why does she ignore me?? have i done sth. wrong?

[xRobertx]

hi,

i'd like to know the reason(s) why the following happened, in order to handle it better next time. here's my story in short:

2 friends get to know 2 girls who live 200+ miles away but are here for holiday - they spend an evening in a bar talking, having fun and decide to get together the next day

next day: one of my friends doesn't have time so that's where I come in, we go out, have a couple of drinks and a lot of fun - i flirt a little with both of them - later one of them, the one i prefer, confesses me that both of them like me a LOT - i did nothing because it was an akward situation (with the other girl around and my friend possibly also preferring "my girl")

day 3: we meet at my friend's flat, have some drinks again and i finally make out with her - she is REALLY horny at that time - even asks me to go to a bedroom but that wasn't possible because this other friend is kind of thunderstruck (because of me making out with her) and wants to leave to some other place - i get upset and argue with everyone (including my girl) - mood went down - i then tell her to come home with me, at first she doesn't want to, but does so in the end - she kind of falls in my bed (~4.30 am -> tired and drunk) - no sex possible

day 4: they have to leave, i take her to her other friend - farewell: trying not to get hurt i say "bye, we'll never see each other" - she: "ok" (i'm dissappointed of her "ok"-reaction, but I shouldn't have been so rigorous at first)

she leaves
----
couple of days later: i call her and tell her that I enjoyed being with her and asked her to come by again. she says she wont in the near future because it's to expensive (train, etc., lame excuse?? although she's still a student/pupil...) - she "would be a lot of fun if you came here" - me being disappointed again i say "no, probably won't" - good-bye

----
now (month later) her girlfriend has a birthday-party - she already invited my two other friend before i got to know the girls - i'm not invited (maybe she is angry because i prefered her friend back then)

the thing that makes me crazy is:
MY girl calls my friends a couple of times to convince them to come to her friend's party - NOT ONE SINGLE WORD ABOUT ME - purposely, i'm sure


why??
what was wrong??
does she want to make me feel bad??
what could i have done better??
overall comments??


please help, this time it seems to be over, but i want to improve for the next time!!


thanks

xrx

 

[xRobertx]

btw: it's not really about that party. i dont care too much about that. but i want to understand it...

 

[DJSask]

both times she was with you she'd been drinking....

uh hate to break it to ya dude... but it was a drunk N horny thing... if a girl digs ya wild horses won't keep her away

 

[PRMoon]

First off you mentioned after you started makin out with this girl that your friend was kind of awe struck and intimidation factor set in and he wanted to leave... then you got angry.

Although girls like guys who take charge of the situation, when you get pissed off and start arguing with everyone in the room, including the girl you are making out with, you start putting yourself in the a$$hole zone. It's not a bad place to be in if you're planning on a one night stand but if you hoping for a return trip of some kind in the future you've got to keep it to a minimum. Some girls get off on total a$$ but you have to feel your way to these types which you did not, instead you just jumped right in.

At 4:30 am you said she was too drunk and tired to score off of. Not necessarily true. My room mate scores off of girls coming home from late night clubs who are super WASTED at 4 and 5 in the morning who claimed (At first) that they didn't want to have sex. The most recent of which happened two weeks ago with a girl he'd been working on all night who not only had a boyfriend but had only had sex once before in her life with that same boyfriend and he still got her to have a one night stand which i assure you was the last thing she wanted to do.

Then you told her there was no chance of the two of you seeing each other again (combined with the slight a$$hole factor in her mind, she probably didn't mind too much). You then called her asking about chances of you two seeing each other again, after things don't go as you expect you say goodbye to her again this time over the phone.

Overall you pretty much botched this one cheif. You got to remember to keep your cool ie don't get upset when you're making progress and there's a set back. Opportunity knocks more than once. Also take advantage where advantage presents itself. When you've convinced a girl to go back to your house with you let her rest for a bit but then it's okay to at least attempt to put some moves on her. Lastly don't be a kill joy when she's leaveing town don't state the obviouse that you'll never see her again. Girls don't want to hear that, present her with some hope (even false hope is good) that there's a chance you might cross paths in the future. Typically girls will go out of there way to see you again if you present yourself in a positive manner or give them the GD at some point.

 

[ManOMan]

I beg to differ,

When someone is drunk, sure their judgement is distorted, but its not like they are on LSD and an ugly guy becomes attractive.

If this was the case, every AFC would be getting laid.

My take is you kept shooting her down, she asks you to visit, you say no

soo now she is angry and bitter, and she is trying to make you feel like sh1t (for revenge) OR she simply has moved on and doesnt care

 

[Disco]

Dude you showed out and it sounds like your pursaded that chick to stay with you when you didn't want to. Then the "we'll never see each other again thing" what as that, like feel sorry for me kind of thing? You shouldn't have burnt the bridge, nor showed out. You also should have just worked one girl, especially if they are friends.

 

[Shot Callin]

It sounds to me like you sort of dissed her. First off your goodbye seems totally like a diss. I know you didn't want to be AFC and start crying, but you could have made some effort to sound sincere (which you would be sincere in wanting to fvck her right?).

Next when you talked to her on the phone you didn't make any effort to let her know you wanted to hook up again. Once again you don't want to be afc and go out and see her on your knees, but some effort to sound sincere could have helped.

Maybe she has moved on and she doesn't want to see you again cause you dissed her. Or B.) she might be receptive if you gave her a call and chatted it up a bit with a little C&F, and made some effort to be cool.

Why not try calling her? Can't hurt right?

 

[xRobertx]

thanks for the replies


yes, were drinking both times but she was quite touchy-feely when I saw her in the morning of day 3 (left it out before because I thought it wasnt so important) when she must have been sober.

and although i got angry this one time I dont think it really got me into the a$$hole zone because on the next day when i took her to her friend everything seemed to be normal.

strange...

but I still dont really understand why she didn't even mention my name when asking my friends to come to this party.

If she had already moved on and didn't really care about me, then she could have also called me or at least told my friends to invite me too. Additionally SHE called them to convince them to come to HER FRIENDS party. she didnt just forget about me, thats obvious.

Calling her again? after typing the above paragraph thats honestly not what I want to do...

If she is a real b!tch she will try to make a move on one of my friends...

any more comments on this??

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Sorry dude, you make it sound like you are something more than acqaintences. You want her to 'care' for you, after, after hanging out few times? Maybe, just maybe the girl that is having the party specifically requested that you be not invited - she doesn't like you and you rub her the wrong way. So it may have nothing to do with 'your' girl. Have you ever considered that you 'out played' your buddy, and he doesn't want you there either?