Why can't I ever get with good looking women?

[Robert28]

I think what kills a lot of guys confidence more then anything is not really getting turned down by a girl, but when we see who that same girl has dated or banged and you think "I'm way better looking then that goofy fvck, wth??" Think about it, would you feel better about yourself knowing that she bangs/dates nothing but Brad Pitt types, or learning that she banged the overweight cook that works at Waffle House, makes $8 an hour and drives a '92 beat up Corolla and lives in a beat up single-wide trailer? I can handle being picked over for a guy I know is better then me looks wise and has a higher value, it's the nature of the beast. What really kicks me in the balls is knowing a guy who is MUCH lesser in value and looks got the puzzy that just turned me down. I mean we can sit here and say that all the hot girls are banging the top 10% of the guys, and yeah the absolute HOTTEST are, but not the random cute girl who you think would be nice to take home to mom and dad. Nope, she's banging, has banged, or will bang the most goofiest looking fvcker you've ever seen. I see it far too often to think it's just a myth. It messes with your head trust me. You workout 3-5 times a week, have a good job, blah blah blah, only to get beat out by some guy who you know you are better than. Yeah the girl might have sh!t for confidence and not be worthy to date long-term, but the fact remains, you wanted to hit it and can't.

 

[_sideways_]

Or.....you should be asking, why should a hot babe want to bang me? Then it changes ur whole out look....now u r projecting ur best traits and fvck what everyone else may think.maybe that's why the fat guy who makes less than you is banging her. He already beat you subconsciously and is playing the game better. But it happens....you can have two kings and you lose to two 5s at poker cuz u got out played, didn't have the necessary confidence in ur hand, so the dude that plays a great game no matter what he has will out shine you. And it shouldn't make u mad that fatty got the hotie. Good for him...we r all bros. Ain't no fun if the homie can't get none. Just think about all the reasons she should want to bang you and build on that. Your own game is just beginning, not ending.

 

[skinnyguy]

Being superficial will get you no where. Until you stop desiring women you'll never be happy. Sorry bro.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I don't think balding is that bad as long as you are in decent shape, take care of yourself and have confidence. Half of my friends are bald or balding and they get better looking chicks then I do. I see bad guys with cute girls quite frequently in Chicago actually. When I first started losing my hair and I was in better shape I had women come up to me. Own your baldness, Mindset is King

 

[skinnyguy]

I think what kills a lot of guys confidence more then anything is not really getting turned down by a girl, but when we see who that same girl has dated or banged and you think "I'm way better looking then that goofy fvck, wth??" Think about it, would you feel better about yourself knowing that she bangs/dates nothing but Brad Pitt types, or learning that she banged the overweight cook that works at Waffle House, makes $8 an hour and drives a '92 beat up Corolla and lives in a beat up single-wide trailer? I can handle being picked over for a guy I know is better then me looks wise and has a higher value, it's the nature of the beast. What really kicks me in the balls is knowing a guy who is MUCH lesser in value and looks got the puzzy that just turned me down. I mean we can sit here and say that all the hot girls are banging the top 10% of the guys, and yeah the absolute HOTTEST are, but not the random cute girl who you think would be nice to take home to mom and dad. Nope, she's banging, has banged, or will bang the most goofiest looking fvcker you've ever seen. I see it far too often to think it's just a myth. It messes with your head trust me. You workout 3-5 times a week, have a good job, blah blah blah, only to get beat out by some guy who you know you are better than. Yeah the girl might have sh!t for confidence and not be worthy to date long-term, but the fact remains, you wanted to hit it and can't.

Great post. I'm highly educated, have my own place, make more than most guys and yet I have trouble getting an HB 5. It's almost as if some losers can get it without even trying while guys like me have to work out 5 hours day, use game, and spend thousands on clothes just to get an average girl.

 

[bigneil]

As men, our rating can be derived from the average rating of the women we have had (unpaid) sex with, minus about .5 as a gender normalizing factor (women trade up).

So if you've been with 10 girls who are a rating of 8, you are probably an 8.5.

If you're a virgin, you have no idea what your rating is. We all tend to overrate ourselves. But our rating is not static. We can raise it through diet and exercise, especially through herbal fasting. Poop a gallon and you will look better, trust me.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

those type of women have loads of options(while they are young mainly, especially late teens and early 20's, or just throughout 20's and to some extent their early 30's), so you probably need to be more Alpha or it's just a case of beggars can't be choosers

 

[DJDeMarco]

Shave the head. Do it. NOW.

Work out 4 times a week and do cardio with those days at least 3 times. Stop drinking beer. Do vodka sodas. Set a weight goal and stick to it. Also don't stuff your face over the holidays. Get a tan. Ask chicks what facial hair they like on you and grow it out or shave it. Don't eat WHITE crap (rice, pasta, potatoes, bread). Don't eat that shvt if you're trying to cut and lose weight.

New clothes are huge. They instill confidence. HAVE A WOMAN PICK THEM OUT WITH YOU! Don't assume you have good taste. Get a gal pal to come with you and help. Wait until you've lost the weight.

Dont be needy. Women can see it in your face. They're just effing chicks. They take fat craps just like you do... and they've had value put upon them JUST for being hot... which is going to fade fast and leaves most of them in tears in despair.

A friend of mine used to focus on the least attractive part of the gal he was talking to like her nose or whatever. Helps take her off the pedestal.

Chicks dont know who Fedor is. Remember that. Meet hb's at clubs bars and through friends for now. When you do land one and you will dont get wrapped up in them if they are obviously crazy. Keep at it and set up a pipeline of chicks. Stay detached and ready to walk at repeated signs of BS even in an LTR. They're disposable not indespensible.

Listen to me or not. I pull tons of hot women. I am considered better looking than some but believe me there are plenty of good looking guys that don't get shvt. They don't validate your existence. You need to work on that. You do. Your dreams. What you do for others. Make a list of goals and how you're going to get there.

That's attractive. A man that has accomplished things and wants to accomplish MORE.

Sounds good. I did shave my head, and I've been bald the past couple months. Still struggling with women, but I'm trying to get to the root of my problems. A few things I noted:
1.A lot of the way I feel about myself comes from external sources.
2. I've relied on external forces(friends, family) to "allow" me to have fun in social situations by setting me up for it. It was hard for me to take a chance and make my own fun with people, which I'm now trying to do.
3. I feel negative thoughts before talking to women, but I try to keep it positive. Most times, that's been working.
4. I'm trying to take chances and tease women about things in a funny way and I'm trying to embrace my darker side and be a little less nice overall, while still being a good person.
5. My personality has been described as goofy for years, so it's been a struggle to be myself and improve that self with women.
6. I like women for excitement and validation, it makes me feel good. I just want to get laid for the most part. I'm dehumanizing them a bit.

Ok, I've looked deep inside and those are my some of my problems other than almost always getting rejected with women. I've believed I can be good with women, but hasn't worked in the long run.

Another example is when I've gotten a phone number from a cute girl I want to bang. I text her, planning in my head the lead-up to the hangout session. Then she isn't very responsive in texts, and I think to myself "I need to be a strong person and forget her', but that doesn't make me happy. So I text her again, give her another chance, and it doesn't work out. So it's all frustration because I don't get to bang this girl.

 

[LeonSK]

four weeks before getting number -- you were trying way to hard and at the same time wasted a lot of time. I would do it day one I met her, if no success, move on.

 

[Odisseo]

I don't know your age edit: 25 so no issue there. I don't think your height is the real problem, but 205 sounds way too heavy at that height unless you're lean and buff at that weight.

I think your main problem is balding. I know ratings are subjective but if you're rating yourself as only a 5-6,with balding I'm surprised you can get any girls let alone attractive ones.

Balding is a huge attraction killer with women. It really shouldn't be but it is. It's actually amazing how universal it kills attraction. It appears to be as bad as say missing teeth and having a gapping smile I imagine. About the only guys that can pull it off is guys with shaved heads that are very handsome and masculine guys. Even then it eliminates a lot of their options, and I suspect a lot of them are playing LTR/personality/social circle game where there's some compensation for looks more than in pick up.

I believe to pick up any girls HB1-5s you need to be about a M5-6. To pick up attractive girls HB6-9 you generally need to be a M7-9 and/or have some kind of status gimmick.


I would recommend trying the shaved head look or improving your hair some how.

Hahahha and this is supposed to be good advice? His problem is that he's balding, out of all the things he said???

 

[Mike32ct]

I don't think the shaved head works for everyone. Some guys look better with a buzz or with some hair (maybe cut short).

The other thing is that the shaved head (or any look) has to fit your personality. The OP describes his personality as goofy. When women see a shaved a head, they think bada$s.

 

[_sideways_]

You think girls are whining about having small boobs?

 

[Odisseo]

I don't think the shaved head works for everyone. Some guys look better with a buzz or with some hair (maybe cut short).

The other thing is that the shaved head (or any look) has to fit your personality. The OP describes his personality as goofy. When women see a shaved a head, they think bada$s.

Yeah but isn't being a Dj supposed to mean being able to overcome these "obstacles".

There's lots of guysnwithnanfull head if hair out there who never get laid

 

[marmel75]

LOL, so not true. Women will open it up for the biggest toads ever.

Its like a football game...the average dudes have to dink and dunk their way down the field to score...15 plays, 95 yards...its hard to score like that...so many chances for something to go wrong on any one of those plays...fumble, interception, have to punt, settle for a field goal, turn it over on downs, etc, lol...

Good looking guys are able to strike quick, like an 80 yard bomb...

Basically what I am saying is good looking guys can do a lot of things wrong, and still get the girl to f**k them cause she thinks they are hot...the girl will give you her number without you asking for it...she will invite you over to her house without ever going on a date, she will do all the stuff she says she won't do(ie, have sex really quickly, have you at her house, sexting, etc) with a guy she wants. She will completely go for any type of sexting or sex talk with a guy she considers hot...she will send nude pics to guys she thinks are hot without you asking for them...

Hot women many times turn into annoying AFC's with guys they want...they will constantly text/message you if you don;t reply back...they send boring texts, they hint that you should "come over" or "give them a chance", they would rather walk 5 miles to the meeting place than flake or tell you just "stop by" instead, they will never be busy if you ask what their schedules are like, they will even beg you in a round about or not so round about way for sex...

None of this stuff will they do with a guy they don't find very good looking---they will get "offended" at the same type of sexting messages, when with a good looking guy they will totally go with it...they will not respond to texts or emails, they will flake on dates, etc...

So no matter how much game you have if you are average, you are still at a disadvantage to a really good looking guy before he even does anything because they can do just about anything and still win. Just the way it is.

 

[DJDeMarco]

I don't think the shaved head works for everyone. Some guys look better with a buzz or with some hair (maybe cut short).

The other thing is that the shaved head (or any look) has to fit your personality. The OP describes his personality as goofy. When women see a shaved a head, they think bada$s.

I think the bald head will work better. I used to have balding spiky hair, which didn't look so good.

 

[synergy1]

Because you aren't as attractive as you think you are, your status isn't as good as you think it is, and women don't find you as attractive. Its a very difficult thing to digest, and for many men its too much. If you are normal guy, you will likely date mostly women below you in "looks" ( whatever scale you chose to follow), or occasionally one close to you. Very rarely you can date above your scale but this is a combination of game and some luck.


Sounds like to me the OP needs to work on all aspects of game - attractiveness, status, and game itself. Unless you are at the gym 6 days a week tearing it up, 200 lbs is chubby at worst, average at best. Standing right beside me, you'd be a distant second place if a chick had to make a choice on that lone. Status, not sure about your personal life but that just comes with time and patience. Lastly if you want to date even at or above your current level, you'll have to work on being funny/whitty/someone a women would want to be with.

Sounds harsh, but without improving in those basic areas you will continue to date what you are dating. Its an ongoing process that takes time. Lay out an action plan and get to it! today!

 

[senorslacker4shoa]

True dat...

 

[Bwana]

Shave your head. grow a goatee. Create an original look. I know many guys that don't look great but created a unique image that really worked for them. Make what you don't like about your looks in to an asset by appearing that it is intentional and you will get more confidence. Keep working out and it will pay dividends in the future as one of the best investments you can ever make.

 

[NEPA]

To date good looking women, you have to be good looking guy, simple as that.

Not this. Confidence man. If you successful make it be know but don't blow your horn. It all depends on how you hold yourself. Be nice but not a kiss ass. Don't be afraid to disagree. Compliments are good but so are subtle insults. I'm decent looking but big sexy and I've landed a few good looking women. Been out of the game for a while tho so I'm rusty.

 

[sambwoy]

Because for some their expectations can be totally unrealistic. They can also be very rude.
I figured the guys that girls idolise tend to be Hollywood stars who just are in a place where genetically and with access to gym et al they are advantaged. When I saw the 'Ryan Reynolds workout plan' advertised on (I think) Ask Men I was thinking that's not realistic for your average UK guy.

I had to put up with girls' cr@p complaining whenever they looked at everyday guys doing s**ty jobs like bricklayer or highway worker and openly but indirectly insult them ('why are they all old and ugly?'), or some who openly insult someone else's dress sense (again from experience). If they dress like the actresses on TV, that's already a bad sign.

Meanwhile, they deprive and shame your average guy of possessing or using any kind of outlet for sexual relief (e.g. masturbation, the magazines you look at etc), whilst misandry seems to be on the rise.

As an aspergers I gathered quite early that a well-dressed socially adept Playmate-looking babe will not be frequenting my special needs college anytime soon. Why? Because stereotyping determines that mentally ill people are ugly.