who am i?

[Tails]

okay, i have to admit to myself that i am not sure who i am anymore. i have been trying to discover the real me. i feel there's two sides to me. i am not really sure. i keep changing every couple of months and i feel weird about it. for a couple years it's been happening. ever since the first time i decided to help myself with my confidence and self esteem. two years ago, i hated myself, i was shy, i was major AFC. i changed and i was a different person. i opened up more than ever before and i was bursting out with all my C+F jokes (i always had it in me, i was just too shy).

however, from time to time i would change my personality. example:

1. sometimes i am quiet, mysterious (i don't talk much), i look angry, feel a tiny bit depressed.

2. i am crazy, i am very happy everyday, i bust out with jokes 24/7 making everyone laugh around me. anyone know that black actor Chris Tucker? yeah, that is me. the way he acts is the way i act... almost identical... all that crazy screamin' and non stop talkin'.

i can be serious about things when i want to but for the past few months i have been number 2.

but only just recently, i've been number 1.

it keeps changing every now and then. women are partly the reason for this. i feel that i keep changing because i want to attract them more. i see movies, and i see people like Bruce Willis, mysterious, rude, sarcastic, etc.

then i see a movie like Rush Hour with Chris Tucker and out comes number 2.

i feel i am partly both, 1 and 2 put in one. i honestly don't know anymore. but like i said, the change is mainly cause of women. i see how people like Bruce Willis attract women because of that mysterious, strong, silent, sarcastic personality. then i want to be that way. then i see Chris Tucker being all crazy and funny, so i start being that way again.

here's another thing. when i'm not with my friends, i am number 1.
when i'm with my friends, i am number 2.

i often think about this, like if i am number 2, it shows no mystery being that way, the girls see me all loud and talkative, always laughing, making jokes, checking out girls at school, winking at them, commenting them (like a damn player). i start to get deep in thought that what i am doing is not attracting girls, i keep thinking i come off as immature being loud and talkative, it isnt mysterious.

that makes me change into number 1. then when i'm number 1, i start to think, "why am i sad, you're supposed to be happy, girls love a happy funny guy, go crazy!"

then i change to number 2. and so on... it gets all confusing.

what is happening to me!?

 

[NewMan]

It's called life and growing.

Your 19,

Go have a beer.

 

[FlyGuy]

Don't overthink it. You're trying to redefine yourself, which is fine, but you can never change your core personality. It also sounds to me as if you might have mild depression which takes you back to your more reserved state from time to time. Focus on being happy in life, and keep growing as a person.

 

[neobrood]

you are undergoing a conflict of identity.

There are two personalities of you who are fighting for control.

Number 1 is obviously AFC...

1. sometimes i am quiet, mysterious (i don't talk much), i look angry, feel a tiny bit depressed.

Sounds like a combination of the "shy" and "hater" type of AFC.

And Number 2 is the DJ...

===========

Its happening to me too. I'm struggling to get rid of that "hater" AFC in me... by trying to do DIFFERENT THINGS I never done before.

- Try taking walks, working out, etc...
- Try taking different routes goin to school//work//home...
- Try socializing more... spend more time with your friends so you can give a chance to "number 2".
- The point is, try a different routine.

Good luck, man. LET NUMBER 2 COME OUT!!! NUMBER 1 SHOULD JUST STFU AND DIE!!!

 

[Dirtheart]

It's just part of your natural evolution as a person. Life is about developing as a person, from experience and knowledge. Who you are today is not necessarily who you will be in 1, 2 or 10 years' time.

No person has a single identity. We all have alter egos, or rather the ability to adapt to different people and situations. No one would speak or act the same way with friends as they would at a job interview.

It's just social intelligence and people who are good at adapting to others are usually the most popular and successful.

 

[Caveman]

Originally posted by FlyGuy
Don't overthink it. You're trying to redefine yourself, which is fine, but you can never change your core personality. It also sounds to me as if you might have mild depression which takes you back to your more reserved state from time to time. Focus on being happy in life, and keep growing as a person.

I agree with FlyGuy.. There are more than 2 sides the ANYONE's personality. But I think in your case you are sometimes struggling with a little bit of a depression.. And even when you are in this depression you would still act like nr. 2 with your friends.

I say don't worry about it too much. Accept it as a part of yourself and try seeing good sides to bad situations so you can get into nr. 2 more. Just never expect the nr. 1 to go away because no matter how happy you are, you will experience little set-backs. Don't worry about it, just 'go with the flow'.

 

[Click Here]

Whoa dude u sound like your breaking down and ****. I don't see what the problem is with 1 or 2, both of them make you up. Be mysterious when u feel like it be loud when you feel like it you don't have to be one or the other all the time dude, trust me because I'm the same way and when I'm loud and pushy and funny I do worse with chicks then when im quiet and reserved with wittyness. Plus everything depends on the chick and what she likes to be around.

Def take that dudes advice and drink a few beers.

 

[Ebach]

That's perfectly understandable. You're a bunch of chemicals and you're changing all the time even if you think you're not. So there's no set identity. You're the product of the chemical reactions inside you.

 

[neobrood]

chemical reactions inside you.

... so at what age will those chemical reactions stop?

I'm 20, turning 21 and I'm kinda at the stage that "Tails" has described in the start of this thread...

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by Dirtheart
It's just part of your natural evolution as a person. Life is about developing as a person, from experience and knowledge. Who you are today is not necessarily who you will be in 1, 2 or 10 years' time.

No person has a single identity. We all have alter egos, or rather the ability to adapt to different people and situations. No one would speak or act the same way with friends as they would at a job interview.

It's just social intelligence and people who are good at adapting to others are usually the most popular and successful.

Well said. Around differnt people you are a different person. It is social intelligence. WIth my family I am quiet, with my friends I am loud.

Sometimes I feel sad and dont talk much. Sometimes I never shutup. Depends how I am feeling. Everyone does it. Relax!

 

[AMF]

Eventually you will know who you are.

Eventually you will completely accept who you are.

Eventually you will never feel confused.

Yeah right!

 

[Hollowpoint]

Tails, Neobrood

I got you both on MSN Messenger, just message me if you want to talk.




I think the best idea is not to worry about what you are becoming.
I myself focus on just bettering myself as a person, and the "final" product will be a demonstration of my work.

BUT we are never the final product, we can always improve and you must keep open minded if you desire to improve.

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by AMF
Eventually you will know who you are.

Eventually you will completely accept who you are.

Eventually you will never feel confused.

Yeah right!

I beleive it is possible. Once u are comfortable with yourself, you will experience hard times and have doubts because of certain circumstances, but u will know you are strong enough and together enough to get through it, and to get through anything life throws at you.

 

[itishe]

I've been having this recently.

1. Sometimes I'm quiet, reserved, and just can't think of anything "funny" to say.

2. Othertimes I'm talkative, full of wit, have the right things to say all the time, etc.

Personally I prefer the first one nowdays. I don't annoy others, don't feel obligated to entertain but let others entertain me, less chance of saying something stupid, etc.