Who is making it work?

[The Duke]

When I look around at guys and girls in the dating world, I see the same story play out. Nobody is finding success much past a few months. I see a lot of dysfunctional/disrespectful women out there. I don't kiss azz very well at all. I give what I get. Don't take a lot of schitt. I'm sure if I had less self respect I could make them last longer, but that's not me. I come from a solid family with no dysfunction that gets along very well, but I just don't see that same upbringing in most other people.

I would like to hear from those that are making relationships last more than 5months....what is it that you are doing differently?

You can screen all day long. Be this, be that, blah blah blah. But its like Tenacity says....the market is schitt.

 

[logicallefty]

~3 x years has been my long term average. ~3 x months has been my short term average.

For the long term ones, you have to establish your frame from day 1. Let them know, and see, that:

1) You are busy and won't tolerate anyone wasting your time
2) Disrespect is a no-no and you are not afraid to walk at any time
3) You want a relationship but do not need one
4) While they are a great fit for you right now, you have other options too

I had plenty of days spinning plates in my 30s but as I have aged I prefer dating only one woman at a time. Why? I find that sex gets better the longer I am with a woman. First times with a given woman have, generally, not been all that exciting for me. But after 3-4+ times it's game on.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Long term relationships are earned. Honestly, dating a woman for 1.5 years is a waste of time if it doesn't lead to marriage. You should drop unworthy women about 12 months sooner, unless she's already settled into a **** buddy role.

The biggest two hurdles when meeting a check are if she is even LTR material, and if your parents / social circle approves (who shouldn't meet her before 6 months). If you clear that, she could be the one.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Two 7 year relationships and a bunch of 6-9 month things that ran their course. I look at relationships as convergence. I can do my best in all of them but I'm only half the picture. When it's time to go, it's time to go. I don't really look at the time as my indicator of success, but how I came out of the relationship.

 

[zekko]

When we got together, I was 42 and she was 28. Yikes, I can't believe we've been together that long. What makes it work might be hard to say, but there are some tendencies.

I agree with logicallefty, you have to have a good frame. I enjoy the relationship, but I don't need it. If it ends tomorrow, it would sadden me, but I would accept it.

The girl has to be high interest. I don't know what she sees in me that she thinks is so great, but for some reason ever since I've been in my 30s, nice girls have gotten more invested in me. In my 20s, they would have sex with me, but they didn't want to stay with me. I don't think I was a complete person yet then.

I don't play games, and I don't tolerate games. Part of this is she knows my expectations (which are not unreasonable), I am upfront about expressing them, I don't make her guess.

I genuinely enjoy her company. She helps a lot in this, because she is probably the mellowest girl I've ever met. We almost never argue, neither her nor I like to argue. So none of that "you have to argue to give her drama" stuff. If a woman needs drama, that's a sign of a low quality woman IMO.

We cohabitate because I won't get married.

I am not a dishonest person, so I value honesty. Since the man is the leader, I think it is his responsibility to model appropriate behavior.

 

[Trump]

I would like to hear from those that are making relationships last more than 5months....what is it that you are doing differently?

It's not the mans job to make the relationship last 1,2,5 or 18 months. It's the woman's job. The mans job to have sex with her and have fun with her.

Men, you shouldn't really be putting too much effort into a relationship. This is not the 1950s or the Middle East. The resources you go out and fight for everyday to bring home, women can get them easier if not better than you, and society backs the women at any and at all costs. You kill yourself to get resources and maintain the relationship, a months later she wants out and may even ask to get paid. You are left stunned, emotionally hurt, and have to write her a cheque.

So why are men putting effort and time and work into the relationship? Because it's helps the rich and powerful! Can't challenge them if your goals are to make your woman happy.

 

[wifehunter]

I'm @ almost 2 years with my mexican plate. But, she's not like most girls. She cooks, cleans, no makeup, no tats, etc. Definately, my type. She's a good chick, as far as I know.

Still going slowly.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Also, do not ask her out, play social circle game and she will arrange it logistically so she can seduce you, just make sure you know the signals when she wants you to go for the kiss.

Can you elaborate on what you mean by this? I want to make sure that I understand it correctly.

 

[Tenacity]

Okay, looks like it's time for some STRAIGHT talk, because I swear 90% of the cartoonish SHYT you guys talk about on here is SOO out of touch with the real world that I face on a daily basis dealing with various types of women.

#1.) There's NO Such Thing As FRAME

I keep hearing you guys talk about "keeping the frame", what FVCKING frame? There's no such thing as FRAME.

We are dealing with a social/cultural/dating market that is completely and utterly dominated by women. Must I mind you, if the chick is relatively decent looking (HB6+) she has 100 men in her POF/OKC inbox, 50 in her Facebook inbox, 10 lined up at her church, 15 on the job that want her, 20 at the local bar/club she attends that want her. When women have that must power and men lined up, why the FVCK do you guys keep talking about some "frame"?

#2.) How To Make A Relationship With Today's Women Last

The reality is, in order to make a relationship with women of this market last some considerable amount of time, you are going to have to learn how to "eat shyt and like it". You are going to have to figure out a way of how to just tolerate her "flaws".

The next thing you are going to have to do is make yourself useful. That is....why are you in her life? Are you giving her special dyck? Are you the handy man? Are you dropping her loads of cash? What?? You need a purpose.

The final thing (which I shouldn't say final, this is actually at the top of the list) is that you are going to have to be attractive to her in some form or fashion in order to gain her attention over the seas of other guys trying to talk to her. Once you have gained her "attraction", now you begin to make yourself useful as I mentioned above and learn how to tolerate her bullshyt. You do that well, you get rewarded with a "long term relationship".

#3.) But Relationships Today Are Bullshyt

So now understanding what it takes.......ask yourself a question....is it worth it? Hell no it isn't. That's why TENACITY focuses on short term relations and rotating women. I'm not tolerating nor putting up with a woman's bullshyt, it's why I GO OFF on these bytches the way I do, I can't stomach that shyt.

Honestly, dating a woman for 1.5 years is a waste of time if it doesn't lead to marriage.

Marriage = The Biggest Scam In The History Of Mankind. Yo Bro, instead of letting a bytch take all of your wealth, how about you just DONATE the shyt to the wounded warriors project or something? At least it will go to something more productive, versus going to a bytch's weave, worthless shopping habit, her "vacations", or for her to bail her convicted felon boyfriend out of jail (the dude she cheats on you with).

 

[resilient]

Sorta off topic, but felt compelled to respond to @Danger's comment. Leading a fun social circle group is interesting. Before forming one, the guy could be a wallflower with some noticeable looks if he hits the gym, personality, etc., but then he becomes a leader of a group, plans activities, events, haps; women start to notice him in a different light for the first time... attraction in SMV went up a notch or two with that social proof status. The distinguished guy in my mind is the guy that doesn't let his reputation increase get to his head, but can walk in a room, mellow, yet genuine and command presence. No supplication, no looking for it......he just is chill... calm, cool, and collected. Good vibes and a fun all around person to be around.

 

[wifehunter]

Contextual alphas rule.

The way to effortlessly get women is to lead your own fun group. Develop a social circle and be the fun cool guy in it.

As you do this, women will want to join the group for the fun, and over a short time will fall for you and manipulate logistics to get alone time with you.

This is probably the best method I have ever used to get women, and you gain a lot of friends as a result.

 

[bigneil]

I've had five relationships last 6+ months since 2011. Their ages were 19, 31, 21, 20, 20 when we met (average age 22, or half my age).

The keys to making relationships last more than 6 months

1) Let her reach out to you most of the time. This means waiting her out. This is called giving her space. In my last relationship I waited 13 days on several occasions. Each time I had to let go and return to a state of being independent, pure equilibrium. Each time she returned with much more passion, eventually gushing and being willing to do anything.
2) Let her be the first to say "I love you". This means waiting her out. This takes months usually.
3) Make her feel beautiful. Relationships are about them.
4) Be willing to put her in her place and walk away on a moment's notice.
5) Help her in her life. Make her life better in some major way.
6) Satisfy her in bed.
7) Never be her Facebook friend when you are dating her.
8) After each date, wait until she texts you before you contact her again.
9) Get her to eat healthier.
10) Spoil her with the finer things in life. Make sure she associates things like wine, chocolate and silver with you.
11) Never ask for a commitment - that is her territory.
12) Never ask for kids - that is her territory.
13) Never complain, never explain.
14) Reward good behavior and ignore bad behavior.
15) Never end things on a bad note. This was one of your favorite people who you ever met. The worst she can ever do is make you stop giving.

 

[zekko]

#1.) There's NO Such Thing As FRAME.

Ah, there's where you are wrong, my friend. There is most definitely such a thing as frame. And to prove it, just lose it, and watch what happens. The thing to remember is that the frame is for you, not for her. A by product of this is that she will most likely respect you more.

My frame is that I'm cool with being in relationships, I'm not averse to them like some guys here. But there are certain things I need out of a relationship. It's not a long list, but if I don't get those things, then I would prefer not to be in a relationship at all. I like women (unlike a lot of guys here). I like their feminine energy. But I can be on my own if I have to.

I have my life plan, and I am going about carrying it out. A woman is welcome along for the ride. That's my frame. Women do not belong on a pedestal. That doesn't mean I'm better than her, but you don't place her above you and look up at her, she will never respect that. We're all just human beings. I have the masculine role to fulfill. If she decides to leave, that doesn't affect my frame, it's still there. I still have my life plan.

See, if a woman wants YOU, it doesn't matter how many likes she gets on her Facebook page, her attention is going to be on how she can be and stay in a relationship with you.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Ah, there's where you are wrong, my friend. There is most definitely such a thing as frame. And to prove it, just lose it, and watch what happens. The thing to remember is that the frame is for you, not for her. A by product of this is that she will most likely respect you more.

My frame is that I'm cool with being in relationships, I'm not averse to them like some guys here. But there are certain things I need out of a relationship. It's not a long list, but if I don't get those things, then I would prefer not to be in a relationship at all. I like women (unlike a lot of guys here). I like their feminine energy. But I can be on my own if I have to.

I have my life plan, and I am going about carrying it out. A woman is welcome along for the ride. That's my frame. Women do not belong on a pedestal. That doesn't mean I'm better than her, but you don't place her above you and look up at her, she will never respect that. We're all just human beings. I have the masculine role to fulfill. If she decides to leave, that doesn't affect my frame, it's still there. I still have my life plan.

See, if a woman wants YOU, it doesn't matter how many likes she gets on her Facebook page, her attention is going to be on how she can be and stay in a relationship with you.

Or in other words, its the man's responsibility to lead [or educate] a woman. education... to lead out from...

The reason why a lot of guys get bitter, is they are confusing the norm with the ideal [speaking of frame... this is the WRONG frame/ paradigm]. The norm is pretty bad, but so what! A man with purpose has his eyes on the ideal, and if he wants feminine company, will share this with the woman.

Charleston Heston..... Planet of the Apes kind of thing....

 

[zekko]

Frame is when you date down far enough to where she chooses not to leverage her options and allows you to have frame.

Disagree. As I said before, the frame is for you, not for her. Whether or not she decides to buy into it is up to her. But as long as you stand in your convictions, your frame remains, whether she comes or goes or what. If you build yourself a solid house, the house is going to stand no matter what the woman does.

 

[zekko]

We are talking about the effects of frame on the stability and successful of a relationship(see: topic of OP), not loss mitigation techniques.

As am I. You have to have a solid frame, which will stand on its own, for the relationship to work.

Women want strength. A man who cannot stand on his own is not strong.

 

[Tenacity]

I have my life plan, and I am going about carrying it out. A woman is welcome along for the ride. That's my frame. Women do not belong on a pedestal. That doesn't mean I'm better than her, but you don't place her above you and look up at her, she will never respect that. We're all just human beings. I have the masculine role to fulfill. If she decides to leave, that doesn't affect my frame, it's still there. I still have my life plan.

Disagree. As I said before, the frame is for you, not for her. Whether or not she decides to buy into it is up to her. But as long as you stand in your convictions, your frame remains, whether she comes or goes or what. If you build yourself a solid house, the house is going to stand no matter what the woman does.

You can have a life plan, you can have morals, you can have beliefs, and you can have certain convictions. NONE of this means a woman is ever operating in YOUR frame.

- If you had to approach her, make yourself attractive to her, and "close" in getting her number, you are operating under HER FRAME.

- If you had to initiate the date, pay for most of the date, and try to fvck her afterwards, you are operating under HER FRAME.

This is a woman's market today. Unless you have 100 women in your POF/OKC inbox, 50 in your Facebook inbox, 20 at your local church, and 20 at the bar you go to that all are APPROACHING YOU trying to seduce YOU, trying to "close" in getting your number and trying to close on fvcking YOU.....then she's not operating in your frame.

For 99.9% of guys, a woman will never be operating in your "frame". She lets you fvck her because you are attractive to her and she believes you can be useful to her in some capacity. She stays in a relationship with you for the same two reasons, in addition, to you learning how to "tolerate/eat her shyt and like it".

 

[zekko]

Gentlemen, I was trying to answer the question as to why I think my relationship works. If y'all don't like the answer, I don't know what to tell you. Go read some more Roissy, I'm sure he'll tell you what you want to hear.

Yeah, the market's bad. I bet the market is bad for women too. I'm not going to cry about it. As Jesse Ventura said in Predator: I ain't got time to bleed.

 

[Tenacity]

Yeah, the market's bad. I bet the market is bad for women too. I'm not going to cry about it. .

Zekko but I want to point something out to you.....the majority of men that realize the market is piss poor, are NOT crying about it. In actuality, what they are doing instead are:

- Opting out of marriage
- Opting out of making children
- Opting out of LTRs
- Opting out of committed relationships in general (just spinning plates/ONS/Friends with Benefits)
- Opting out of making as much money as they could, due to not wanting to be a provider
- Opting out of building their communities
- Opting out of protecting their communities
- Playing more video games
- Using more porn
- Using more hookers
- Posting on Manosphere sites to inform other men how bad the market is so they can watch for the traps

There's no crying going on, instead, you have men OPTING OUT of what used to be pillars of society. You have these massive changes going on within society that are only going to decrease the amount of human life as we go forward, while completely REVAMPING what we call "family in America" going forward.

 

[zekko]

I've opted out of marriage. Never felt ready to have kids, and it's kind of late now. I enjoy LTRs as long as it is with a cool chick who meets my requirements. I made money for myself. If someone else can get some enjoyment out of it, that's a bonus.

Never understood the whole "I'll be poor, that'll show those b!tches" attitude.

I confess I'm not as civic or community minded as I could be. I'm not proud of that, but I'm more of a loner at heart.

I do think it is a shame that we're losing the family in western culture. That's not going to end well. A lot of the problem is a lack of morality, but the "manosphere" generally spits on the idea of morality, so they don't help either.