Why is it GUYS who seem to get too emotionally invested?

[Toast123]

Shouldn't it be girls?

Girls are the more emotional beings, so how come nowadays at least it's mostly guys who ruin relationship prospects by their emotional behaviour?

Is it a biological irony or a cultural thing? Shouldn't pin pointing the reason for this emotional epidemic be the key priority in order to shift the balance back to the way it seems it should be?

Why are women the men in todays dating warzone?

 

[SoldMySoul]

Hate to admit, but GUILTY as charged. I did not why, but a close friend made me see why. Here is his answer: You do it because you are unhappy with your life and you try to let her make you happy.

WOW!! Hit me like a mack truck because he was spot on I tell ya.

You must be happy with yourself to prevent this!! Working on this very same subject right freaking now as I type! Last several years of my life I have been unhappy with me, not physically, but where my life has gone. I will change that and I hope my post sheds light.

 

[djokovic77]

It's because of the relative value in terms of abundance on average. Girls can always find another d*ck, not the same with many guys, especially those with AFC personas and p*ssy. My advice: Man up, realize you're the prize (men are way smarter, logical, better people on average) than women. And have your OWN abundance mindset. If you got this p*ssy, why can't you get another.

 

[nismo-4]

It's because of the relative value in terms of abundance on average. Girls can always find another d*ck, not the same with many guys, especially those with AFC personas and p*ssy. My advice: Man up, realize you're the prize (men are way smarter, logical, better people on average) than women. And have your OWN abundance mindset. If you got this p*ssy, why can't you get another.

Judge nismo knows that most guys, in reality, have little to no options. A man can dump a woman, but there will always be a thousand guys who will bend over backwards for her. And women know this.

All women, in reality, have the choosing power and a sh*tload of options. If they get rejected, they won't cry, they won't get angry, they'll just call a random man's number from their phone or on facebook.

Even though women hold the sex card (absolutely) and men hold the relationship card (laughable at best) it's not equal. Why your honor? Because a woman can get sex as fast as ordering a pizza. They can even get a boyfriend that fast if they wanted! But most men can't get a relationship within 2 or 3 weeks of trying.

A lot of men lately have been coming out of the closet or getting into bad marriages/ relationships AND STAYING IN THEM because they fear or know that they'll be out of a woman for weeks or months on end if they leave. Men are more likely to be hurt in the dating game than women are.

Women control the dating game.

Case closed.

 

[Mike32ct]

Men can be emotional too.

For example:

1. Approach anxiety
2. Oneitis
3. Fear of rejection
4. Getting upset because someone "disrespected" you

Sure we able capable of being quite logical, but emotions can easily be a man's achilles heel too.

Add this to women's enormous power advantage as described in the Judge's ruling, and you have the perfect storm for men being very emotionally invested in dating and the game.

 

[bigneil]

I agree with the previous 2 posts by Mike32ct and Judge Nismo. Showing emotion is a feminine quality. But it's only human for a man to express that side of himself after enough time has elapsed.

If you are getting emotional on the second date - BAD.

If you aren't showing any emotion by the 6th month - INHUMAN. Some women will still hold it against you if you ever emit emotion, but IMO you should hold that against them. (Sex without emotion = slut).

 

[st_99]

Women control the dating game.

By simple logic i'd say thats true. Since men are the pursuers that automatically puts us in a position to fail. And since girls do not pursue, they can never fail. But we just need to get over that because thats just the way it is. Learn to love pain.

 

[Kerpal]

Supply and demand. Any girl who's even moderately attractive has many more options than the vast majority of men. The higher the supply of something, the less value it has.

 

[Jitterbug]

It's because there is no socially acceptable emotion outlet for a man other than his woman. A man's support network is pretty much non-existent compared to a woman's.

Showing emotion is a feminine quality.

That is rather modern and culturally programmed - and wrong too.

You can't think of any example of masculine emotional expression?

 

[nismo-4]

By simple logic i'd say thats true. Since men are the pursuers that automatically puts us in a position to fail. And since girls do not pursue, they can never fail. But we just need to get over that because thats just the way it is. Learn to love pain.

Men these days have a hard time getting a harem of women. It's not difficult at all for a woman to get a harem of men. Women have Facebook (F**kbook for them, Flakebook for us), Android phones where it can constantly be updated, profiles on online dating where there's ALWAYS a steady stream of suitors lining up, oh my f**kin' god!

A girl pursuing a normal honest man? Sh*t, there's a better chance someone on this board will will the Powerball Lottery!

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Soldmysoul laid it right down!

It's out of loneliness.. The guy does this when he feels that he has a void which needs to be filled. A lot us put women on a pedestal thinking "I need to lose my virginity!", "I need a long term girlfriend!", "I need to get laid!"..

Now look at those three quotes. We have all said them once upon a time.. See what they start out with? "I need". That is "needy" behavior. Needy behavior is a byproduct of insecurity and general unhapiness with yourself. Think about it.

"I need to leave the bar with some chick tonight!" - I am desperate for sex.

"Sorry guys, I can't hang. this girl just got back to me." - I am desperate to have this woman in my life. (You love your friends, but have no problem losing them for some chick that stood you up last week).

We need to abandon this idea of "emotional investment".. It's not emotional investment at all. It's "needy investment". All of my good friends who have hot girlfriends don't just ditch their friends to be with their girlfriend. If anything, they tell the girl to come to them and hangout with all of us.

 

[Trump]

Some of the responses in here are scary. Some posters are giving women all sorts of credit for just living and breathing.

Once a girl knows you are emotionally invested, actually, you can even forget girls, anyone in the world; friends, employers, coworkers, anyone who knows you are emotionally invested in something they have, they will crush you and use it to their complete advantage.

To not get emotionally invested...you have to have options.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Some of the responses in here are scary. Some posters are giving women all sorts of credit for just living and breathing.

Once a girl knows you are emotionally invested, actually, you can even forget girls, anyone in the world; friends, employers, coworkers, anyone who knows you are emotionally invested in something they have, they will crush you and use it to their complete advantage.

To not get emotionally invested...you have to have options.

And you are absolutely correct. Once they know, game over!

 

[zekko]

The OP asks a good question. Because we are always being told women are the emotional ones. So why does the guy so often get too emotionally invested?

As several posters said, it must come down to options. Girls have plenty of options. Like in the recent thread where the guy created two profiles on POF, a male and a female. The female profile got over 300 responses and the male got none. If you had 300 girls lined up who all wanted to date you, you probably wouldn't get emotionally involved so easily either.

Also, if a girl gets too emotionally involved, it's to be expected. A guy isn't usually going to be repulsed by it, he'll more likely be flattered. Men aren't supposed to be emotional so they get punished for it.

 

[perseverance]

Humans have emotions, get over it. Some people are more emotional than others. It's a myth that women are in general more emotional men, each person is different.

Emotions are not a weakness, but they need to be controlled so they are not detrimental to yourself.

 

[d!ckmojo]

Its the pareto principle. 80/20.

20% of the guys do 80% of the fvcking.

Do you think any of those guys in the top 20% are getting emotionally invested in b!tches? Fvck No!

If a guy is emotionally invested in a chick, he's officially in the bottom 80%, and that's a fact.

 

[bigneil]

If you can't get women you are capable of eventually falling in love with (i.e., having emotions toward), you are underachieving.

 

[zekko]

Perseverance, you're taking a dump on one of the main principles of PUA Bro Theory: That women run solely on emotion and make all their decisions solely on emotion. While I've never completely bought that, it is true that men are discouraged from showing their emotions from a young age. We're supposed to be more logical.

D!ckmojo, regarding the Pareta Principle: Does this work for women also? 20% of the women do 80% of the fvcking? Could be. . I've never heard that discussed here.

Bigneil, I agree with you. It's a total myth that Alphas don't fall in love.

 

[bigneil]

Learn to love pain.

This is key. When you get blown off, and you can feel your nerves burning, take a moment to enjoy feeling so alive. Be thankful you obtained a woman who could affect you so thoroughly. Realize it has to strengthen you somehow. Get back to your purpose in life. As soon as you do, she'll call.

 

[zorg198]

This is key. When you get blown off, and you can feel your nerves burning, take a moment to enjoy feeling so alive. Be thankful you obtained a woman who could affect you so thoroughly. Realize it has to strengthen you somehow. Get back to your purpose in life. As soon as you do, she'll call.

you mean even if you blow up your chances with her , you learn from it and man up and improve yourself and there is a chance she will see you differently and might reconsider?