When's it ok to show a little weakness?

[someguy314]

When you're in a long-term relationship, how do you balance your own need for emotional support against your need to seem steadfast/in-control to keep your girlfriend attracted?

I'm in a very hard major in a very hard college. All my professors are just trying to break me. No amount of DJ mind tricks would keep that from getting to me, or anyone. I can't just change my attitude and suddenly not be affected by this much stress and pressure every day.

One thing I'd like to get out of my relationship (serious for about 10 months) is to be able to confide in her about all this, to let it out when it's getting to me. That's not very DJ-like, but I think it's human to want to confide in someone you're so close to.

But I don't want to lose the confident, in-control edge that helped make her attracted to me in the first place. So how do I balance this, what I need versus what I can get away with without the attraction diminishing?

 

[nosexbox]

Man, if you're in the relationship for ten months, you're really in it. If you don't feel like you can express yourself as you are at this point, you need to rethink the whole thing.

I'm serious. If she's going to take off on you because of something like that, screw her. She won't make you happy in the long run.

 

[someguy314]

She's not showing any sign of taking off.

I'm just asking about this because my schoolwork is more stressful right now than it's been at other points in our relationship, and I need more support from her than I have before. I just want to check with people who have experience to make sure I'm not making a mistake to open up about this stuff.

 

[smoke city]

i'm in grad school in an extremely demanding major -- so i have experience with balancing these sorts of things. i agree with nosexbox--you definitely should be able to open up to your girlfriend, and express your fears and vulnerabilities. on the other hand...losing your edge because you have too much schoolwork in college is RIDICULOUS. you've made choices in your life -- YOU chose to go to this school, and pursue this major. why? because ostensibly you like it. you also chose to maintain a relationship with your girlfriend.
"emotional support"? i'm sorry, man...that's wussy-talk. you are blowing your school stress WAY out of proportion. you have good health, your girlfriend, and (i'm assuming) a decent life otherwise. there are MANY, MUCH WORSE things that could happen to you than having too much work. get over it, and keep making your woman happy.

 

[frivolousz21]

first off.

that stuff shoudlnt bother you.

wait till you work for money then you will realize real stress

also.....

she should be your best friend by 10 months.

so you can tell her anything

you can cry, laugh, watever dont matter.

she wont leave you.

just work hard not ot be stressed.

 

[englishcrap]

I show vunerabilities on second dates...its all about sharing a value with a girl and she will share somthing with you in return.

I am not saying tell her that you love her and have feelings for her"

Tell her how you cried when you fluffy rabbit died when u were 14 years old or somthing liek that get what i mean ?

Oh how you terrible at reading maps

 

[00Kevin]

it is never ok to show a woman weakness. Anytime you do you can be sure that she won't find you attractive.

I'm sorry to tell you this but being strong is part of being a man.
Being a man is learning how to be at one with yourself. You have to first learn how to deal with your own problems before you can ever hope to deal with a woman and all her issues.

You have to act like a strong pillar that your woman can lean against. Even if you feel weak inside you have to hold yourself up. It would be wrong to ask a woman to be your support brace.


When you are on a date.. focus on showing her how strong you are. Don't start ****-ing crying! lol

 

[frivolousz21]

When you are on a date.. focus on showing her how strong you are. Don't start ****-ing crying! lol

did u read his post?

he has been with her for 10 months.

oh and no ur wrong...no one is perfect..find me a man who is.

 

[comic_relief]

DJ- like? Who gives a rats a$$!

If you are stressed, then don't bottle it up all the time. I sure as hell don't. It is more destructive then anything else. I did this for a long time until it lead me into a major psychological breakdown. I have had two of these in my life and believe me they are not pretty.

If you are in a ten month relationship and you haven't showed any emotion like stress or anything. I suggest if you want to show off a more human side. Start off slow and keep it to a mininum. Too much b!tching gets you no where but a little bit won't hurt anything. I show my human side and it didn't hurt me.

 

[Jack McCrack]

I've also recently had a major psychological breakdown. My parents think I'm taking drugs (Yes, marijuana) but it's really from just bottling feelings up inside you instead of letting them out in one way or another.

It is human to have emotions every now and then. You're doing fine.