When Women Keeping it Real Goes Wrong

[BeDJ]

I had a second date with this chick and went in for the kiss. After, she told me:

I know you've been waiting for that

I just though this was the most interesting followup to a kiss, WHICH I INITIATED. She is playing games, she wanted to kiss, but afterward she wanted that fvcking upper hand.

Most chumps will agree with her and tell her everything she wants to hear, according to her agenda. These are the SAME type of women that get men under their spells and once they are in their mid 30's they find out that their husband was only a fvcking puppet. When a woman throws this at you, it is DEFINITELY a sh!t test. It's a sh!t test that you probably will not win.

1) You respond positive, she continues to have the upper hand.

2) You respond negatively and she thinks you are a jerk.

This is given that you are just dating here, not commited. In my case, it was the second date. I realized what she was trying to get from me and was turned off. Completely. It was a power move on her part and since she did not get what she wanted, she threw a fit and I walked her home. After, she would call and text me - but never brought up that event. N.E.X.T.

Some insight to one of the more intriguing dating lessons, I've learned. Batter up!

 

[Speculator E]

Could have been an BPD chick. Good job dodging a bullet if that's the case. I might have at least tried to fvck her first before dumping her. You put in the time. You might as well at least get some kind of reward.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

^^^^That's good Danger.

I would have given her this look 0_o. or laughed in her face.

Either way, she's stupid. I've dated girls like this, they just can't let it go. They always have something dumb to say at all the wrong times.

Could have been an BPD chick. Good job dodging a bullet if that's the case. I might have at least tried to fvck her first before dumping her. You put in the time. You might as well at least get some kind of reward.

I'm willing to bet he still will. But first, she needs to learn a lesson.

 

[floydb25]

^ Word... Girls like these are very dumb. It's definitely all a game of control to them. These are the conniving, manipulative ones who "plot" everything out, and think everyone is as retarded and empty as them. They simply have no lives and think they're special and clever - when really, everyone just wants them to die in a fire.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

She is playing games, she wanted to kiss, but afterward she wanted that fvcking upper hand.

Get used to this, as it will NEVER end. Girls will ALWAYS try and wrestle the frame from you, e.g. they'll always try to frame the interaction as YOU chasing them.


Since she'll rarely, if ever, acknowledge YOUR frame, the best bet is to simply LIVE within your own frame, and simply ignore any attempts to pull you out of it.

Often times, it may seem tempting to meet her at her attempt, through some kind of "re-frame," but they tends to blow up, as it feels to her, on a deep level, that you're dissing her.

Just take whatever she says, ignore it, smile at her, and do whatever you want.

Let her actions dictate your actions, not her words.

If you're looking for any kind of conscious agreement or approval, you're going to be disappointed.

 

[Desdinova]

I know you've been waiting for that

I just though this was the most interesting followup to a kiss, WHICH I INITIATED. She is playing games, she wanted to kiss, but afterward she wanted that fvcking upper hand.

Really? You nexted her for that?

I'm still amazed at how many of you guys think that women constantly play games. I see none of it here. She wasn't leading you on in order to get a free drink. She wasn't promising to give you sex if you took her to an expensive meal. She's just looking for some feedback on how attracted you are to her, and this was her way of doing it. If I NEXTed every chick based on a little bit of teasing on her part, I would NEVER get laid. You need to tease her back. You need to make it fun. You need to give her the feedback that you're enjoying it as well, and be able to do so in a confident and playful way.

Do yourself a favor and look for some REAL red flags before you NEXT a chick.

 

[Jules_Winfield]

She was trying to have fun by teasing you. She contacted you because she likes you.

I would have said, "I was waiting for that. Next time, I'll give you what you want."

 

[Jitterbug]

Tell her "shut up " and kiss her again.

You guys need to take it less seriously.

 

[BeDJ]

Ignoring her and smiling was exactly what I did.

But this entire situation goes a lot deeper. For her to do that before we even had sex or were in a relationship, there are much more sh!t tests in the future. She will always 'think' she has the upper hand. Why would anyone want to deal with that? She exposed her strategy and you see your odds. Either fold your hand or risk your chip count in the future.

This was an early red flag, which you guys spotted for women behavior. It was a push for the advantage over the relationship, early on. You can't change her agenda, it's your choice to walk away or hope to apply Game to a lose-lose situation. Premature next.

Tell her "shut up " and kiss her again.

You guys need to take it less seriously.

The last person I expected to hear that from was you.

1) She obviously liked me - given her communications after.
2) It was a blatant power move.

Why do women do this? They have that feeling of being more attracted to you than you are to them. How do they counter it? Same tactics we use. Reversing the script, indifference, etc. However, an experienced man will see what she was trying to do and overcome it. I saw her agenda. I simply looked at her and smiled. Have I laided her? No. Is it going to require a sh!t-ton of work? Yes. Next.

 

[Boilermaker]

This wasn't a red flag, this was just random noise.

She just wanted to seem cool perhaps.

If you are NEXT'ing viable options you invest in like this, you seriously have confidence issues yourself.

For anyone to deduce that much information from a single statement like that is impossible, even if you are backbreaker or even Burroughs.

It wasn't even a move, let alone being power play.

You gotta 'unlearn' some of the things you learned friend.

 

[BeDJ]

This wasn't a red flag, this was just random noise.

She just wanted to seem cool perhaps.

It wasn't even a move, let alone being power play.

You gotta 'unlearn' some of the things you learned friend.

So the reasoning behind it?

....
...
....
...
...
...

Ssshhhhhhh

I got the answer tonight by picking up her phone call. She was already nexted so it did not matter.

The reason why she said it was because she wanted to know how I felt about her, at the same time - making sure that I had feelings for her. Having already nexted the chick, I explained her the only man she will attract doing so is a weak willed man. She will never be happy being in control of the relationship. Silence ensued.

 

[Jitterbug]

Of course it's a frame grab / power move. Women love controlling men, that's what they do. Women everywhere in every culture and every era do this. Some are more tactful and feminine as they attempt to sink their hooks into you, some do it in an awkward feministy boner killing way like our favourite Western females raised to be dudes, not women.

If you don't like their intent, I'm afraid you will be NEXTing every woman you date. Sooner or later, you will discover the same agenda.

If you don't like their execution, that's another thing. If it's a turn off to you because she talks crap during intimate kissing, then by all means, NEXT her. If I were you and she kept talking herself up during our makeout, and I already playfully told her to shut up, I'd stop and tell her she's ruining the mood, and further violations mean I'd walk.

 

[BeDJ]

Of course it's a frame grab / power move. Women love controlling men, that's what they do. Women everywhere in every culture and every era do this. Some are more tactful and feminine as they attempt to sink their hooks into you, some do it in an awkward feministy boner killing way like our favourite Western females raised to be dudes, not women.
If you don't like their intent, I'm afraid you will be NEXTing every woman you date. Sooner or later, you will discover the same agenda.

If you don't like their execution, that's another thing. If it's a turn off to you because she talks crap during intimate kissing, then by all means, NEXT her. If I were you and she kept talking herself up during our makeout, and I already playfully told her to shut up, I'd stop and tell her she's ruining the mood, and further violations mean I'd walk.

It's obvious that you NEXT standards are lenient. Everything happens before the kiss is made. Any jackass (myself included) can kiss a woman. Does that mean there is any attraction? What you are doing is putting a bandaid to the entire situation.

By YOU playfully telling her to shut up accomplished what? You are still kissing her. Same reason as a woman telling you she is ticklish. It does not mean anything when you are in the act. Telling her that she is ruining the mood? How does it even get that far?

Jitterbug,

Look back at the women who were interested in you, they would never drop that line - UNLESS it was a frame grab. Women ho attempt this sh!t will bot change. Fvcking next them already.

 

[Speculator E]

I personally wouldn't care and keep pushing ahead. The end goal is sex.

The last date I had the girl (very young) gave me the following $hit tests:
-made a comment on how slow my car is. (my car isn't slow btw.)
-said she likes fast car
-showed me pictures of her past ex-bf (why???)
-talked about her current bf (LDR)
-said how much she really likes him (1 month and LDR???)
-then said there's another guy that's hitting on her and she doesn't know yet if she likes him back. Blah Blah (LOL)
-she called me a **** once or twice I think

All that time I knew what she was doing. I know the game but I didn't care. That's the key. I was thinking the entire time. "Hey is this supposed to make me angry or jealous or something. LOL."

But she also showed some IOI:
-laugh or giggle when I made some dumb joke
-she kept trying to steal my phone away while I was playing a game.
-she kino back
-she's playful. she teases.
-etc etc

I'm sure she's not playing me. We will end up having sex eventually. If we end up hanging out again I'll keep leading and pushing things towards sex. How I don't know yet. But I'll figure something out. That's my frame and how I think.

In the mean time I'm also pursuing another girl.

I don't care if she's trying to make power moves on me. Whether she's doing it on purpose or not has no affect on me. I want sex. Then if I like her maybe a relationship later on only if things are good.

 

[Desdinova]

For her to do that before we even had sex or were in a relationship, there are much more sh!t tests in the future. She will always 'think' she has the upper hand. Why would anyone want to deal with that? She exposed her strategy and you see your odds.

There's a genuine reason why I believe most women do NOT have an agenda nor a game plan when it comes to dating men. Have you ever heard a group of women try to make plans? It doesn't really matter what it is whether it be a baby/wedding shower or just getting together with a bunch of friends. They constantly get side-tracked with some dumbass gossip, they can't decide who's going to pick up who, how they're going to get to the destination, what day to have it on, etc etc. It literally takes them FOREVER to come up with some kind of a plan, and even when they do come to some kind of conclusion, their plan isn't rock solid. I cannot imagine a woman coming up with a plan to control a man unless she's already involved with him and he's royally pissed her off. Even then, they usually don't follow through with their plan. Why? Because they don't trust themselves, they're generally not self-confident, and they're uncertain of the outcome. This is why women look to their men to make the definitive rock-solid plans, and trust them to follow through with it.

It's much easier to lead a woman than to allow her to lead you. Next time you have a date set with a woman, tell her that she can decide where to go, what to do, and at what time. Chances are she's going to come up with nothing.

...and that's how good your "power-hungry" woman is with planning to control your life.

 

[Boilermaker]

^

Couldn't agree more. I like Desdi's common sense approach in general.

People, forget about making these too "clever" chess moves. Play normally. Use your common sense.

 

[BeDJ]

There's a genuine reason why I believe most women do NOT have an agenda nor a game plan when it comes to dating men. Have you ever heard a group of women try to make plans? It doesn't really matter what it is whether it be a baby/wedding shower or just getting together with a bunch of friends. They constantly get side-tracked with some dumbass gossip, they can't decide who's going to pick up who, how they're going to get to the destination, what day to have it on, etc etc. It literally takes them FOREVER to come up with some kind of a plan, and even when they do come to some kind of conclusion, their plan isn't rock solid. I cannot imagine a woman coming up with a plan to control a man unless she's already involved with him and he's royally pissed her off. Even then, they usually don't follow through with their plan. Why? Because they don't trust themselves, they're generally not self-confident, and they're uncertain of the outcome. This is why women look to their men to make the definitive rock-solid plans, and trust them to follow through with it.

It's much easier to lead a woman than to allow her to lead you. Next time you have a date set with a woman, tell her that she can decide where to go, what to do, and at what time. Chances are she's going to come up with nothing.

...and that's how good your "power-hungry" woman is with planning to control your life.

I get what you are saying. Though there are some women who have dating strategies. This most likely resulted from bad relationships, getting manipulated for sex or after 25, the best margin she can get. The only true power in the dating game women have is withholding sex. You gauge her actions during the early process of dating to identify if its going to be a power struggle. When sex comes slow, either you fvcked up somewhere or she's using it to control the dating progress. You decide whether or not it's going to be worth it to continue. Most of the time, it's not.

^

Couldn't agree more. I like Desdi's common sense approach in general.

People, forget about making these too "clever" chess moves. Play normally. Use your common sense.

You can tell people to use common sense when it comes to dating. That's like telling a beginner at golf to just hit the ball. Dating for the most part is a mental game. Experience and practice gives you a foundation to build upon the mechanics. You have to learn and internalize the techniques to be consistent with your stroke.

 

[Bible_Belt]

If you are NEXT'ing viable options you invest in like this, you seriously have confidence issues yourself.

For anyone to deduce that much information from a single statement like that is impossible, even if you are backbreaker or even Burroughs.

It wasn't even a move, let alone being power play.

You gotta 'unlearn' some of the things you learned friend.

That post deserves to get quoted.

The critical error of the OP is attaching meaning to a woman's words.

 

[BeDJ]

The meaning and words are irrelevant, it's the intent.

I should have mentioned that when I kissed closed her on the first date, she says, 'you know you like that.' Some women just need to stfu and enjoy the moment. Don't they know I'm the prize???

 

[Bible_Belt]

"Game" for women is almost entirely the stroking of the male ego. If you can let go of your ego, you can have any woman, not just the ones who are good at gaming you.

In one of the old Pook writings, he compares women to kittens. I really like that metaphor. Would you get mad at a kitten for the way it meowed? Would you be offended at any of its intentions? The less seriously you take women, the easier they are to fvck.