When you've got nothing to lose
- Thread starter OpenMind
- Start date
Contrary to popular belief, it does work sometimes...
Take for instance my last GF. We had been out several times and things had been going well, then she didn't return my calls. She finally called me up one night and we met up. When I tried to kiss her, she told me she was starting to see someone else. I got pretty pissed, and started walking off to my car to get the hell out of there. But, I turned around, went back and talked to her some more. I didn't say anything like "I really like you a lot"...but told her we really connected and I had never met anyone like her before, and other things I had felt about us. I said that, said goodbye, and figured that was it.
A couple days later she calls up, telling me what I said made her melt. She stopped seeing the other guy and we dated for four months. It didn't last forever, but it was one of the most intense and exciting relationships I'd ever had.
So, it can work...but I think she has to be feeling something for you in the first place for it to do any good.
Take for instance my last GF. We had been out several times and things had been going well, then she didn't return my calls. She finally called me up one night and we met up. When I tried to kiss her, she told me she was starting to see someone else. I got pretty pissed, and started walking off to my car to get the hell out of there. But, I turned around, went back and talked to her some more. I didn't say anything like "I really like you a lot"...but told her we really connected and I had never met anyone like her before, and other things I had felt about us. I said that, said goodbye, and figured that was it.
A couple days later she calls up, telling me what I said made her melt. She stopped seeing the other guy and we dated for four months. It didn't last forever, but it was one of the most intense and exciting relationships I'd ever had.
So, it can work...but I think she has to be feeling something for you in the first place for it to do any good.
insomniac is right. If a woman has feelings for you and time goes by without you making it clear how you feel about her it is discouraging and leaves her questioning the relationship. She will feel like she is investing her time, effort and emotions into someone who just doesn't seem all that interested. This is why it is a huge mistake to try to continue to be a challenge and mysterious once there are feelings involved. It alienates the other person and ultimately pushes them away.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
Interesting point, Wildfyre
Perhaps this is why the gal I'm seeing hasn't called me now that she's (presumably) back in town after having been gone for the weekend, though I left a message for her Friday.
We still haven't had sex, but made out more passionately the last time we got together than any of our prior few dates.
My actions are congruently positive, but I don't say much to indicate that I feel anything for her yet.
Hmmm....
Perhaps this is why the gal I'm seeing hasn't called me now that she's (presumably) back in town after having been gone for the weekend, though I left a message for her Friday.
We still haven't had sex, but made out more passionately the last time we got together than any of our prior few dates.
My actions are congruently positive, but I don't say much to indicate that I feel anything for her yet.
Hmmm....
Re: Interesting point, Wildfyre
I doubt that's the case after only a few dates. But you'll get the same kind of reaction if you overdo it with waiting to call when she really likes you, too. The waiting to call is intended to prevent the guy from being too pushy too fast. If you don't have that problem then you shouldn't wait too long in between calling.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
She could be trying to pace things
... or she could just not be that interested.
It's foolish to overanalyze or read too much into things. She does seem very hesitant to take things further, so I'm just going to lay back and see what she does.
There are always others.
... or she could just not be that interested.
It's foolish to overanalyze or read too much into things. She does seem very hesitant to take things further, so I'm just going to lay back and see what she does.
There are always others.