Where to socialize If I bored to please women?

[nelysses]

I used to only chase girls. Finally, someone took pity on me and we got together. Then, after another person etc., I realized that this is not what I wanted. I didn't enjoy it.

I realized that what I actually wanted was emotional. Since I was tired of chasing women and trying to please them, I started to look at my own life.
But the problem is that I don't have a life. School-home-gym-repeat
Sometimes I go to the library, but the library is small and if I walk up to one, everyone sees it and my name is known. Oh, I forgot to mention, I was already known while chasing girls..

In short, I don't do anything. I have hobbies, which is nice, but at the end of the day, I am lonely and I don't do anything to socialize with new people. I only go out with a few friends I know sometimes.

I have 2 questions here(Because if I don't socialize, I know I won't find someone for me even if I'm the best person in the world):

1- Where can I socialize? (There are no bars, clubs etc. in my city. Even if there were, I don't want casual things like I mentioned)
2- How can I socialize? Normally I like to talk but if I force myself I can't say anything because it doesn't come naturally. I usually talk about an event and can't start a topic.

 

[BPH]

1. Travel to a place where there ARE bars, clubs, lounges, etc for you to meet people. I don't meet anybody in my day-to-day either, so I have to go out of my way a little bit if I want to have those opportunities.

2. Just talk to them. There's a guy who just started making a thread about cold approaching the other day. Start doing that. Maybe read the suggestions he was given.

Even if you're looking for something more than casual, you have to find it first. People generally like each other and f*** each other before they decide whether they're in love with each other.

 

[jhonny9546]

IMHO this is not only related to what you can do in the "evenings" but you can find also day activities

 

[nelysses]

1. Travel to a place where there ARE bars, clubs, lounges, etc for you to meet people. I don't meet anybody in my day-to-day either, so I have to go out of my way a little bit if I want to have those opportunities.

2. Just talk to them. There's a guy who just started making a thread about cold approaching the other day. Start doing that. Maybe read the suggestions he was given.

I meant this when I said I wanted something emotional. Traveling is fine. But when I get back from a trip (I have to be here every day because of school) waiting for the next trip again and texting until then seems a bit pointless. Like going on vacation, talking to a girl and then coming back home from vacation.

Secondly, I am a bit shy about these kinds of things because I am an individual. Because people are usually in groups.

Actually, I looked at the school clubs but there are like 3 clubs that are really active and they are a bit different. I saw a club but they have a weird hierarchy and most of them are feminists, LGBT, teenage girls who don't like their families.

We tried to start a club ourselves but it didn't work except for being more intimate with a few friends
I went to the gym. Almost all of the gym is married men over the age of 40

Even if you're looking for something more than casual, you have to find it first. People generally like each other and f*** each other before they decide whether they're in love with each other.

I don't agree this one. That's not what I meant. I met a few people on a first date that I didn't enjoy talking to at all and I didn't want to see them again, and I didn't go if they invited me. I want to be with people who are compatible with my thoughts, who I can be myself with comfortably, who our humor matches, and who I can have fun with.

I saw a girl on Instagram recently. She is 2-3 grades below me.
I keep coming across things she likes and I think we have similar minds. At least from a distance, I thought I should meet her because it was like that.

For some reason, I hadn't gone to the gym in 3 months and my belly was a little too big.
But more importantly, we had nothing in common other than school. And our schools are in different places. I saw her once or twice but I didn't say anything because I didn't know her.

As I said, we are in a small place. When I try someone, everyone knows about it and other options are closed.

IMHO this is not only related to what you can do in the "evenings" but you can find also day activities

Yeah I'm trying to tell this. I wanna someone we can do something together and have fun with.

 

[nelysses]

Actually, since I was already at school for 6-7 hours a day, I thought about completely forgetting about it and focusing more on my studies and sports. I've been like this for a few months now, but I'm in an unrelated depression phase right now. I want to go out and do something, but when I do, I can't find anything to do. There are still 3 years left of school. If things continue like this, I won't have any financial problems when I finish. But this time, I'll have to work 10 hours a day
On the one hand, I'm wondering if I should go and say "hello" to someone while I'm still at university campus.

 

[BPH]

I meant this when I said I wanted something emotional. Traveling is fine. But when I get back from a trip (I have to be here every day because of school) waiting for the next trip again and texting until then seems a bit pointless. Like going on vacation, talking to a girl and then coming back home from vacation.

Secondly, I am a bit shy about these kinds of things because I am an individual. Because people are usually in groups.

Actually, I looked at the school clubs but there are like 3 clubs that are really active and they are a bit different. I saw a club but they have a weird hierarchy and most of them are feminists, LGBT, teenage girls who don't like their families.

We tried to start a club ourselves but it didn't work except for being more intimate with a few friends
I went to the gym. Almost all of the gym is married men over the age of 40


I don't agree this one. That's not what I meant. I met a few people on a first date that I didn't enjoy talking to at all and I didn't want to see them again, and I didn't go if they invited me. I want to be with people who are compatible with my thoughts, who I can be myself with comfortably, who our humor matches, and who I can have fun with.

I saw a girl on Instagram recently. She is 2-3 grades below me.
I keep coming across things she likes and I think we have similar minds. At least from a distance, I thought I should meet her because it was like that.

For some reason, I hadn't gone to the gym in 3 months and my belly was a little too big.
But more importantly, we had nothing in common other than school. And our schools are in different places. I saw her once or twice but I didn't say anything because I didn't know her.

As I said, we are in a small place. When I try someone, everyone knows about it and other options are closed.


Yeah I'm trying to tell this. I wanna someone we can do something together and have fun with.

Dude, I gave you advice before and you didn't take it.

Now you're here again, asking for advice, not taking it.

Your entire reply means nothing because you are basically giving me excuses for why you can't do any of the things I just suggested. It's ok, you don't have to be happy if it's too hard for you.

If somebody wanted to lose weight, and I suggested they make changes to their diet, and their excuse for not making those changes is because they "like the food they're eating now" then what can really be done to help that person?

 

[zekko]

There are still 3 years left of school. If things continue like this, I won't have any financial problems when I finish. But this time, I'll have to work 10 hours a day
On the one hand, I'm wondering if I should go and say "hello" to someone while I'm still at university campus.

When I was in school, I worked my way through also, I sacrificed my social life to do it - something had to go. Well worth it, because I had no debt when I was done. I only dated in the summer, but I did meet a great LTR girl during this period, amazingly enough.

Anyway, sure say hello to people, you're never going to meet anyone if you don't talk to anyone. Maybe sit with some people in the cafeteria, study in the library, talk to people in class, whatever.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

I used to only chase girls. Finally, someone took pity on me and we got together. Then, after another person etc., I realized that this is not what I wanted. I didn't enjoy it.

I realized that what I actually wanted was emotional. Since I was tired of chasing women and trying to please them, I started to look at my own life.
But the problem is that I don't have a life. School-home-gym-repeat
Sometimes I go to the library, but the library is small and if I walk up to one, everyone sees it and my name is known. Oh, I forgot to mention, I was already known while chasing girls..

In short, I don't do anything. I have hobbies, which is nice, but at the end of the day, I am lonely and I don't do anything to socialize with new people. I only go out with a few friends I know sometimes.

I have 2 questions here(Because if I don't socialize, I know I won't find someone for me even if I'm the best person in the world):

1- Where can I socialize? (There are no bars, clubs etc. in my city. Even if there were, I don't want casual things like I mentioned)
2- How can I socialize? Normally I like to talk but if I force myself I can't say anything because it doesn't come naturally. I usually talk about an event and can't start a topic.

Coffee shop or park.

Roll, son

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

The world is your playground

if you want it to be

No, i won't elaborate