When to call

[Vikman]

I know this is a common situation, but I need a little help here.

I went out last night and met a girl. We had a fun time together. We exchanged numbers. When should I call her? And when I do call her, should I just ask her out on a date?

 

[the305]

Vikman: listen carefully =D

1. 90% of the time, when a girl doesn't answer a phone/call back/text back, after you got her number IS because of the initial interaction, i wont go into the key points to hit, as thats a post in itself.

2. a GREAT technique is to text the girl the night of or day after with SOMETHING that will recall a moment of the interaction. For instance, i meet a club dancer this weekend, and we made fun of some girl trying to dance, we called her, ms mc hammer. so texted her "you should see me, im breaking it down like ms mc hammer right now, she inspired me, im going on american idol!!!" Its a call back to a fun time WE had together, she will instantly feel a sense of "hahah the305, is cool and funny" as it was funny as $**** when we were talking about it.

3. i suggest you do NOT go out on dates, NO NO NO - especially if you are just starting out. a date just involves expectations! and expectations lead to pressure, the LAST thing you want is pressure on a situation. Dont even THINK of asking her out, until you feel you "know" her enough to hang out with her. So.. add her on facebook.. have a few texts back and forth.. THEN have a casual meetup, its NOT a date, you dont get to know someone on "dates", you get to know someone by casual talk.. hangouts.. etc..

Follow those simple steps, and you will have tons of girls, some will be friends and some be more then friends, but FOCUS on getting girl friends, the one you DONT sleep with. Those will lead to MASSIVE amounts of women, that will be interested in YOU.

 

[Ease]

Vikman: listen carefully =D

1. 90% of the time, when a girl doesn't answer a phone/call back/text back, after you got her number IS because of the initial interaction, i wont go into the key points to hit, as thats a post in itself.

2. a GREAT technique is to text the girl the night of or day after with SOMETHING that will recall a moment of the interaction. For instance, i meet a club dancer this weekend, and we made fun of some girl trying to dance, we called her, ms mc hammer. so texted her "you should see me, im breaking it down like ms mc hammer right now, she inspired me, im going on american idol!!!" Its a call back to a fun time WE had together, she will instantly feel a sense of "hahah the305, is cool and funny" as it was funny as $**** when we were talking about it.

3. i suggest you do NOT go out on dates, NO NO NO - especially if you are just starting out. a date just involves expectations! and expectations lead to pressure, the LAST thing you want is pressure on a situation. Dont even THINK of asking her out, until you feel you "know" her enough to hang out with her. So.. add her on facebook.. have a few texts back and forth.. THEN have a casual meetup, its NOT a date, you dont get to know someone on "dates", you get to know someone by casual talk.. hangouts.. etc..

Follow those simple steps, and you will have tons of girls, some will be friends and some be more then friends, but FOCUS on getting girl friends, the one you DONT sleep with. Those will lead to MASSIVE amounts of women, that will be interested in YOU.

A word of warning: This guy gives consistently bad advice.

If you are certain she is as excited about you as you are her, then fone her after a 2-3 days and ask her out straight up.

But most girls from clubs/bars/parties turn cold after the first night, so you might want to test the water. I usually text a few flirty messages to see whats up when im not sure. It's quite a numbers game sometimes, you'd be surprised at how girls are not as interested as they appeared when you meet them.

 

[the305]

Ease when i first started out, I thought the guys who did exceptionally well, had the WORST advice ever, it made NO sense to me, i could of SWORN they were lying, until i saw them in action.

I'm where you were 3 years ago. So I don't expect you to understand, its a learning process.. we all go through it. I do hope you the best though.

P.S. If you want to greater your chances of actually hanging out with this girl do NOT "ask her on a date" right off the bat, thats a rookie movie, and its INTUITIVE to do so, therefore EVERY guys does it.

Do you want to be the same or different? I will let you decide.

 

[NO MA'AM]

Vikman,

You actually got some good and bad advice here from both Ease and the305. I'll list the DOs and DON'Ts and the reasons for each:

DO:

2. a GREAT technique is to text the girl the night of or day after with SOMETHING that will recall a moment of the interaction. For instance, i meet a club dancer this weekend, and we made fun of some girl trying to dance, we called her, ms mc hammer. so texted her "you should see me, im breaking it down like ms mc hammer right now, she inspired me, im going on american idol!!!" Its a call back to a fun time WE had together, she will instantly feel a sense of "hahah the305, is cool and funny" as it was funny as $**** when we were talking about it.

I would try sending the text that night, like fifteen minutes after you leave the place. Waiting until the next day is risky as she probably met other guys and may not remember specifically who you are. Also, the IL may drop overnight, so try to keep it up with that same night text.

But most girls from clubs/bars/parties turn cold after the first night, so you might want to test the water. I usually text a few flirty messages to see whats up when im not sure. It's quite a numbers game sometimes, you'd be surprised at how girls are not as interested as they appeared when you meet them.

This is true and the main reason you must keep the IL high. I actually wouldn't spend too much time with her when you first meet her because you want to leave some mystery about yourself. That aura of mystery is a good way to leave with the IL on a high note.

DON'T:

So.. add her on facebook..

You don't want to become another one of her 1,139 friends. Avoid taking the potential hook-up/relationship out of the real world whenever possible. Girls today love to I.M., text, chat, tweet, etc. Men are not interested in those things. We use them only when they are the necessary tools, but our primary objective is Physical Contact Giving her another means of communication that is out of the physical realm risks detachment.

 

[lynch1000s]

Agreed, this isn't something you can answer in a vacuum.

You can't say, well, I will call her 36 hours from now, and she will magically fall in love with me.

I mean, I'd call the next day. Without getting into too much of the fancy schmancy science of it all. If you just met her (the night you got her number), try to call her back within the next few days. If she likes you, she will respond, if she doesn't, she won't.

Who knows...?

 

[the305]

No MA'AM: some good points, but guys are only put in friend zone because they don't attract the women, the dont create chemisty, they don't take the sexual tone (or overdo it like a douchbag)

texting, casual talking, etc.. BEFORE turning on the sexual attraction, makes it MUCH more likely the girl WILL hook up with you. She feels a sense of familiarity(not some random guy), she feels you aren't all about sex and sex only(you didnt try and take her on dates and then invite her back to your house), shes feels you can be a friend (very important) first "sex" partner second. Also she gets to talk to her friends about "some cool guy" You dont get that label from trying to just seduce her and that only.

This mindset gets women to chase YOU, not YOU chasing women. There is a huge disconnect in the community, everyone thinks you need to chase and seduce women with tactics. instead of showing you have the qualities SHE wants.

 

[NO MA'AM]

You make a lot of good points yourself, 305. One of the main reasons guys fail with woman is cutting corners. They essentially try to jump from step 1 (Original meeting, number closing, building interest) to step 3 (F**king). Step 2 (building attraction and familiarity) is probably the most important and usually the most difficult step, which is perhaps why some guys try to spend very little time on it or avoid it altogether.

However, it is this part of what you said that concerns me:

shes feels you can be a friend (very important) first "sex" partner second. Also she gets to talk to her friends about "some cool guy" You dont get that label from trying to just seduce her and that only.

This is where some guys can and often do easily slip up. Being friendly and being a friend are two different things in the mind of the seduced woman. This is why the time lapse between initial meet and F**king has to be shorter than you think. If too many casual meetups take place before a guy becomes sexual and gets a woman over to his place to take care of business, she will interpret he is either disinterested or only wants to be a friend.

This mindset gets women to chase YOU, not YOU chasing women. There is a huge disconnect in the community, everyone thinks you need to chase and seduce women with tactics. instead of showing you have the qualities SHE wants.

I agree that tactics are way overdone and overused. You know it when you see an attempted pick-up where the guy approaches and the target rolls her eyes to her girlfriend standing nearby who then smiles. The usual tactics are well-known in the social scene and many of them are boring and ineffective. Demonstrating you have confidence and good qualities will definitely elevate your status in any situation. However, they will not get women to chase you. Men must continue to approach and initiate, but not chase.

 

[Sherlock-Holmes]

Hey Vikman,

This is such a simple thing, and I have no idea why you're hesistating so much as when to call, what time or whatsoever.

The tip is: Just don't be too needy.
THAT'S ALL!

For a start just call her 2 days from now. If she has interest in you then hanging out shouldn't be a problem. If she doesn't want to hang on, grab hold of yourself and walk away.