When to chase and when to back off?

[NickSCFC]

This has always been my biggest problem when dating, reading a girl's interest level. I've always tried to follow these rules...

1. She plays hard to get

She likes you, but she doesn't want to get hurt, I'll chase more in this scenario as she needs reassurance that I'm interested.


2. Her interest level declines

She's not sure about you, and backs off, starts taking forever to reply to texts, I tend to back off in this scenario until she begins to wonder about me.


The problem for me is interpreting which of these 2 is the case. If you back of when she's playing hard to get, her insecurities will tell her you're not interested. If you chase (or push for answers) when she's losing interest, you kill it completely.

So how do you tell when she's gaming you, and when she's genuinely losing interest?

 

[NickSCFC]

Sometimes I can't tell if women are playing this trick on me...

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/stop.htm

"Stage Three: The Earthquake

Now that the little "princess" is comfortable, it’s time to make the ground shake under her feet. The fact that we want to be accepted, liked, and needed is human nature. Once this need is fulfilled, we turn our attention towards stabilizing it. Just think back to when a friend told you that Mary was interested in you. You probably didn’t think much of it at the time, but as soon as you found out that Mary liked someone else, you began wondering why she doesn’t like you anymore, and you suddenly became interested in Mary. We always want what we can’t have.

Well the same theory applies with women. It is time to take away all that attention from the little sweet princess. How? Simple, ask her to call you. When she does, speak to her and sound really interested, and have a longer conversation. Make her feel that you really like talking to her. End the conversation by politely letting her know that you have things to do, but let her know that you enjoyed talking to her and that you’ll call her back. Don’t tell her when you’ll call her back. Let her wait for a while (around four to five days). She will wonder why you haven’t called back, and eventually call you."

 

[BeDJ]

Some girls like to chase and some need reassurance. Let a girl know that you are interested and then back off. Any girl with half a brain will let you know if they are interested in you.

 

[NickSCFC]

This is usually after a couple of weeks of dating. If I tend to click with someone when I meet them they're initially overly keen where as I try to display just a slightly lower level of interest than them along with a bit of challenge, value etc, but mainly reciprocating/mirroring their actions.

For some reason they just always go cold out of nowhere and I can never tell whether it's playing hard to get or genuine loss of interest.

In these cases when I've found myself sending 2 texts in a row I'll go no contact.

 

[Dgwizdal]

Usually I get them to chase me for about 5-7 months before they start needing reassurance or else they end up checking out (especially for lesser attractive girls.) You need to get them chasing right off the bat: push push push pull repeat. Good formula to get their interest up.

Then - a few months down the line you will have to throw an extra pull in there because their conscious and need for emotional fulfillment will start to kick in. She will start voicing her concerns about your level of commitment and start pushing for more in an evaluation of a potential for a future or LTR with you. If you are doing in right and staying distant, it will be clear as day as to which part of your question is happening and will be time to adjust your game depending on what you see fit for the future.....

HOWEVER: if she voices her needs for more from you and you are still gaming her like a plate without giving her any validation, you will be riding a slippery slope as she will start to lose interest in a future while also starting to play hard to get. It is her last card she has in order to nab you up for a meaningful relationship before she pulls the plug.

I am what women would call "emotionally unavailable" and have many experiences with extreme high levels of interest from women for extended periods of time before they start begging for more and eventually close off emotionally because they realize that I cannot be caught. It is a blessing in disguise as THE BALL IS ALWAYS IN YOUR COURT.

By remaining detached, you will be able to take any relationship whichever way you want and never come off as a needy AFC. The reasons for distancing herself will be apparent since you have already isolated any chances of you being pandering beta faggot. Just know that a woman WILL give up on you after some months (and hate you/be secretly attracted to you for a long time after it's over) if you do not give in and start returning her texts in a timely fashion every once in a while :crackup:


Edit: if this is happening after only a few weeks, she is backing off cause you're a lame or too easy. You haven't been talking long enough for her insecurities to get to her. You should be building and piquing her interest over the span of several months +

 

[Don-Kong]

I always always assume she is in to me. I never try to deviate from this thinking. Usually we sabotage our selves by thinking , "maybe she doesn't like me, or I don't know". The vibe we give off is unsure. I do it at times, it's habit. Lost in the game and forgetting who the prize really is.

I'm with this chick at the moment and I have wondered about this also but the conclusion is always within my own control. It just depends on what you want. If you just want sex, this shouldn't even be an issue, it's just numbers. If you are looking for a steady then it ups the anti on you trying to control the situation to fit with what you want. We have total control of our thoughts if we want.

So, make a conclusion. I want x, I will act like it's already there/mine.