Why is it so hard for me to get women

[RichardTheFrog]

If you don't have a social circle you're not going to get women in your life. It's like bricking up the door to your house and complaining that you're not getting out enough.

I'm in the same position myself - I work 16 hour days and I don't have many people to socialise with. So I'm happy to accept that girls are not a priority until I'm done with my current job and in the mean time I'm working out and working on improving myself.

Self improvement is the key. Wallowing in self pity (which I'm not saying you're doing btw), buying material s*** and ranting about how all women are Satanists isn't helpful.

Okay well I hate people cause there a bunch of selfish a-holes. Why would I want a social circle?

 

[Urbanyst]

Women are attracted to men with game, not money.

Blue pill sh*t.

 

[ubercat]

So this weekend I turned down dinner with friends on Friday night because they had booked the restaurant for 8 p.m. and I couldn't be bothered hanging around that long after work. I went to the pub with a couple of mates instead. Yesterday I did my Domestics and then took the girlfriend to the beach. She paddlef around in some big rock pools while I did some free diving in the kelp beds. Then we eat fish n chips on the pier. Rang my sister's in New Zealand because it has been a while and had a yap. Went to tennis coaching at bloody 7:30 a.m. this morning to help out my coach had something on. Been working on my assignment and then I'm off to play tennis with friends. After that I have to fill out a whole lot of forms for the new bloody job freaking background checks and get my stuff ready for work tomorrow.

Now I'm an old fart you should be busier than that

 

[corrector]

I can figure everything else in life, but women. Am I just genetically inferior?

It is because you are Black and the women you are pursuing have inbred family members that are KKK. Nothing personal.

 

[wifehunter]

Guys, Jesus...can we get some positivity? I feel like every thread is just people whining or ranting en masse lately. I rant too, but I try to keep it constructive. All this blame-game and "it's everyone else's fault" is really getting hard to read.

This isn't HateWomen.com, this is supposed to be about personal betterment. I only joined before Christmas but the vibe then was far more helpful and positive, every thread I read now is basically "life sucks, women suck, dating sucks, I'm buying 6 feet of rope tomorrow if I don't get a GF. But I'm also totally alpha and not at all insecure."

Most guys on here are orbiters without a clue. That frustration ends up as negativity on these forums.

Ok, new rule!

No babies allowed!

Lolz!!! I'm sure that will go over well.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Most guys on here are orbiters without a clue. That frustration ends up as negativity on these forums.

Ok, new rule!

No babies allowed!

Lolz!!! I'm sure that will go over well.

And other guys are Uber Eats drivers that give advice they're unqualified to give.

 

[devilkingx2]

A woman knows within 10 seconds after meeting if she finds you attractive or not, if she does not then no amount of "confidence", status or money is gonna make her feel genuinely attracted.

if that was true game is pointless and urbanyst has been right about everything this whole time

the key to getting laid would always be to just find the girls who had instant attraction to you and it would be nearly impossible to get any other girl

I don't think this reflects the reality of the game for most of us though.

If you don't have a social circle you're not going to get women in your life.

well he could cold approach or be in places with women without necessarily being in their group

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

if that was true game is pointless and urbanyst has been right about everything this whole time

the key to getting laid would always be to just find the girls who had instant attraction to you and it would be nearly impossible to get any other girl

I don't think this reflects the reality of the game for most of us though.



well he could cold approach or be in places with women without necessarily being in their group

With regards to the "first 10 seconds" comment, that's sort of semi-true. I think the first impression is very important (because you're not going to get the time with a girl to change her opinion if you come across as a d*ck in the first 10 seconds). But at the same time you can change that impression if she's amiable towards you.

I read an interesting article the other day about a middle-aged guy and his younger neighbour. He was attracted to her for a long time but it didn't happen because she didn't see him as "her type". He got friend zoned, basically. But he didn't care that much, continued dating and just doing his own thing.

One day they were having a "friendly" drink and their hands brushed, and she said in that moment her view of him suddenly changed and she realised she found him really hot. It was something she'd sort of been ignoring or dismissing as "silly" because of the age gap but that moment of touch made her reconsider more realistically. Then they got married and that was like 10 years ago.

Also King that is true, but cold approach is much harder in my experience of it. Plus if you have no social circle you also have nowhere to hone your general social skills, which means your small talk is going to be very poor.

 

[devilkingx2]

With regards to the "first 10 seconds" comment, that's sort of semi-true. I think the first impression is very important (because you're not going to get the time with a girl to change her opinion if you come across as a d*ck in the first 10 seconds). But at the same time you can change that impression if she's amiable towards you.

I mean, a good first impression is really important, but i think that's different from saying that it's all riding on the first 10 seconds

If she thinks you're absolutely trash in the first 10 seconds then sure you have no hope, but that shouldn't be common

 

[ohrein]

Guys, Jesus...can we get some positivity? I feel like every thread is just people whining or ranting en masse lately. I rant too, but I try to keep it constructive. All this blame-game and "it's everyone else's fault" is really getting hard to read.

This isn't HateWomen.com, this is supposed to be about personal betterment. I only joined before Christmas but the vibe then was far more helpful and positive, every thread I read now is basically "life sucks, women suck, dating sucks, I'm buying 6 feet of rope tomorrow if I don't get a GF. But I'm also totally alpha and not at all insecure."

It's all these LMS worshipers. I don't even know why they're here since they've already figured it all out. I guess it's for the pity party.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I can figure everything else in life, but women. Am I just genetically inferior?

Probably has to do with genetic predisposition, your predicament as a man (or lack thereof), and your placeholder on the dominance hierarchy.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

It's all these LMS worshipers. I don't even know why they're here since they've already figured it all out. I guess it's for the pity party.

Yeah exactly. I've got no problem with "LMS" in terms of using those things as additional strings to a guy's bow. But these people in the last couple of weeks preaching cash, cars and their work life as a total game, physique, humour, personality and integrity replacement are starting to do my head in.

There are few things more tedious than a man who thinks his wallet is his entire raison d'etre.

I think the most amusing thing about it is that the LMS obsessives are usually the most vacuous sad sack guys that are bitterly ranting and saying they hate all women in one thread while at the same time bragging in another about how superior they are to people with less cash.

 

[ohrein]

Yeah exactly. I've got no problem with "LMS" in terms of using those things as additional strings to a guy's bow. But these people in the last couple of weeks preaching cash, cars and their work life as a total game, physique, humour, personality and integrity replacement are starting to do my head in.

There are few things more tedious than a man who thinks his wallet is his entire raison d'etre.

I think the most amusing thing about it is that the LMS obsessives are usually the most vacuous sad sack guys that are bitterly ranting and saying they hate all women in one thread while at the same time bragging in another about how superior they are to people with less cash.

I'd be bitter too if I believed it. What I don't understand is why they refuse to be open to the possibility that there is more to the picture when it seems so blindingly obvious that there is. I have never met a high quality woman who would consider money and status anything but a bonus, nor one who has unrealistic expectations of what a guy should look like. I think on average guys tend to date down more because we're more pragmatic, but I think the women who only want hot, rich and famous guys are pretty vacuous people you really wouldn't want to spend much time with anyway.

If all you have to offer is looks, money and/or status, you'll only attract women who place those as her highest values. We have a word for people who place looks, money and/or status as high values. Shallow. Not exactly the type of people you're going to have deep social connections with. Like attracts like, you reap what you sow.

 

[devilkingx2]

I think the most amusing thing about it is that the LMS obsessives are usually the most vacuous sad sack guys that are bitterly ranting and saying they hate all women in one thread while at the same time bragging in another about how superior they are to people with less cash.

It's really simple, people like to live in the world that they do best in.

Those of us who are broke like to live in a world where money means nothing and you can get any girl as a hobo

Those of us who are ugly like to live in a world where looks mean nothing and just about anyone who looks like george costanza or frank reynolds can get any girl they want with this one simple trick (buy now!)

Those of us who are awkward or weird or azzholes or boring like to imagine that they live in a world where you don't need pesky unimportant things like tact or social skills or wit/banter or the ability to talk to people to get laid, or one where you shouldn't need those things.

Next time you see someone claiming XYZ doesn't matter only ABC does, count how many of those people seem to lack XYZ and only have ABC

I think the female equivalent is a woman who passes off insecurity or prudishness as being chaste/virtuous/empowered/respecting herself, (so rather than fixing her weaknesses, only slvts do those things anyway so it's okay if she doesn't)

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

If all you have to offer is looks, money and/or status, you'll only attract women who place those as her highest values. We have a word for people who place looks, money and/or status as high values. Shallow. Not exactly the type of people you're going to have deep social connections with. Like attracts like, you reap what you sow.

Funny thing is, you tell them that's the only type of chick they'll attract and then ten years down the line they're complaining that their mansion and ferrari is being taken away by the ex-wife and they can't understand why she only cares about money.

 

[devilkingx2]

If all you have to offer is looks, money and/or status, you'll only attract women who place those as her highest values. We have a word for people who place looks, money and/or status as high values. Shallow. Not exactly the type of people you're going to have deep social connections with. Like attracts like, you reap what you sow.

To be fair the benefit of looks is that they're not going anywhere, you don't magically become ugly overnight unless you're in a horrific accident (in which case you're ****ed no matter what and have bigger concerns than women). It's money and status that are fleeting since going broke or losing your job are not exactly uncommon things

 

[ohrein]

To be fair the benefit of looks is that they're not going anywhere, you don't magically become ugly overnight unless you're in a horrific accident (in which case you're ****ed no matter what and have bigger concerns than women). It's money and status that are fleeting since going broke or losing your job are not exactly uncommon things

That doesn't make looks valuable. It depends on whether or not you think enjoying looking at someone is worth more than enjoying speaking to them. If I was forced to choose, I'd take an ugly, nice and interesting woman over a hot, bitchy and boring woman any time. So if looks are something you place a lot of value you in, you probably don't have a lot to offer outside of your own looks, if you're even good looking. Maybe you're ugly and shallow. That'd suck.

 

[Stephen89]

Try day game. Check out my thread: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/a-natural-guide-to-help-attracting-women.237129/

Fix your posture and body language. Have the body language of a bad boy, look up YouTube videos.

Go to the gym.

Wear nice, well fitting clothes, groom well, have a good hairstyle.

Take care of your skin.

Read up on conversation skills.

Just keep going, always keep improving.

Good luck

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

To be fair the benefit of looks is that they're not going anywhere, you don't magically become ugly overnight unless you're in a horrific accident (in which case you're ****ed no matter what and have bigger concerns than women). It's money and status that are fleeting since going broke or losing your job are not exactly uncommon things

I have known guys or girls who were 8+ or modeled and 99% of the time, it usually doesn't end well. One dude is a male model who banged other models and pageant winners. Guy looked like that serial killer that women were all going nuts about via social media. Said male model ended up in jail for assaulting women. Thought he was above the law. Jail did not treat him well and he aged beyond his years due to poor lifestyle choices and steroid use.

A girl who modeled and participated in beauty pageants peaked in her early 20s before having kids (shocker) with the wrong guy. Present day, you would not imagine she was once WINNER of multiple pageants. Far from thin/young/attractive. More like pair shaped.

Just about every woman I know who was hawt girl in high school is single mom, pair shaped, and bulking season has kicked off. A young girl that use to hangout with my buddy's gf was straight up JAIL BAIT but, she was always getting banged out in her teens by guys 10yrs older. All "bad boys" or playboys and she was catching stds nonstop. Was rocking a fake ID into bars/clubs at age 16 looking like she was already in her mid 20s. Present day, she is thick and nearing fat as **** stage. Her days are beyond her. Predisposed to looking older and not getting I.D. while being jail bait. Combine this with cocaine, molly, not working out, sleeping around, and being a slob.


Play the cards you are dealt. I know "cute" or even busted girls who came into their own later in life. I know guys who played footie who are not fat as **** slobs. Peaked in high school and later got cucked by their little cherish.

When you have necessity driving you, it goes a long way.

 

[devilkingx2]

That doesn't make looks valuable. It depends on whether or not you think enjoying looking at someone is worth more than enjoying speaking to them. If I was forced to choose, I'd take an ugly, nice and interesting woman over a hot, bitchy and boring woman any time. So if looks are something you place a lot of value you in, you probably don't have a lot to offer outside of your own looks, if you're even good looking. Maybe you're ugly and shallow. That'd suck.

I don't place too much emphasis on looks, as long as she isn't outright gross/unappealing to the eye then she has a chance with me

But i was merely pointing out that your looks are an inseparable part of you, so i wouldn't put it in the same boat as someone liking you for money or status, at least your looks are actually part of you