I had a long term relationship that lasted 2 years up until 3 weeks ago. Since then there has been no contact. She even changed her number and has delted me from MySpace, Facebook....all of that jazz. Isn't that a little rash? I get it, move on...but can some people just close up like that?
When They Delete You From Everything...
- Thread starter Disco
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Vice
Master Don Juan
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She's hoping you'd notice and have a reaction and try to get her back so that she can feed her ego.
Don't do it.
Instead, enjoy your life and make it better than before. Because that's the sweetest revenge you can ever make.
She'll eventually contact YOU. It'll take time, but mark my words: if you don't contact her, SHE WILL. And don't fold. Let her know you're doing great, and that her not being in your life isn't making a difference. This will drive her insane.
Key: Ignore her and all of her actions. You have better things to do with your time.
Don't do it.
Instead, enjoy your life and make it better than before. Because that's the sweetest revenge you can ever make.
She'll eventually contact YOU. It'll take time, but mark my words: if you don't contact her, SHE WILL. And don't fold. Let her know you're doing great, and that her not being in your life isn't making a difference. This will drive her insane.
Key: Ignore her and all of her actions. You have better things to do with your time.
ok. she broke up with me form some trust reason she manifested. yesterday she emailed a friend and said "i have trust issues with him, but i hope we are friends down the road. right now i need to be alone and figure things out".
so you are saying her deleting me is to get a reaction out of me, to see if i notice...like try to send her another request.
for the first couple of weeks i did send her a few emails about "i get it and i agree this is what we need". i have stopped as of the first 10 days. does that hurt me.
i also moved out of the city we were in, got a better job making a lot more dough. just to take myself out of her life and focus on me.
you are saying she WILL eventually contact me even though she has removed and deleted me from everything?
so you are saying her deleting me is to get a reaction out of me, to see if i notice...like try to send her another request.
for the first couple of weeks i did send her a few emails about "i get it and i agree this is what we need". i have stopped as of the first 10 days. does that hurt me.
i also moved out of the city we were in, got a better job making a lot more dough. just to take myself out of her life and focus on me.
you are saying she WILL eventually contact me even though she has removed and deleted me from everything?
SmoothTalker
Master Don Juan
When somebody does this, there are several possibly reasons why they did it, but only one proper response.
Did she do it to get a rise out of you? Because she hates you and actually never wants to talk to you? To hide how miserable she actually is? Some other reason? Who cares.
No matter what the reason, they've made it clear they don't want to communicate with you, and as somebody with self respect, you don't have time for people that aren't interested in you.
Forget her and move on. Yes, she probably will contact you at some point, you can try talking to her if you want if she does, but for now, let it go.
Did she do it to get a rise out of you? Because she hates you and actually never wants to talk to you? To hide how miserable she actually is? Some other reason? Who cares.
No matter what the reason, they've made it clear they don't want to communicate with you, and as somebody with self respect, you don't have time for people that aren't interested in you.
Forget her and move on. Yes, she probably will contact you at some point, you can try talking to her if you want if she does, but for now, let it go.
Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Disco, the best advice I got about break-ups was this (from a wise woman): if your girlfriend breaks up with you, all you can do is accept it. If you try to get her back, she will think that if she takes you back now nothing has changed. She will have shown that she will give in, and so you will not have a need to change.
So the only thing you can do is accept the break-up. Only then will the girl start thinking that okay, we have truly broken up now: now, is there a way we can get back together and start from scratch? Also, only then will she start feeling the emptiness of being without you.
But perhaps it was you who broke up with her. Or both of you agreed. Regardless, the same applies: acceptance is the only way to go. Only then can you both approach each other again, after a clean break with the past.
But it is harsh of her to delete you from everything. Change her number? Come on, who does that! Never heard of it. And it is customary to at least send an email or something, a week or so after the break-up. See how the other person is doing. Even if you have broken up, you are still two adults who have spent a lot of time together for a long time, and basic decency says you should at least find out if the other person is doing okay.
So the only thing you can do is accept the break-up. Only then will the girl start thinking that okay, we have truly broken up now: now, is there a way we can get back together and start from scratch? Also, only then will she start feeling the emptiness of being without you.
But perhaps it was you who broke up with her. Or both of you agreed. Regardless, the same applies: acceptance is the only way to go. Only then can you both approach each other again, after a clean break with the past.
But it is harsh of her to delete you from everything. Change her number? Come on, who does that! Never heard of it. And it is customary to at least send an email or something, a week or so after the break-up. See how the other person is doing. Even if you have broken up, you are still two adults who have spent a lot of time together for a long time, and basic decency says you should at least find out if the other person is doing okay.
Julius_Seizeher
Master Don Juan
Rubbish. I don't know how they do it in Sweden, but in the US, when a woman breaks up with you, 9.9/10 times it is after she has established something with another guy. It's the real Neverending Story.
The OPs situation may or may not involve branch swinging, but it is a moot point; his only recourse is to go stone cold, no contact and get into the game of life in a big way! You say you've moved away and are making more money now; that's great! Keep this momentum going, don't let yourself fall into sitting around thinking about this girl and your thoughts getting more and more negative...besides, if you want to have this girl under your thumb as a fb in the future, doing what I have suggested is the only way to make it happen. The irony is, by the time they come back, you usually don't care to buy what they are selling.
Onward!
The OPs situation may or may not involve branch swinging, but it is a moot point; his only recourse is to go stone cold, no contact and get into the game of life in a big way! You say you've moved away and are making more money now; that's great! Keep this momentum going, don't let yourself fall into sitting around thinking about this girl and your thoughts getting more and more negative...besides, if you want to have this girl under your thumb as a fb in the future, doing what I have suggested is the only way to make it happen. The irony is, by the time they come back, you usually don't care to buy what they are selling.
Onward!
Oh no, hitting me where it hurts, my nationality. Good thing I put that piece of personal information in my profile so you had at least something to use against me.Julius_Seizeher said:
And of course you living in the U.S. automatically means that your generalization is correct. So women only break up because they have secretly been sleeping with another guy? "They are all slvts! It's never your fault, only theirs! Next that b!tch!" Sure. Your statement - 99 percent of women breaking up do it because they have been cheating - makes you sound like another macho-guru-wannabe to me, making sweeping generalizations. Your type is the male equivalent to the feminist.
Julius_Seizeher
Master Don Juan
I wasn't attacking your nationality. If I had been, I would've said something in keeping with the perpetual cliches about Sweden.
But don't worry, it doesn't make you less of a *****. What you describe as "the male equivalent of the feminist" is in truth my adherence to nature's design.
And you'll also notice that my "broad generalization" is offered as a rule of thumb, not scripture written in stone. And never did I say or imply that men are without fault in the demise of relationships; my conviction is that it is upon the man to embody all the things a MAN is supposed to be about, and if she still wishes to be away from him, to hell with her anyway.
But your mindset is the problem here: You are talking about waiting for an ex to come back, which is the most foolish of all fool's errands. How dare you come onto our forum and suggest to another guy that he "virtuously" wait for his maiden to return from (in ALL probability) fvcking other guys, or that he "understand" a woman who has deleted him from her life?!
But don't worry, it doesn't make you less of a *****. What you describe as "the male equivalent of the feminist" is in truth my adherence to nature's design.
And you'll also notice that my "broad generalization" is offered as a rule of thumb, not scripture written in stone. And never did I say or imply that men are without fault in the demise of relationships; my conviction is that it is upon the man to embody all the things a MAN is supposed to be about, and if she still wishes to be away from him, to hell with her anyway.
But your mindset is the problem here: You are talking about waiting for an ex to come back, which is the most foolish of all fool's errands. How dare you come onto our forum and suggest to another guy that he "virtuously" wait for his maiden to return from (in ALL probability) fvcking other guys, or that he "understand" a woman who has deleted him from her life?!
WC2
Master Don Juan
So you're reading her emails. I have been there before, just stop it. You're going down a road of agony if you're still in these stages.
She didn't dump you for trust issues, she dumped you because she couldn't trust herself not being able to f*ck another dude.
Better to be brutally honest than brutally ignorant.
She most likely removed you from everything because YES, she wants to see if you care. And YES, she probably wants to move on and remove you so you don't interfere with any future guys she may want to lay her hands on.
It's rough, but to fully be a man you must understand these things and get over them.
She didn't dump you for trust issues, she dumped you because she couldn't trust herself not being able to f*ck another dude.
Better to be brutally honest than brutally ignorant.
She most likely removed you from everything because YES, she wants to see if you care. And YES, she probably wants to move on and remove you so you don't interfere with any future guys she may want to lay her hands on.
It's rough, but to fully be a man you must understand these things and get over them.
Poonani Maker
Master Don Juan
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All these guys are telling you what you need to hear. Heed Julius Seizeher as I believe he's been reading the ole Pook. Just Be your own creation, your own hobbies, your own MAN, and if she snubs that, then whuh, let her roll off of you, and find another b!tch to mount.
Phenomenal One
Don Juan
I was in a situation like this a few years ago with my former female neighbor,
the mistake i made for a short time was tryin to get back in-contact with someone who obviously did'nt want to.
After a while I thought that if she wanted to get back in-contact with me that she had the ability to, but after a while i did'nt care if i ever heard from her again.
the mistake i made for a short time was tryin to get back in-contact with someone who obviously did'nt want to.
After a while I thought that if she wanted to get back in-contact with me that she had the ability to, but after a while i did'nt care if i ever heard from her again.
BlackJackal
Master Don Juan
^thisSmoothTalker said:
and remember, you cant control anyone but yourself. ANd nothing is permanent