Today i lost two friends. Both of them were girls, but i wasn't trying to game either of them. I was just friends. This one girl had a crush on one of my friends to the point of obsession, and my bud didn't like her, so i finally told her, "(Friend) doesn't like you at all. It isn't because he doesn't want a boyfriend. It's because you annoy him. He doesn't even like you a little." Apparently i made her cry.
This next girl is a person i was better friends with. She's a really cool person, and I like her alot, although not in a sexual way. Anyways, we both knew a mutual person. This kid who she is friends with is a kid my church helped out during christmas. This kid's family was homeless, and everyone at my church other than me ostracized him. I was really nice to him, and I gave him my cell phone number and everything. I thought that we were at least aquaintances.
This past week, the girl finds out that i knew her friend. Her friend doesn't talk to me at all everytime i try to message him on facebook just to see how he's doing, and the girl tells me it's because, "He doesn't like me because i remind him of a bad time in his life." This really bothered me. Why wouldn't he like me? I was really kind to him, and i actually treated him like a person while my church friends treated him like dirt, and so me and the girl get into it about this, and she calls me insensitive because i don't even try to relate what he's gone through. So i tell her "i hate her because she reminds me of a bad time in my life." and she goes on to call me an *******, and to never talk to her again.
Why do i take things too far? That girl actually told me to be more like my best friend because he's a better person than me. I'm better than my friend at a lot of things though. He's even told me he's jealous that I'm so smart, and that he wishes he was as smart as me, and he's done morally wrong things too like smoking weed and drinking; while i've never even considered it. Why is he a better person than me? Why am I a bad person. Why do i toy with people's emotions just because i can? I really want to become a better person. I"m sick of losing friends because of the way I am. I'm really actually feeling the full effect right now. I always morally justified my wrongdoings to myself and i got over it, but this time it's different.
I also realized today that even though my friends are better people than me, i'll be a more successful person than them. My friends might not even get into college, while I'll get to go almost anywhere. I'm smarter than almost everyone i know, and I'm also a worse person.
Are bad people really the most successful? Because, i'd rather be a good person than a successful bad person.
This next girl is a person i was better friends with. She's a really cool person, and I like her alot, although not in a sexual way. Anyways, we both knew a mutual person. This kid who she is friends with is a kid my church helped out during christmas. This kid's family was homeless, and everyone at my church other than me ostracized him. I was really nice to him, and I gave him my cell phone number and everything. I thought that we were at least aquaintances.
This past week, the girl finds out that i knew her friend. Her friend doesn't talk to me at all everytime i try to message him on facebook just to see how he's doing, and the girl tells me it's because, "He doesn't like me because i remind him of a bad time in his life." This really bothered me. Why wouldn't he like me? I was really kind to him, and i actually treated him like a person while my church friends treated him like dirt, and so me and the girl get into it about this, and she calls me insensitive because i don't even try to relate what he's gone through. So i tell her "i hate her because she reminds me of a bad time in my life." and she goes on to call me an *******, and to never talk to her again.
Why do i take things too far? That girl actually told me to be more like my best friend because he's a better person than me. I'm better than my friend at a lot of things though. He's even told me he's jealous that I'm so smart, and that he wishes he was as smart as me, and he's done morally wrong things too like smoking weed and drinking; while i've never even considered it. Why is he a better person than me? Why am I a bad person. Why do i toy with people's emotions just because i can? I really want to become a better person. I"m sick of losing friends because of the way I am. I'm really actually feeling the full effect right now. I always morally justified my wrongdoings to myself and i got over it, but this time it's different.
I also realized today that even though my friends are better people than me, i'll be a more successful person than them. My friends might not even get into college, while I'll get to go almost anywhere. I'm smarter than almost everyone i know, and I'm also a worse person.
Are bad people really the most successful? Because, i'd rather be a good person than a successful bad person.