Where to draw the line on flaking

[dj_jazzybrad]

Take today for instance. Had a date set up with a girl ive been on one date with it, out of the blue she texts me "hey it looks like I can't make it today". I just said "no biggie. Give me a rain check for later this weekend?" her: "definately ".
I've never actually been totally flaked on where I go to meet a girl somewhere and she just doesn't show. But what's a good response when the above scenario happens for the second time? It just seems like the tables are kind of turning, haha. As much as I realize it and don't want it to happen, she's making me emotionally attached by being busy... l

 

[Analyzeit]

I personally give them two chances.

As you said "No biggie, later in the weekend?" then she flakes again later this weekend without a good reason that you know is true. draw the line.

 

[dj_jazzybrad]

I personally give them two chances.

As you said "No biggie, later in the weekend?" then she flakes again later this weekend without a good reason that you know is true. draw the line.

So would you suggest saying something about it or simply moving on?

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

If a girl flakes, you should set up a new time right then. If she flakes again, there's really no reason to talk to her again. I'll allow one flake just because sometimes there are extenuating circumstances, but two in a row just means she is blowing you off.

 

[Lumberyard]

Do try to setup the 2nd time right away. Perhaps be more forceful and demonstrate your desire and value by replying with more of a statement then a question granting her all the power. Maybe, "No biggie, we can hangout Saturday night instead." You've successfully in this case 1) Demonstrated you do want to hangout with her (Remember- you are always being tested, she might be trying to avoid a 1night close ) 2) Set a date for the raincheck, and 3) Displayed your ability to lead and kept the power on your hand rather than just letting her "pick" the time.

If she replies with some sort of "maybe" then forget it. But if it's a yes, just shoot her a quick text the day before/earlier the day of and set some more solid plans.

 

[PeeGee]

Things do come up and plans need to be cancelled. But a girl who is interested will offer a backup time.

I planned to spend a weekend with this girl, and she said something last week to make me wary of a possible flake. So when she came to me with this I wasn't shocked:

Hey i won't be able to hang out on Saturday - I have this planning thing with the baby shower

Actually I was a little shocked since that excuse was legit. She then followed up with:

But I'm free Sunday

Score.

 

[edger]

Things do come up and plans need to be cancelled. But a girl who is interested will offer a backup time.

Not necssarily true. Sometimes people are so passive, that they'll offer another time. I remember that being the case with me years ago when I wasn't interested in a chick. Best thing to do is, if she offers a counter hang-out, let her get in touch with you. That'll show most likely whether she's interested or not.

 

[thebestthing]

Things do come up and plans need to be cancelled. But a girl who is interested will offer a backup time.

I planned to spend a weekend with this girl, and she said something last week to make me wary of a possible flake. So when she came to me with this I wasn't shocked:

Hey i won't be able to hang out on Saturday - I have this planning thing with the baby shower

Actually I was a little shocked since that excuse was legit. She then followed up with:

But I'm free Sunday

Score.

Isn't this bad though? It's like you conforming to fit her schedule.
I believe smoeone told me on these boards that in this situation you make plans for Sunday [with someone else], and tell her "No, I'm busy Sunday, but Tuesday is fine." to keep yourself in control.

Confirm/deny?