"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for FREE?"

[STR8UP]

Ahhh....the shaming words.....

I posted this on another thread in the AE forum but I thought it deserves a topic of its own.....

This brings to mind those infamous shaming words women use on men-

"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

How one sided, hypocritical, and SEXIST can you get?

Women have been calling men out for being "sexist" for a long time now, yet a double standard exists that does not allow men to call women out for being the hypocritical fukks that they are when it comes to stuff like this.

Think about these words for a minute.

Essentially what a woman is saying is that she expects you to "buy the cow" (marry her....fitting term) because if you DON"T then she is "giving the milk away for free".

Lets examine the "giving away the milk for free" thing for a minute.

Here, not only is a woman ADMITTING to something that most vehemently deny (sex is an economic exchange where a woman gives up her pu$$y for some other form of benefit), but it is also implying that you as a man aren't bringing anything to the table unless you commit to marriage.

Pretty insulting, if you ask me.

I don't know about anyone else, but I have lived with a few different women, and I can tell you right now that most of the time you split the bills, split the chores, etc. If anything the man usually pays more than his share.

Even if you aren't living together, it's usually the man who ends up paying more than his share, if it isn't 50/50.

So whats this "getting free milk" business? Free would imply that there was some form of inequity between the exchange, that the woman wasn't getting value for what she is putting in.

SO what exactly ARE women saying here? They won't come out directly and say it, but what they are implying is that marriage is their "payday" for giving up the pu$$y.

If this is the case I'm proud so have looted the coffers of many a woman in my day.

 

[Mr. Me]

"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

How one sided, hypocritical, and SEXIST can you get?

I do believe that adage is also used by men to explain why there's no need to marry the chick.

But in any event, this expression came from a time long ago when people customarily looked to get married, and it was considered advice for single young ladies to help improve their odds at landing a guy.

Nowadays, we're so f#cking over sensitive about words that women see that age old expression and think it's literally comparing women to cows.

If you want to get furious over a sexist, one sided expression, try the newer female version of that expression: "why buy the pig just to get the sausage".

 

[STR8UP]

I don't think I have ever heard a man say that, but if I had it wouldn't hold the same connotation. In that case it would be nothing but a joke about how you SHOULDN'T "buy the cow" because not only do you get a COW, but you also have all of the sh!t that comes along with it, including the ability of the cow to walk away with half of your farm.

 

[Deep Dish]

STR8UP,

The phrase "Why buy the cow when you milk it for free?" aren't shame words used by women. It is solely of the domain of men (and yes, I have heard many guys use the phrase). The only context in which the phrase could be shame words is the scenario in which a woman reverses the question upon a non-committal man, by rhetorically asking with a sarcastic tone "Oh, so that's what you believe? 'Why buy the cow when you milk it for free?'"

I'm not quite sure why you decided to make the phrase into its own thread, but what I found more interesting in the marriage thread to focus upon is how some men such as Fuzzx use the shaming tactics of women, on the behalf of women, to shame men.

 

[STR8UP]

STR8UP,

The phrase "Why buy the cow when you milk it for free?" aren't shame words used by women. It is solely of the domain of men (and yes, I have heard many guys use the phrase). The only context in which the phrase could be shame words is the scenario in which a woman reverses the question upon a non-committal man, by rhetorically asking with a sarcastic tone "Oh, so that's what you believe? 'Why buy the cow when you milk it for free?'"

I can't remember any man I know having ever used those words. I don't doubt that a man might say them, because although not technically accurate (nothing in life is free, and most relationships I know of are a fairly equal exchange) they serve as a warning to men that there is indeed no reason to "buy the cow".

I HAVE, on the other hand, heard several women use this phrase when discussing men and their "fear of commitment". I have even had a couple of girlfriends use it on me when the subject of marriage came up.

I'm not quite sure why you decided to make the phrase into its own thread,

Because regardless of where it originated, it illustrates a couple of important points.

 

[ketostix]

I have often heard men use the term, "why buy the cow, when the milk is free". In a way it could be considered a shaming tool in the sense that men are shaming themselves or self-shaming because it's based on the mistaken premise that unless you buy (marry) the woman you are getting the sex for free, as if nothing else about a male has value. Now, the intent might be: marrying a woman is providing value to a woman and her main value is sex, but why get married if you can have sex without marrying her. But still the wording is based upon the idea that a woman's sex has value that normally is paid for.

what I found more interesting in the marriage thread to focus upon is how some men such as Fuzzx use the shaming tactics of women, on the behalf of women, to shame men.

(Edit: I just read fuzzx's post for the first time, and I'm not saying I agree or diagree with him or think he is shaming men with female tacts. I'm talking in general here.) This is similar to what I was getting at. But this also brings up another topic and one that is a significant one. When you think about it women only have the power that men collectively allow women to have. When women hold an advantage, shame, or domineer over males it requires the collaboration of males. Many men will grasp at anything to use as a weapon against other males whether it's females and their shaming tactics, "minority rights", or whatever and vice versa (women use men and the other things as a weapon against other men).

My view for a long time is that it's not just women striving against men, it's men striving against each other too. Your average male is being attacked from both fronts. While women may be competitive, they have much more solidarity among the sisterhood than males have.

 

[Nutz]

While I like the deconstruction in how you pulled out the value and meaning behind it, that phrase is often something guys say to justify not needing to get married. I'm seen women say things that have the sentiment you pulled out of it though.

What are some shaming phrases women use where the stuff he pulled out of it does apply more frequently?

 

[STR8UP]

I must be the only guy who has heard women say this!

Seriously....I thought it was a shaming phrase that women used and men borrowed, but it looks like it's the other way around!

I have had at least two girlfriends say this to me that I can recall, and I'm pretty sure I have heard it from other women as well although I can't recall specific examples.

In any case, women DO say it and when they do it is in a shaming context.

 

[Nutz]

I must be the only guy who has heard women say this!

Seriously....I thought it was a shaming phrase that women used and men borrowed, but it looks like it's the other way around!

I have had at least two girlfriends say this to me that I can recall, and I'm pretty sure I have heard it from other women as well although I can't recall specific examples.

In any case, women DO say it and when they do it is in a shaming context.

I know what you're saying. It's usually in a context meaning "all you want/care about is sex".

 

[Truman181]

I don't think I have ever heard a man say that, but if I had it wouldn't hold the same connotation. In that case it would be nothing but a joke about how you SHOULDN'T "buy the cow" because not only do you get a COW, but you also have all of the sh!t that comes along with it, including the ability of the cow to walk away with half of your farm.

I say that all the time because I'm proud of the fact that I'm not settling down anytime soon.

Never in my life have I heard a woman say it the way you're talking about.

 

[Truman181]

I must be the only guy who has heard women say this!

Seriously....I thought it was a shaming phrase that women used and men borrowed, but it looks like it's the other way around!

I have had at least two girlfriends say this to me that I can recall, and I'm pretty sure I have heard it from other women as well although I can't recall specific examples.

If women are saying it is because they have picked it up from men. It sounds like something an AW would say trying to feel empowered that yes, women are players too now.

 

[STR8UP]

If women are saying it is because they have picked it up from men. It sounds like something an AW would say trying to feel empowered that yes, women are players too now.

Nonono..... when a woman says this she says it in a mocking way, like "that's how men think and it's wrong", not like "Why should I marry a guy when I can get what I want from him anyway".

Now I am seeing exactly how this originated. It WAS started by men. A quick google search shows that it originated way back when by men. But nowadays WOMEN use it as a shaming tool. They say it as if the man benefits and the woman gets used if a relationship continues for any length of time but doesn't result in marriage.

 

[Truman181]

Nonono..... when a woman says this she says it in a mocking way, like "that's how men think and it's wrong", not like "Why should I marry a guy when I can get what I want from him anyway".

On the other hand, I've heard women say something like...."why buy the pig when I can get the sausage for free?" - something like that anyway. While it's true that some women are using shaming tactics like you describe others are at the same time using our 'catch phrases' to justify being hors.