When to Next

Exodus13

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Hey dudes

So I have gotten a number and had a short little text message convo
were I think I might have CFed a little to hard at the end of the convo. Got this message back "haha okay. im actually drinking in town. But have fun whatever ur doing..."

I then call the next day to arrange a date, I get voice mail. I call today voice mail again. I am ready to next her but I just want your guys take on it, and what you would do in this situation. And if or what I did wrong.

-Exodus
 

Le killeur

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Could be a number of reasons. Id go No contact and if she doesnt text you or call then simply forget about her. I find getting too invested in reasons why they go cold are futile and counter-productive and devoting too much attention and thought to them leads to you wanting them more. Simply put it down to her loss, but understand that you need to improve in order to get a better hit rate and understand that not everyone likes you / wants to pursue contact with you. I think you know the answer.. Next
 

Exodus13

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kinda funny

So turns out she texts me during dinner, saying I have been super busy with homework or whatever.

After dinner I get back to her and text her proposing going out, she says she can't at the time I suggested but s a later time, I say sure, and where we should meet. Haven't got a text back confirming so she might flake on the date if so I'm done with her. We will see what her true colors are tomorrow.

In this instance was texting alright with asking for the date?
Thanks again for replies, its been great getting back in to the game.

-Exodus
 

DSL Connection

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Texting is fine, nothing wrong there, most people are a lot more comfortable with it today than a phone call at the early stages.

A backup plan with another chick never hurts but is always tough to do when you are interested in someone.
 

Zarky

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Le killeur said:
Could be a number of reasons. Id go No contact and if she doesnt text you or call then simply forget about her. I find getting too invested in reasons why they go cold are futile and counter-productive and devoting too much attention and thought to them leads to you wanting them more. Simply put it down to her loss, but understand that you need to improve in order to get a better hit rate and understand that not everyone likes you / wants to pursue contact with you. I think you know the answer.. Next
Very wise, nice post. Let women wonder "Why didn't he call me back???" You just date as many women as you can and let the ones who aren't that interested drop off your radar. If you are in contact with enough girls, and you keep reading and learning, the wheat will be separated from the chaff automatically without you even thinking about the ones who left. You'll be too busy thinking about the ones who're still there. :yes:
 

bigneil

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I think the OP has made his interest level absolutely clear with his Ask-Out-At-Every-Chance strategy.
 

Pimp-sicle

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bigneil said:
I think the OP has made his interest level absolutely clear with his Ask-Out-At-Every-Chance strategy.

LOL! Definitely agree!

OP you showed too much interest too soon. And you bought her "sorry I've been busy with hmwk" bs excuse.

Its simple; your not a challenge, she knows you have high interest and she doesn't.

Game over, she will flake or text you saying she can't hang out.


Carry on, nothing more to see here, just learn from your mistakes.


And to answer your question is was NOT a smart move to ask her out right away when she text you back since you should've realized she didn't have high interest based on your unanswered calls.







PIMP
 

Exodus13

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Next

Yea you guys were dead on and flaked on tonight, she said something about this weekend but I said "I'm pretty busy, Ill let you know". Yea she's done.


So improving from this situation, should I have gone no contact after the second call, and just in general with interest levels, how to convey that I am the catch? I just have a lot of questions and just want to soak up all the learning I can from this situation.

I am gonna check out the Dj bible and this later tonight. But some more help from you guys would be great?

Feels great that I am actually trying, learning, getting these experiences.

Thanks again guys

-Exodus
 

Zarky

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It's like riding a bike, it's all about feel, nobody can really explain how to do it via text. Just keep trying and eventually you'll get the right balance. Takes a long-ass time.
 

Exodus13

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you got it

I knew I was in for the long haul, and gonna keep on trying in till I get it right.

Just one last question, about a girls interest level I should give a f**k about it?




-Exodus
 

Zarky

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At first yes, then once you get good you'll sort of forget about it because you know that your "act" will work.

Here's an analogy: if you're a new stand-up comic and you're playing to small audiences at open-mic night, you care about crowd reaction and you need to gauge it as you perform and change things up if they're not going well. However, when you're Denis Leary and you're playing to a sold-out Hollywood Bowl, you know your routine is perfected and you're just going to do it and know it will turn out ok, you don't constantly have to gauge whether each joke is landing.

The downside to that is that there are some people who hate Denis Leary's humor and would never go to see him. Does he care? No, he makes (or made, back in the day) a sh*t-ton of money off the people who did like him, and there were enough of those that he doesn't really care about the ones who don't. Same will happen with you and women. The persona and "routine" you eventually choose (or which eventually chooses you) will attract X% of women. It will be successful enough that you won't care about the other XX% of women it doesn't attract.

Eventually you won't have to worry about "Am I being beta?" or "Is this action a good one" because it just will be. It's worked on 20 other chicks previously and it will probably work again. And if it doesn't, there are a half dozen other chicks on your radar it probably will work on.

You see, it's a different mindset. But you just need experience. You can get 80% of the theory within a few months just by reading pickup stuff online, and the final 20% is obtained from doing over and over and over.
 
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