If you want to get into a relationship with a girl, is it good to wait it out until she offers it? Or ask to be exclusive yourself? Some might think that asking a girl to be exclusive can make you vulnerable, since you are in a way giving her all the power. But what if the girl is waiting for you to ask her first? How should one ask a girl to be exclusive without coming off as an AFC?
Who asks to be exclusive, the girl or the guy?
- Thread starter Jababa
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Tomatoes
Master Don Juan
This is a question with no answer....I have seen good and bad things happen from both cases. Basically what i did with my girl was leave it. She started dropping suttle hints. ie. She said to a mate "Sorry i was late i was busy with my boyfriend." She said "are you going out now?" She said "No but you know.."
I knew this was the point when i could safely make it offical.
Just look for signs and act when you see them. Til then play it cool.
I knew this was the point when i could safely make it offical.
Just look for signs and act when you see them. Til then play it cool.
Usually a relationship develops naturally and when it does, exclusivity is the norm unless both parties explicitly say that they will not be exclusive.
If you want to tell her without giving her too much power you could word it like...
Make sure you say this in passing and dont act too serious when you say it...
you: When I consider my self to be in a relationship with someone I am exclusively with them, and I expect nothing less in return. It is the only way to avoid complications
This way, you are not directly addressing her. You are simply making sure she knows what you want.
If you want to tell her without giving her too much power you could word it like...
Make sure you say this in passing and dont act too serious when you say it...
you: When I consider my self to be in a relationship with someone I am exclusively with them, and I expect nothing less in return. It is the only way to avoid complications
This way, you are not directly addressing her. You are simply making sure she knows what you want.
Blusher
Senior Don Juan
At some point I guess you have to make things clear if you want to get both tested for STD's and stop using condoms. That's a serious enough issue to discuss the subject explicitly.
Assume you are not exclusive unless there is a specific talk about it.
I have many female friends and FB's who have been dating a guy who thought they were exclusive, and the girl knew the guy thought so, but still considered it fair game to hook up with other guys. The girls of this mindset do not consider it cheating, because they technically never said they were exclusive (notwithstanding the fact they act bf/gf).
So, assume you are not exclusive unless the girl makes it clear that you are.
In my LTR's, I wait for the girl to bring it up and if that is what I want, I agree and then talk about cheating. It should only be talked about once, and establish your boundaries. I make it clear merely giving your phone number to another guy is cheating. She is the one who wants to be exclusive, so she can play by my rules in exchange for the exclusivity. Also, I make clear that she will be dumped if she ever cheats, and I will cut all contact with her and never speak to her again if that happens. That kills any dream of getting back together after a breakup.
I have many female friends and FB's who have been dating a guy who thought they were exclusive, and the girl knew the guy thought so, but still considered it fair game to hook up with other guys. The girls of this mindset do not consider it cheating, because they technically never said they were exclusive (notwithstanding the fact they act bf/gf).
So, assume you are not exclusive unless the girl makes it clear that you are.
In my LTR's, I wait for the girl to bring it up and if that is what I want, I agree and then talk about cheating. It should only be talked about once, and establish your boundaries. I make it clear merely giving your phone number to another guy is cheating. She is the one who wants to be exclusive, so she can play by my rules in exchange for the exclusivity. Also, I make clear that she will be dumped if she ever cheats, and I will cut all contact with her and never speak to her again if that happens. That kills any dream of getting back together after a breakup.
