"Why I'm Not Marriage Material"

[ThisNThat]

This is an interesting article about a woman that has "gone her way" and will intend remaining single through the rest of her life. She's in her early 40s. The author works for Chanel and is quite, quite successful in life. A go getter.

Anyhow, she wrote an article, "Why I'm Not Marriage Material" that reflects upon her previous marriage. She was a pregnant teen in high school and mentions since that she's lived in a small town that she likely didn't become student body president like her sister because of her teen pregnancy. At least that's what I think she's implying.

Anyway, I think this was a defining moment in her life to get passed that fishbowl community and leave town to go on to greater things. She was married young, like 19 or 20, possibly shotgun wedding? By the time she was 30-ish, she realized she was no longer the same person and her husband and herself went separate ways.

There was no cheating, monkey branching, looking for the BBD on her part, her and her husband weren't the same people they were when they were kids.

Now there are certain exerpts of the why's and how she thinks she's not marriage material. And though companionship is great...it's only temporary and eventually she'll feel stifled...

I love companionship, but I’ve also come to realize how happy I am when I’m single. Many people marry because they’re scared of the prospect of being alone. But I’ve accumulated evidence of my levels of happiness with and without a partner. Turns out, I’m pretty darn happy with both, but when a relationship starts to deteriorate, I get very unhappy. When I’m single, I might occasionally yearn for companionship, but my happiness levels are off the charts.

Usually when I read articles like this, there are stand-out portions of the article that makes me think they are just making excuses for their failed relationships, esp. if there was no cheating, abuse, drug/
alcohol

It seems to be an excuse she made for the ol' "we grew apart" situation. A cop-out.

Is she saying she's "not marriage material" because she has commitment issues?

If you think about it, the article seems to reflect what a lot of posters have said about women, and in fact it's actually being told BY a woman as most would probably nod at some portions of her article.

But by publishing the article in TIME does it somehow give her an "out" when it comes to her failed marriage? Or was the marriage even considered a failure in her eyes or is she trying to rationalize her inability to commit to the long term?

 

[El Payaso]

I agree with the article but she's a woman so she doesn't address some of the reasons many men don't want to get married anymore. Family court bias, risk of losing half your wealth, law enforcement bias etc.

 

[RangerMIke]

@El Payaso is correct. As a chick she will NEVER be able to see the problem, because she believes that women really are as much if not more productive than men. She still thinks we live in a 'patriarchy' which is HILARIOUS. She probably also believes that the 'wage gag' is a real thing. Let's face it... a country without men would devolve into a chaotic steaming pile of cr@p. Women need men to get things done. As an example... single moms are more than 10 times more likely to live in poverty then single dads.

Society for tens of thousands of years recognized the reality of this, so in exchange for taking care of women, men were given authority over them. Men had responsibility, but we also had authority and appreciation for what we did. NOW, men STILL have all the responsibility and none of the respect, we are blamed for all the ills.... with divorced men getting r@ped in Courts of "Equity", AKA Family Courts. It used to be a man was king of his castle... now he's just a wage slave for the "Queen". This is what happens when you marry.

There is nothing anyone can do about this... as long as there are more women then men, and they have the right to vote... you will continue to see men forced to sacrifice and women taking what men produce. All you can do is avoid marriage... but that won't fix anything, because chicks will still have babies, and the fathers of these babies will be chained to their queen, paying for her brood... and if the man is poor and has nothing... no worries, she will just go on public assistance and all us single bachelors will end up, one day, paying a "bachelor" tax to pay for them... Government and society will ensure we men pay to support chicks... one way or another.

The collapse is coming... soon the rest of the United States will look like the Urban culture in our inner cities, we are almost $20 Trillion in debt, and we are not as productive as our spending. Men are abandoning society and marriage.... All you can do as a dude is take care of yourself as best as you can, until society falls apart and is rebuilt with men back in charge.