Hello. I've been cold approaching for about nine months now, and I'm still not getting laid off of it. I barely get phone numbers(my approach to number ratio is very low, probably 1-2 %). Most of you have seen my pics as well. Maybe part of it is me, and maybe part of it is that I'm in a rural area where most people are married by my age(22). Either way, I'm going out approaching day game style more than ever now. I don't get upset or hurt by women walking away, but I do feel frustrated that I can't even get laid yet. What could I be doing wrong? And maybe it's logistics as well. I'm not sure. I have a very bubbly personality for a male(smiling a lot and being positive), and most people think I may be gay upon first impression, though I have a build like a bruiser, so irony exists. lol I've been dedicated to learning the cold approach for a while, what could make these women not want to talk to me after 30 seconds? I'm just tired of not getting the results I deserve. I have no pick up role models to help me or look up to here as well. We can say inner game all we want, but I want to improve my inner game out in the field, not just continually reading pick up books and articles. I know I will succeed eventually...it's just taking longer than I thought.
Why do women usually walk away after I cold approach them?
- Thread starter Deicide
- Start date
I'm not an expert at the cold approach, but right there are two huge mistakes. Don't smile (I'm not saying never smile). Knock off the gayness. The archetypal tall dark international man of mystery, a guy with the alluring swagger of Christian Slater, isn't bubbly. Despite your build, women probably view you as a lap dog—there's no commanding presence or amused mastery to that.Deicide said:
If people think you are gay upon first impression that's not good for a straight man. It means you're not acting in a masculine manner. There's nothing wrong with being jovial but my guess is there's funny but no ****y.
You're going to have to be more offensive. Say stuff that's off the wall don't be afraid to say stuff that's insulting. Basically the idea is you need to say something that will make a girl laugh and want to hit you. That's when you know you are doing reight or when she calls you a jerk, a-hole, but is smiling or laughing when she says it.
You're going to have to be more offensive. Say stuff that's off the wall don't be afraid to say stuff that's insulting. Basically the idea is you need to say something that will make a girl laugh and want to hit you. That's when you know you are doing reight or when she calls you a jerk, a-hole, but is smiling or laughing when she says it.
I guess I'll have to start consciously negging again. I recently thought I needed to focus on just being a cool guy that can approach, but that isn't working. Yeah, women never call me those things. How soon should I be offensive to a woman?The_411 said:
At FairShake: I can focus on losing weight and trying to get my first amateur boxing match on. I've always done masculine activities. I don't have many friends. I'm always by myself when I go out.
Channel your excited feelings into positive thoughts and behaviors. You will attract women by being enthusiastic, radiating energy, and becoming someone who is fun to be around.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Your prob being a dancing monkey. Trying to entertain them vs. being attractive to them. I would not be negging, it never seems to work well for me as a lot of girls are insecure.
I would (just for the fun of it to see how it goes) try being more direct with women and have good eye contact. Read up on body language, lots of good stuff on this site, and don't try too hard with the girls, you aren't trying to MAKE them like you, you are trying to see if they are cool people you wouldn't mind hanging out with again. You like their physical looks BUT you still need to know she has a matching personality before you are in it to get together again.
WAY BETTER RESULTS. Looks at all the things that are awesome about you and realize how lucky she would be to be able to hang out with you.
I would (just for the fun of it to see how it goes) try being more direct with women and have good eye contact. Read up on body language, lots of good stuff on this site, and don't try too hard with the girls, you aren't trying to MAKE them like you, you are trying to see if they are cool people you wouldn't mind hanging out with again. You like their physical looks BUT you still need to know she has a matching personality before you are in it to get together again.
WAY BETTER RESULTS. Looks at all the things that are awesome about you and realize how lucky she would be to be able to hang out with you.
It's interesting that I hear Mystery method and Espi here saying one can get lots of milage by telling a women they are gay (i.e. if I were not gay, I would be so into you). The reason for that, is naturally, if you are gay, then you are not a threat to a girl and she can lower her shields a bit.
Some guys even go to a woman and tell her that he's gay and would like to grope her, and I read (third-hand information), that most women in public let a gay guy grope her, again, either to help his "gayness", or he can't get sexual pleasure from that anyway.
So, with all of this stuff showing that gay guys probably have it easier in comforting, or breaking down shields from women, I find it hard to believe if women really believe this guy is gay that they would walk away as that is counter-intuitive from all the stuff that I've seen on here.
Some guys even go to a woman and tell her that he's gay and would like to grope her, and I read (third-hand information), that most women in public let a gay guy grope her, again, either to help his "gayness", or he can't get sexual pleasure from that anyway.
So, with all of this stuff showing that gay guys probably have it easier in comforting, or breaking down shields from women, I find it hard to believe if women really believe this guy is gay that they would walk away as that is counter-intuitive from all the stuff that I've seen on here.
Borknagar
Master Don Juan
I gotta give you props for still going out there, If I wasn't getting anywhere ever I would have stopped by now. Maybe try and relocate to a larger city, and give nightgame a shot? night game in funner anyway/ Day game is kinda boring and usually pointless.
TheRedLion
New Member
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2011
- Messages
- 5
- Reaction score
- 0
there might not be anything wrong with you.
girls are always rejecting and in danger of getting a **** stuck up their sweet holes. so you are just another ****.
dont approach in a manner as to get some.
find something interesting or something that stands out, to them.
a girl wearing green shirt green skirt green shoes for example could be opened as such.
"i'm guessing you like green"
make it friendly, relax, gauge their INTEREST on the conversation, make them laugh, and end it up with " hey i gotta go but you are actually cooler than you look, give me your number and maybe we could hang out sometime"
or something of the sort
be relax, you dont have to say everything right, take the pressure off your shoulders, have fun, ***** will come if you get them to CHASE YOU.
but in order to get CHASED, you need to OPEN THE DOOR AN DO YOUR JOB AS A MAN, and that is do the chasing.
lack of interest is just that LACK of interest, its hard to GET SOME ONE TO LIKE YOU, find the ones THAT ALREADY LIKE YOU by reading body language.
girls are always rejecting and in danger of getting a **** stuck up their sweet holes. so you are just another ****.
dont approach in a manner as to get some.
find something interesting or something that stands out, to them.
a girl wearing green shirt green skirt green shoes for example could be opened as such.
"i'm guessing you like green"
make it friendly, relax, gauge their INTEREST on the conversation, make them laugh, and end it up with " hey i gotta go but you are actually cooler than you look, give me your number and maybe we could hang out sometime"
or something of the sort
be relax, you dont have to say everything right, take the pressure off your shoulders, have fun, ***** will come if you get them to CHASE YOU.
but in order to get CHASED, you need to OPEN THE DOOR AN DO YOUR JOB AS A MAN, and that is do the chasing.
lack of interest is just that LACK of interest, its hard to GET SOME ONE TO LIKE YOU, find the ones THAT ALREADY LIKE YOU by reading body language.
Relocating to a city will be a while from now. But it could be sooner than I think as long as I get my job applications in. If I lived somewhere like Nashville, I would do Day and Night Game. Until then, I get to focus on doing day game on women that are most likely taken, and traveling to local cities to do day game(a couple universities nearby). I think I'm going to start going direct with all my daytime approaches now for a little while and see how it goes. Some unique situations I've encountered need direct game, like women at gas pumps, women at the checkout lane, and women getting to-go buffet. Going indirect in a small town all the time is damn near impossible. I read Roosh V's book Bang(very helpful), and while I admit it's good for most situations, there are a few that aren't covered that are unique to certain locations. No way am I asking for directions on a street approach here. lolBorknagar said:
Lol. I went direct today(Hi, I think you're cute) and it worked much better. Reaction and everything. I didn't get the number because she had a boyfriend though, but I tried to close after 10 seconds(she was in line lol) which is a new thing for me. I'm going to keep using direct openers.Alien said:
Maybe you reek of desperation. Maybe you're too emotional (you say you're bubbly). So what if you're built like a bruiser? Lots of gay males are buff. It's important to 1) be a man and 2) be a desireless man. That's pretty much all you need for approaches to work. Just go up to a woman and say hi. If it doesn't work, you need to seriously sit down and ask yourself why because honestly, no one here can help you. We don't know you.
I did bars a little when I was at college. I didn't do so hot there either. I could always go back to my former college town and do some bar game soon.Borknagar said:
But, I got laid for the first time tonight, so now I realize I can start getting laid with different women more often. It was just my firat time hanging out with a girl from my high school. I'm going direct in my daytime cold approaches from here on out most likely.
escaleraroyal
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2008
- Messages
- 561
- Reaction score
- 43
you should never focus on sex....
Domo_Arigatoo
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2011
- Messages
- 86
- Reaction score
- 4
I think what you're doing wrong is perhaps low-risk approaches. Cold approaching girls with lines such as:
"Hi, what's your name?"
"Excuse me, how often do you come here?"
"Hello, (weenie compliment)"
Usually end in a crash and burn.
Try a high risk approach, grabbing her arm as she walks by and saying something bold, Yell, "STOP" at her, then walk up and tell her to sit down (if there's a bench in the vicinity), etc.
Surprisingly, around 80% of the time the girl will listen to what you demand, if you seem like you know what you're doing. Do it with confidence and don't ever regret your decision or apologize.
- Props to Tyler Dirden
"Hi, what's your name?"
"Excuse me, how often do you come here?"
"Hello, (weenie compliment)"
Usually end in a crash and burn.
Try a high risk approach, grabbing her arm as she walks by and saying something bold, Yell, "STOP" at her, then walk up and tell her to sit down (if there's a bench in the vicinity), etc.
Surprisingly, around 80% of the time the girl will listen to what you demand, if you seem like you know what you're doing. Do it with confidence and don't ever regret your decision or apologize.
- Props to Tyler Dirden
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Keep in mind that the law defines battery as "unwanted touching." You might be able to get away with a gentle arm pull on a drunk girl in a club, but I wouldn't do it anywhere else. To be fair, I did have a friend once who just stood in the club where people walked by and pawed at the shoulder of every hot girl who walked by. I thought he was nuts, but it worked for him. He was, however, physically very frail and non-menacing.
In regard to why the OP's approaches are not working, I think the answer is simply that the girl knows it's an approach. Don't be so obvious. You think you aren't, but I'm sure you are. Take the "hb" number of any girl, multiply it by ten, and that is the % of strange guys who start talking to her that she disqualifies immediately as creepy weirdos who just want sex.
What makes cold approaching so hard is that you don't have a damn thing in common with a random girl, so she knows that you must just want sex. That's why the few cold approaches that work are conversations that immediately establish common ground, and a reason to talk later. Obviously, you just want to do her, but women always need to pretend it's something more. Even when they just want sex too, they still want to lie to themselves, and more importantly their friends, by saying it's a real relationship. Giving out their number to strangers does not foster that lie.
So you have to make yourself someone who's not a stranger, and it all goes back to having something in common. It can be done with a conversation, but having a common friend together, a class together, often unfortunately a job together - those are the situations that create relationships.
In regard to why the OP's approaches are not working, I think the answer is simply that the girl knows it's an approach. Don't be so obvious. You think you aren't, but I'm sure you are. Take the "hb" number of any girl, multiply it by ten, and that is the % of strange guys who start talking to her that she disqualifies immediately as creepy weirdos who just want sex.
What makes cold approaching so hard is that you don't have a damn thing in common with a random girl, so she knows that you must just want sex. That's why the few cold approaches that work are conversations that immediately establish common ground, and a reason to talk later. Obviously, you just want to do her, but women always need to pretend it's something more. Even when they just want sex too, they still want to lie to themselves, and more importantly their friends, by saying it's a real relationship. Giving out their number to strangers does not foster that lie.
So you have to make yourself someone who's not a stranger, and it all goes back to having something in common. It can be done with a conversation, but having a common friend together, a class together, often unfortunately a job together - those are the situations that create relationships.
Last edited: