Why internet personals are a waste of time

chicago#1

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This post is for the newbies mostly, but also to compare experience with DJs who have tried this.

I recently tried an experiment, to compare results of DJing women in person and to try it via internet personals. The results have drawn me to two conclusions: that personals are the great equalizer in bringing all men down to the lowest common denominator--making AFCs as appealing as DJs, and that women who use the personls on line are people that want to fill their lives with the illusion that they can get dates, because guys will not ask them out in real life. A woman cannot tell if she is getting a quality guy or a chump, and that means she has to choose randomly. The technology messes with the DJ game of the initial attaction.

Any AFC can get something up on an internet site, and make claims that they are the shyt, because it is easy to hide behind the safety of a keyboard. Everyone appears to be the quality applicant, just as people do when they write a resume for a job for which they are barely qualified. You are in the position of setting up a date with someone whom you may or may not have given the time of day.

It is also proof that just because a woman is physically hot she may not be much of anything else. Many women on the personals have no intention whatsoever of bedding anyone they agree to meet, in spite of what they claim. It has more to do with feeding a fragile ego, that they can now get guys falling all over them. If you respond to a persoanl ad, you are setting your self up to be used by an attention wh0re. (To prove my point, I even set up a date and went out with one woman who turned out to be GAY!)

Many women in these cases are emotionally retarded; they act like men and cannot get dates. They are so preoccupied with career or so emotionally unavailable that they have no time to even meet men and have a distorted illusion that if they run a personal that they will somehow have time to date one. Some are bored with their freinds, and rather then do the hard work of changing their life, they turn toward the personals to find AFCs that they can LJBF later on, and build a group of men that will worship her but will never get the p*ssy. These women are lazy and want an AFC who will bow down to them and treat them like a queen, so she can dump him later.

A DJ is at a disadvantage because it is difficult to screen out the undesirable elements. You have to spent the date gaging interest level, when this is the time that is spent *rasing* it. It fvcks with the DJ game. A DJ may be on a date with a woman that has no interest in him, as she has effectively gotten past the screening process. You are allowing your time to be wasted as a result. You have taken a job that takes ten minutes and drawn it out to several days.

In the meantime, I have come to be more relaxed with women I meet in person, from the mere repetion of rejection and focusing on my life. I now have women approaching me and I can now engage them with no stress--a big change from 3 months ago! The women I meet in person are genuinely more interesting and much more dateable and fvckable.

There are no shortcuts to being a DJ; you have to get out there and do the hard work of meeting them, closing on the number and getting the dates. Personals are like going to Vegas to find your retirement; it might happen to one here and there, but it is not a good investement of time, unless you want to shack up with a woman with more baggage then a fogged in airport, one that has mental problems or some other problem you won't find out about until it is too late. This isn't to say that you can't get laid by using the internet personals; it is to say that it is ten times more work and hassle then if you meet women in person.

And it is no substitue for meeting women in person. It did have the advantage of allowing me to burn through women that I didn't like too much to work on my nervousness on the first date, so that I could be more relaxed around women that I really do like and are fvcking hot, but that was the only advantage I can see.

So newbies, beware.

[This message has been edited by chicago#1 (edited 04-22-2002).]
 

studmuffin15

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chi:

i respectfully disagree in a partial sense. when using internet personals, it all depends on WHAT u r looking for. in many cases, using the personals as a DJ can actually be quicker and much less expensive in weeding out the losers than meeting a girl face to face.

in my own experience, here is my example:

1.)grammar. when i scope out a personal, i pay particular attention to grammar. if i see a girl writing a narrative chock-full of misspellings, poor punctuation, etc., i realize one of 2 things...a.) she doesnt pay attention to detail which automatically "NEXTs" her or b.) she has poor english skills, which may or may not be a sign of an overall lack of intelligence. personally, i chose to avoid these girls bcuz i like my women to be well-spoken and classy, not speaking as if they just walked out of the trailer park.

2.) when i approach personals and e-mail a girl, we initially have a few short e-mail or i.m. discussions online. from this, i can pretty much gauge as to whether or not she may be dating material>>>>without spending any $$$ on her.

compare this to meeting a girl at a bar or noisy club, etc. even to remotely get to know her, u will prob have to at least buy her a drink or so, and if u may have to go out once or twice (costing money) before u possibly see that she is not the one for u.

i feel that personals are also very good for men who are handicapped in approaching women. by using the personals and conversing online before meeting, that male has a general sense of his date's interests and thus removes much pressure from him in conversing, etc.

as far as people putting on an act, thats very true....but dont girls put on acts in places such as clubs anyway? people all over put on acts in trying to mate and besides, if an internet girl stands u up on a date, how is it different by being stood up by a girl u met in real life??

when it comes down to it, people know the internet game and if they are serious about meeting someone online, they wont put a pic up of cindy crawford and pass it off as themselves bcuz they know that once they meet u and u see who they r, u will dump them and they will have wasted their time...

internet dating isnt for everyone...i think u need to really analyze a girl's ad, and later, analyze her online correspondance. personally, i have had good success with girls online and although i agree that many girls post bcuz they are losers in reality, there are also many out there that are quality and cant meet quality guys at school, clubs, bars, etc. (much the same as all of us on the site constantly whining cuz we cant find "quality" girls.

so, although i believe that internet dating isnt for everyone, i believe that it deservers a little bit more credit than you give it. as far as i am concerned, anything negative that could happen online, could also happen with a chick u met face-to-face anyway in the first place.

besides, if u approach internet dating as trying to make some new female platonic friends, whats wrong with that?? thats good stuff too.
 

Giovanni Casanova

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Chicago, I agree with you wholeheartedly.



------------------
CASANOVA

"Now when you talk with her, I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie that everybody really hopes makes it happen. I want you to be the guy in the rated-R movie who you're not sure if you like yet."
- Trent in "Swingers"

"Enough of this melodrama. My advice: Just one b*tch in this world. One b*tch with many faces."
- Jay, in "Chasing Amy"
 

86

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all you guys bring up good points...totally agree with Chi's comments on attention wh*res and emotional retards.

I apparently got lucky and actually met an honest-to-god great woman online. still seeing her today, too. as far as 99% of all the other chum/dregs/flotsam out there, beware.

I don't necessarily think online personals could ever replace the act of actually going out on the town, etc. but if you have realistic expectations, they can help augment your DJ arsenal. just don't expect it to work half the time - as I said, I think I was just lucky...
 

Bonhomme

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Once again I am called upon to play the Devil's Advocate. Not that I mind.


For young people, Chicago's right. His points are all valid.

But once you get into your 30s-50s, the gals who would consider hooking up with someone your age are usually either married or don't get out often until they *retire*. Many are divorced parents or single moms who have to work *and* watch the kids.

So where's the best place to meet them?

Personal ads. The odds are just way better for 30+ individuals.


[This message has been edited by Bonhomme (edited 04-30-2002).]
 

Mack

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My 5 cents on this matter is that you should approach the personals with a grain of salt. You'll find all kinds of people there, just like in the chat rooms, from the most plain boring dumb bitx to the intelligent sucessfull classy ladie, who isn't afraid to play with the new trends.

I met a nurse in a chat room, and she is as dumb as a rock, but I have a ladie approach me because she felt intrigued with my personal, and she is hot and smart, I didn't bang her already because I have an ocean in between us, and I'm using her to perfect my conversational skills.

So as with real life, it is ambiguous.

Peace

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Mack

"I can't blame them for loving me, I got many charming traits"
"Just because I don't post a lot, it doesn't mean I know any less"
 

T Dog

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Internet personal ads verus AOL.

A friend of mine (I swear it isn't me guys!) use to hook up like a mad man on AOL. The quality isn't what I'd call good, but for this AFC, it was alright.
 

Ricky

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It is OK if you are moving to a new town to meet new women that way before you leave.

That is how I recommend it. As far as girls in a town you've lived in for a while, it is only decent.

I'm a decent looking guy but dont want my picture up on a site, so I write girls and if they sound interesting I'll send them a picture. However this method gets lower responses, some girls won't respond to an initial message that doesn't have a picture in the profile, simply because they get thousands of messages and don't have time.

That is the problem, women get tons of messages so you have to write something good.

I have met a couple of really nice girls in other towns that I visited on vacations. You could always do this easily. In my case I was actually planning on moving to the town so the girl was a good source of information. But I guess you could say you are moving somewhere (that you are going on vacation to and try to get somewhere with the girl then). That would be lying though! HAHHA
 
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