When to next

[soverign]

I met a girl at a party a few weeks ago. During our conversation I got her number and a tenative date for bike riding. Which is suprising to me because I wasn't even trying. A few days latter I ran into her when I was out, we were both with friends. She wanted to know when we were going bike ridding. So we made plans in a few days. The ride was nice, I might have done a few things that were AFCish, but all in all it was good. When we got back to her place she invited me inside for water. We hung out for a bit and when I left I made a point to give her two big hugs. She also wanted to know if we could do it again. I said sure we could. I had fun and enjoyed myself. She seems like a nice fun person, hot too. So I do want to do something again. I waited a week to call her. When I finally did she was getting pulled over by the cops and got off the phone really quickly. The next day her phone was disconnected (turns out it was stollen). When I finally did get her I asked if she wanted to get dinner that night, she was busy. I said ok and hung up. I called back about a week later and got her voicemail. I said I wanted to know if she was free for dinner in two days time. I called again later in the day, but didn't leave a message. I never heard from her, and she hasn't called me once. When I was with her she did seem interested in going out again, but her not calling seems like a clear sign that she isn't that interested. Now I had fun and would love to do it again, but her actions make me think I should next her. When should I next her.

On a side note, if I do next her, and she comes around weeks or months later should I start it up again.

Soverign

 

[arlanda]

She probably got the idea that you are too much into her. Sometimes girls I am interested in only as friends will get the wrong idea Simply make yourself less available. Also, don't leave voice messages!

Anyways, you should have probably kiss closed after the bike-date

 

[speedo_meme]

i don't think you have to worry about nexting her, she already nexted you...

if she wanted ANYTHING to do with you, you'd know it....erase her number. i know this is the universal statement, but i mean come on, you can't really be hung up on a girl you've seen once...there is no problem or misunderstanding here.

 

[NewMan]

It didn't work out - so don't call again.

 

[soverign]

OneArmDeeJay: wow that kind of felt like a smack in the face. One which I probably deserve, being a recent RAFC I still feel very AFC at times.

I should have NEXT her after the no callback. I didn't because I like her and I wanted something to happen. However after reading your thoughts I see that I have already lost any chance with her. Something which makes me really angry. I still want something to happen with her and I'm finding it hard to NEXT her.

Her phone really was stolen. I heard it from one of her neighbors, not from her.

arlanda: I read a thread on sosuave about how long to wait. Seven days seemed like a long time to me, but not to the readers on the thread. Maybe calling too soon after my first call wasn't good. After leaving her apartment I too felt that I should have kissed closed. The frustrating part is that I feel I've lost my chance with her, but I don't want to stop trying to get with her.

 

[NewMan]

It has nothing to do with when you didn't kiss close her.

It has nothing to do with the number of days you waited to call.

she isn't interested in you - there's a million possible reasons for it. If your going to analyze anything - you should analyze yourself, actions, talk, descisions, date etc. etc. experience and learn.

 

[soverign]

Originally posted by NewMan
It has nothing to do with when you didn't kiss close her.

It has nothing to do with the number of days you waited to call.

she isn't interested in you - there's a million possible reasons for it. If your going to analyze anything - you should analyze yourself, actions, talk, descisions, date etc. etc. experience and learn.

I think your right. Still I want to believe that she wants something to do with me. It is the AFC in me. I need to kill it.

Soverign

 

[thesynergist]

Remeber to focus on her ACTIONS (like not returning your calls/ having free time) and not her WORDS. She can say she had fun, can't wait to do it again, etc...but it's all drivel if those statements aren't mirrored by what she actually does. Be Pragmatic!

 

[NewMan]

there are other hot women out there that need your attention. Go find one, and don't think a single thought for this one.

 

[soverign]

Originally posted by NewMan
there are other hot women out there that need your attention. Go find one, and don't think a single thought for this one.

Thanks NewMan I will.

 

[Chrispy]

I'm beating a dead horse with this one but she lost interest in you. You can analyze yourself and all the actions - the one to remember is - don't have that desperation or clinginess after the good date by calling so many times; for me I try to have more than one option so i'm not putting too much thought on one option.

Go back to read some of the DJ bible stuff for your next conquests!

 

[soverign]

don't have that desperation or clinginess after the good date by calling so many times

I only called her once about a week after our ride, we didn't actually get to talk. Then two days after that when she said she was busy. Then I called a week later and left her a message, then later that night with no message.

I wanted to call her right away, or a day after our ride, but I held off. I waited about a week, which I thought was a little excessive, but I did anyways.

Now is the number of times and lenght of time between my calls clingy?

Soverign

 

[QuanJuan]

Re: When to call

Hey Sov,
I agree 5 to 7 days to call is too long, especially when you're dealing with an American babe. Some of them have been told to next guys if they don't call back within 4 days (or something like that in The Rules for women). I think a minimum of three days is in order, but I don't think you called too much.

I think what's been said sums it up..., if she was into you she would have called back after the cops stopped her, and if you would have made her desire meter swing wildly it wouldn't matter if you hugged or kissed her because she would be all over you trying to set up another date.

Onearmdj is right though..., if we are sexually interested in a woman we should always kiss close. I mean that's whats on our minds so we should just do it. The hug thing is for friends and too many guys do that. From now on when I just want to be friends with a woman I will hug her..., and if I feel like boning the holy living shyt out of her I will kiss close.

Now all I have to do is put that into action. Sometimes easier said than done..., considering I'm still in DJ infancy.

 

[leeman67]

Dont feel alone...

Dont feel alone dude. Im the king of blowing it. Someone replied that a girl wants to know what kind of guy wont make a move after all of that. My answer is a nice guy.. LOL. Thats why we are here asking for help. I respect women. I dont think with my **** like 95 percent do. (well, actualy I do, but I just dont act upon my inpulses...LOL). Really, I m not a guy looking to sleep around , so Im not in the (find someone to bang mode). I am so caught up with finding Ms Right that I dont see all of the(Hey yo.. lets go) that comes my way.

 

[Lost In Translation]

QuanJuan
Onearmdj is right though..., if we are sexually interested in a woman we should always kiss close. I mean that's whats on our minds so we should just do it. The hug thing is for friends and too many guys do that. From now on when I just want to be friends with a woman I will hug her..., and if I feel like boning the holy living shyt out of her I will kiss close.

i agree

OneArmDeeJay said it all

you could have kissed her and who knows where you would be with her right now

but you hugged her... and then went in for a hug re-match

i am sure her brother hugs her goodbye when he visits too


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: pimpfromdayone
“And you're saying party chicks haven't been shared by more dudes than a rental car? “

 

[Chrispy]

Originally posted by soverign
I only called her once about a week after our ride, we didn't actually get to talk. Then two days after that when she said she was busy. Then I called a week later and left her a message, then later that night with no message.

I wanted to call her right away, or a day after our ride, but I held off. I waited about a week, which I thought was a little excessive, but I did anyways.

Now is the number of times and lenght of time between my calls clingy?

Soverign

Yeah, calling a week later may have turned down her interests. I've been told by good looking girls that it's a "wrong" to wait so long. 2 or so days as a follow-up...just to see how things are going, how she's doing, and telling her you had a really great time is a plus.

As for hug or kiss close, I'm in it for the hug-close - so really I'm in the same boat as you!! I think kiss-closes may be rushing things. It depends on the girl. What about kissing on the cheek? Is that too "let's be friends?"