Why does hooking up at house parties seem like such an impossible task??

[Blizzard1]

I go to a lot of house parties, and not once have I ever number closed or kiss closed a girl, despite getting constant IOI's. Everytime I'm at a house party, it always seems like the same situation unfolds:

Everyone (guys and girls) pack together in the kitchen or living room (often around the drinks or beer pong table), and ONE guy (always the loudest, most confident / funny guy) in the room seems to take over the conversation and repeatedly makes the entire group of guys and girls erupt in laughter at his jokes and stories. Occasionally, I will be able to throw in a story or some lines to interject what the other guy is saying and get some laughs but it it's obvious that this other guy is controlling the frame of the entire conversation, and all the girls just keep laughing / giggling at everything that comes out of his mouth. It feels like such a competition.

Even when I get IOI's from a girl or two after throwing in my own story / funny comment, it just seems VERY inappropriate to either

A)attempt to isolate her (by asking her, for example, to come with me to check out the pool in the backyard), or

B)try to build rapport with her there in front of everyone else ( by asking questions like "where are you from?" etc...) . it just seems like nobody wants to be distracted from listening to the loud, funny guy in the room tell all his stories and do all his impersonations. None of the girls ever want to split from their little comfortable bubble that consists of eachother and the alpha male.

Ultimately, my problem is it always seems impossible to get any 1 on 1 time with a girl.

For those of you who can spot something I'm doing wrong, please let me know. I'm going to two more house parties in the next week (one tonight) and could really use the help.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

Your party dynamics are different from the ones I've been to, but my school was not a good example of the typical college. Most parties I've been to had a bunch of people and groups in different spots. Unless someone was doing something dumb like a keg stand, there really wasn't often a universal center of attention.

What is wrong with isolating? If the girl is attracted to you, she'll give you a chance and hear your "pitch." I don't see anything wrong with exchanging a few words and then saying something like "let's go check out X area." If the party is really loud and she wants to hear what you have to say, she'll be more than willing to step outside where it's quieter.

I will say this though, I am no pick-up expert, but all of the hookups I've had from parties were after going back to my place/her place. Most women will not go home with you from a party if they just want to see your stamp collection.

 

[secks]

Sounds like some of the parties I go to.

Sounds like you need to loosen up and try to enjoy yourself. Talk about what you want to talk about, not what you think other people want to hear. Certain people will want to hear what you have to say.

Make buddies with the popular guy. If you know him, put your arm around his shoulder and talk about something stupid, or just raise your cup and be like lets drink. Just be friendly.

Suddenly everyone wants to talk to you or be around you because you start to establish yourself.

I haven't had too many experiences so this might sound kind of basic, but I hope it helps: the ones I have had, the girls usually follow me around. Joke around with them, and touch them, push them etc. Once you get pretty comfortable, look them in the eyes, and if they want to kiss you it happens. By saying it happens, i mean you have to take the initiative. Pull them in closer, and if they want to kiss, they reciprocate.

Usually try and get comfortable with them while your inside/around other people, but you have to isolate for the kiss. If you guys are touching etc, and you know she likes you, be like: I want to show you something, or let's go see what these guys are doing outside. Actually it doesn't matter what you say, its how you say it and how you do it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Sounds like you need to loosen up and try to enjoy yourself.

Agreed. That is of course supposed to be the point of a party. The OP is probably trying too hard, and women sense it.

Try setting your goals on getting fvcked up and having a good time, without thinking about women. They are drawn to you more when they sense you don't care so much about them.

 

[handle]

Just have a good time, man. Get good and drunk, share stupid exaggerated stories with people, by the end of the night end up sloppily in the corner with some girl... Just enjoy it. As for isolating, you just ****ing walk with her to whoever's place is closest and bang her. If she's shy maybe you set something up or just see her at the next party.

This is all assuming you're in college, not high school.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I'll just sit in a chair as if it's my throne w/ my drink, and the girls seem to want to gather around. I picture myself as Conan (Schwarzenegger) siting on his throne. Just recently on the 4th, I did that and gradually I ended up being the only man in the den. Nothing but me and all the girls in the whole house, so I had to get up to leave (join the boys out shooting fireworks and fvckin around). They (the girls, some married) all smiled as they knew that I could not take their squalking much longer. They were actually talking smack about all us guys while I had been sitting there a good 5 minutes. It started out as me on the couch with 1 girl (23 blond) - I'm going to help her move to a new apt this weekend - then other girls sat down on the other side of her. I wasn't "entertaining" I was just taking up space and being king-like. I was entertaining myself. I love myself. I'm happy. I sing/listen to powerful songs in my head. I know who I am and what I've done. I can talk about anything to a woman. She feels the kinetic energy between us, especially if we're sitting on a couch right next to each other. I may not bang her, but I've got her thinking about me, long after I've left her.

 

[Chromeo]

you just gotta make a move basically.

It helps being the last one awake at a party, you can get laid just by default, same goes for the girl.

Otherwise you gotta make a move and pull her aside. If she is interested you should be able to get her to be alone with you somewhere. Otherwise just enjoy yourself.

 

[eaglez1177]

Agreed. That is of course supposed to be the point of a party. The OP is probably trying too hard, and women sense it.

Try setting your goals on getting fvcked up and having a good time, without thinking about women. They are drawn to you more when they sense you don't care so much about them.

This response is the best piece of advice...I used to be kinda like the OP where I would sometimes try too hard to get the girl, until I figured out its much better to just go to the party, have fun, enjoy yourself, and see what unravels with the ladies. Dont make it blatantly obvious that youre going out of your way to get with a certain girl.

Remember: Once it becomes obvious to the girl that youre trying to bang her, youve already lost the game

 

[handle]

It helps being the last one awake at a party, you can get laid just by default, same goes for the girl.

AAAAhahahahaha I remember those days.

Also, another favorite "default sex" moment of mine: me and 2 friends get real drunk after our last exam. We end up at some bar and these 3 girls are celebrating one of them's birthday. I recognize one of them and start chatting her up. My other friend picks another girl to chat up. Then the odd ones out get to talking. One pair leaves, then me and this girl decide to split and I look over to see the last girl look over at mine and literally _shrug_ like "I guess I got this one" before walking off with my other buddy.

That's another good point to make: bring some fun friends, they come in handy. But don't fall into thinking of it as wingmen, just think of it as a good buddy to hit the party with.

 

[PokerStar]

i think that house parties IS the best to meet some new ladies.

no loud music so you dont have to scream into their ears, proper lighting so you get a chance to see what they look like, and if you are brave enough, you can have the whole house chanting your name at the end of the party.

ive hooked with a few hotties at house parties, just dont worry too much about meeting girls, you should meet and greet both sexes, that way you dont labled a creeper by the other girls.

 

[Perfect]

I know who I am and what I've done.

I almost shed tears at that line for some crazy reason, that is classic.


Confidence booster right there. Felt like a moment of clarity or somethin lmao.. OK im done