Why Do Men Die First?

[NewMike]

Thought this was kinda relevant yet funny

-Mike

Why Do Men Die First?

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries ...... but, now we
know.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race...
you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework...you're a pansy.

If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay.....
you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her.....that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you......it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet..........it's male indifference.

If you cry.............you're a wimp.
If you don't........you're an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her.........you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you......she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy....... that's domination.

If SHE asks you..........it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear......you're a
pervert.
If you don't..............you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape.......you're sexist.
If you don't.................you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape................you're vain.
If you don't................you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers.............you're after something.
If you don't.....................you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements.........you're full of yourself.
If you don't....................you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache............she's tired.
If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often.........you're oversexed.
If you don't................there must be someone else.

Men die first because they want to.

 

[Derek Flint]

Q: Why do Men pay more for car insurance than Women?

A: Because Women don't get BJ's while they're driving.

 

[WestCoaster]

Women have it set up for a can't-win situation

As much as I enjoy women, enjoy their company, enjoy looking at their bodies, their smiles, and hearing some of their unique takes on life -- this stuff is awful and they have it completely set up against men.

Just watch TV sometime and every guy in every sitcom or drama is a bumbling idiot, while the woman is a successful, beautiful, educated business woman. The guy can do NOTHING right. It's frickin' insane.

I saw a trailer for one sit-com and though it's kind of funny, it's also brutal. Apparently this couple has sex and afterwards the guy tells the gal he loves her. She says, "Oh you had to ruin it, huh?" Insert canned laughter.

A true hetero DJ writer would've had the guy laugh in the woman's face and say I gotta go, I got a gal waiting for me downtown. Instead the guy takes it. It's insane.

Yep, it's all set up against the man.

 

[SamePendo]

Ok, I will release a MAJOR joke I MADE UP!
BUT, I will release it in 30 minutes.
(its about why men die first).


Hmmm, just remembered, its in spanish, and cant be translated to be funny... but, ill release it anyway, just in case you guys need to use it at a given situation.

 

[DarkfalconIV]

Once again another reason I will never again keep women as more than a platonic friend or a ****buddy.

Me= No relationships

 

[PlayerinTraining]

You might like this book The Manipulated Man

Hey,

Great post. I've come to these unfortunate conclusions as I try to understand my success and failures with women.

It's as if a guy must walk a tightrope between tall buildings during a hurricane in order to please them, and that lasts only for a short time.

You should do a search for someone named Esther Vilar and her book _The Manipulated Man._ The book was written in the early 70's, and some of her observations were actually prophecies of today's climate between males and females.

When she wrote the book, it caused an outrage among feminists--so much so that she received death threats!

The basic thesis, feminists don't want equality, they want the benefits of traditional female roles, the option offered by modern society, but none of the responsibilities. Any attempt to hold women responsible for their choices is looked upon as "mysoginist".

Any books that make feminists want to kill someone is something I want to read!. I was fortunate to get a used copy of the book (it's VERY hard to find), and it is definitely worth a look.

I think a few chapters of her book are on the web somewhere.

 

[SamePendo]

Ok: the joke:

Porque se mueren los hombres antes que las mujeres?

Porque las gatas tienen 7 vidas!!!

 

[MetalFortress]

Yo piensé que gatos tienen 9 vidas.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by SamePendo
Ok: the joke:

Porque se mueren los hombres antes que las mujeres?

Porque las gatas tienen 7 vidas!!!

Trans:

Q: Why do men die before women?
A: 'Cos pu$$ies have 9 lives!!!

Hmmm, right....


(IronGirevik correctly interjects that they have 9, not 7)

 

[racerX]

Because men have to work there butts off to buy babes stuff they want, so we can get tasty pvssy. Also, men work longer hours & have more stress & thats why they die younger.

 

[white_hype]

the real answer is because of war...

the fact that mean die before women is based on an average and when you think about it only lesbos fight in wars and what.. there is mayve 100 chicks in a dam war and all they do is get in the way while millions of men die, also because men's bodies go through a lot more physical demand, i.e sports, heavy drinking, eating bad foods, eating a lot, whereas women dont tend to attain that high level

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by white_hype
the real answer is because of war...

the fact that mean die before women is based on an average and when you think about it only lesbos fight in wars and what.. there is mayve 100 chicks in a dam war and all they do is get in the way while millions of men die, also because men's bodies go through a lot more physical demand, i.e sports, heavy drinking, eating bad foods, eating a lot, whereas women dont tend to attain that high level

no offense but WTF

heres my theory (well me and a few million peoples theory)
EJACULATION
yes thats right, everytime you ejaculate your losing your precious essence.
and womens orgasms are internal so they keep their essence, and aswell as receiving the mans.

 

[white_hype]

what do you mean wtf? it makes perfect sense and i am right, whereas you are wrong

nice try though

 

[( . )( . )]

i mean exactly that, wtf.
your the guy who try to say you cummed 31 times in 10 hours didnt you?
maybe you actually believe every man in the world is fighting in a war.
or that women are better eaters than men, but i dont.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by white_hype
what do you mean wtf? it makes perfect sense and i am right, whereas you are wrong

nice try though

It mocks sense, and you are wrong.

Because 45252452, that's why.

 

[SamePendo]

Originally posted by Oscar Wilde
Trans:

Q: Why do men die before women?
A: 'Cos pu$$ies have 9 lives!!!

Hmmm, right....


(IronGirevik correctly interjects that they have 9, not 7)

Haha, I wasnt sure if they were 7, 9, or 13!
Thanks! Now I can tell my joke to all english speakers!

 

[Desire me]

because we work most of the life that we have to live. and by time we dont have to anymore, our bodies are jacked up and we die from working hard and taking care of other people and not ourself. Peace.

 

[SamePendo]

Originally posted by Oscar Wilde
Trans:

Q: Why do men die before women?
A: 'Cos pu$$ies have 9 lives!!!

Hmmm, right....


(IronGirevik correctly interjects that they have 9, not 7)

Haha, I wasnt sure if they were 7, 9, or 13!
Thanks! Now I can tell my joke to all english speakers!