When should you start approaching?

[*RHCP*]

What do you guys think is the minimum social ability that a guy needs to be able to benefit from cold approaching/bootcamp? At least in theory, there has to be some point at which it would cause mare damage than benefit.

You can find more about my individual situation here.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=156524


I am going to try it eventually anyway, but I would rather start it without the lingering doubt in my mind that it will not benefit me yet. That’s why I’m interested in getting some opinions from people who have experience with this.

 

[horaholic]

The worse you are socially, the more you will benefit from cold approaching. Theres no better way to face your fears, and learn how to interact with people. Go do it.

 

[sorin]

You can take a bootcamp straight a way and face and defeat your fears...

After you learn how to cold approach and connect to women you don't know... you should try the skills you know to social circles as well...

That way you can have a holistic evolution of communication and seduction skills...

So start doing it, and then think about the social circle...

 

[Furyguy]

I'm probably in disagreement with more people on this point in that I think cold approaching, or any kind of approaching, isn't going to do **** for you if you're just a blundering idiot with no idea how to talk to people, much less girls.

I suggest keep reading the theory and techniques and start applying to them to the girls you already know, or meet throughout everyday life. Get comfortable with kino and teasing and negs and all the other things and keep developing your basic conversation skills. I really think you need to go in with SOME basic confidence in your pick up skills or you're not going to get very far.

I think when you start getting clearly favorable reactions from girls that you aren't approaching or trying to pick up, you're ready to start making cold approaches work.

 

[horaholic]

I'm probably in disagreement with more people on this point in that I think cold approaching, or any kind of approaching, isn't going to do **** for you if you're just a blundering idiot with no idea how to talk to people, much less girls.

I suggest keep reading the theory and techniques and start applying to them to the girls you already know, or meet throughout everyday life. Get comfortable with kino and teasing and negs and all the other things and keep developing your basic conversation skills. I really think you need to go in with SOME basic confidence in your pick up skills or you're not going to get very far.

I think when you start getting clearly favorable reactions from girls that you aren't approaching or trying to pick up, you're ready to start making cold approaches work.

Wrong. There is not ONE SINGLE method that doesnt emphasize the importance of the cold approach. Just because you're not getting good results when you approach, does not mean you shouldnt do it anyway.

Cold approaching develops a callous to rejections. You're not going to get favorable reactions from women, if you dont meet them. If ANYTHING, you learn that people dont bite, if you go talk to them. That is a VERY important thing to learn. Approaching is step one. The other steps mean nothing, if you cant do step one, obviously.

Approaching is good for you, even if you get rejected, because you LEARN things. The most important factor in PU is having the balls to approach. Anyone who thinks different is clueless.

I've just started cold approaching. I've always been too pvssy to do it, but recently I've started. Now my problem is leading the conversation past the opener. Thats step two. Im taking it one step at a time.

 

[yuppaz]

Hey Horaholic, good for you man! I'm right there in the same boat with you

step one: talk to strangers and people paid to be nice to you
step two: talk to women
step three: talk to women you think are hot
step four: try to extend the convo
step five: start closing with phone numbers
step six: start calling those numbers (actually a bad sticking point for me right now, I am not calling when / how I should)
step seven: get dates
step eight: get second dates
step nine: **** the sh*t out of em
step ten: keep the winners in the loop
step eleven: do it again & manage plates

 

[Duffdog]

Hey Horaholic, good for you man! I'm right there in the same boat with you

step one: talk to strangers and people paid to be nice to you
step two: talk to women
step three: talk to women you think are hot
step four: try to extend the convo
step five: start closing with phone numbers
step six: start calling those numbers (actually a bad sticking point for me right now, I am not calling when / how I should)
step seven: get dates
step eight: get second dates
step nine: **** the sh*t out of em
step ten: keep the winners in the loop
step eleven: do it again & manage plates

Is that what is supposed to happen?

This is how its working for me:

1. meet girl in club/bar/whatever
2. take girl to my house or her house
3. fvck sh1t out of girl
4. ask for phone number upon awakening
5. try to set up second date
6. call girl
7. get upset because girl only wanted sex
8. repeat step 1

I had hoped that coming to this site would make it easier to find a girl for a meaningful LTR, but all it has allowed me to do is close a girl within like 6 minutes...its getting ridiculous. Last saturday I didn't even have to try, I left with a b1tch on each arm after talking to them for about 2 minutes!! And both of them were totally down. I have to admit that it looks pretty darn cool when you are leaving a bar with a different girl every time you go, but how do you get a relationship from that? Where does it come from?

 

[Five To One]

^^Your looking for a quality girl in a bar. Thats your problem.


To OP: Once you have the basics down, make approaches on good targets. Im in the beginning stages like yourself and I dont approach 10 or 20 girls in a day like some of these guys do. I may do one good approach per week when I see a opertunity. Im 18 and still in high school btw. thats just how I chose to learn. Once I get into college and new girls are all around me im going to turn the game up and do lots of approaches because I will be ready for it.


Other guys say you should just dive in and have a bunch of awkward encounters with girls so you get use to rejection and failure. I dunno whats better to get started.

 

[horaholic]

I cant even BELIEVE this is a debate on here.

^^Your looking for a quality girl in a bar. Thats your problem.


To OP: Once you have the basics down, make approaches on good targets.

In which case you will probably get blown our from lack of approaching experience

Im in the beginning stages like yourself and I dont approach 10 or 20 girls in a day like some of these guys do. I may do one good approach per week when I see a opertunity. Im 18 and still in high school btw.

And how much tail do you get compared to say Jon024, who started his game on cold approaches only, failing miserably at the beginning?

thats just how I chose to learn. Once I get into college and new girls are all around me im going to turn the game up and do lots of approaches because I will be ready for it.

And, once again, you will be behind your potential, because you haven't 'practiced' your cold approaches. You will be stranded in 'Tuna Town' and not getting as much as you should. Granted, its hard NOT to get laid in college, and you will, but not as much as the guys who have the balls to approach. I bet you'll still have too much approach anxiety when your in college, but hopefully, sometime soon, you'll figure out that you need to do it.

Other guys say you should just dive in and have a bunch of awkward encounters with girls so you get use to rejection and failure. I dunno whats better to get started.

EVERY guy thats good with girls APPROACHES. End of story. If you're not approaching, it means you dont have the balls. Just accept that, and dont make excuses for it.

Think of cold approaches as practice runs, that may actually go somewhere. You aren't going to play a football game, without scrimmages, right? If you wait until you're in the game, before you try the plays out, you will get stomped on. Get your approach anxiety out of the way, learn to think on your feet NOW, so when you see a girl you really want, you are prepared for the interaction, and will have a MUCH better chance of getting her naked.

This argument is STUPID. If you arent cold approaching, you are a pvssy, and thats that. Im guilty too, but at least I admit it.

 

[Five To One]

ugh...
maybe your right, theres only one way to go about these things. I just cant stand the people who think sosuave is the word of god.

All I know is im very happy with my life right now and the girls that I have in it and that all happened without me having to go on a cold approach mission and approach 20 girls.

Maybe its just a stroke of luck that im successful with women without getting burned a bunch first in cold approaching or maybe it was because when you make approaches after getting eye contact and a good opener with you, your going to get a lot of success.


Im not going to say your argument is STUPID because its not. Its just another way to do things.

 

[WC2]

^^Your looking for a quality girl in a bar. Thats your problem.


To OP: Once you have the basics down, make approaches on good targets. Im in the beginning stages like yourself and I dont approach 10 or 20 girls in a day like some of these guys do. I may do one good approach per week when I see a opertunity. Im 18 and still in high school btw. thats just how I chose to learn. Once I get into college and new girls are all around me im going to turn the game up and do lots of approaches because I will be ready for it.


Other guys say you should just dive in and have a bunch of awkward encounters with girls so you get use to rejection and failure. I dunno whats better to get started.

To me this sounds like a lot of talking about what you'll do and not DOING.

When I'll get in college I'll do this..

Well if you're not doing it now, you're probably not going to do it in college unless you have a great amount of passion about it.

Look, yes there are certain ways to approach women. There are right and wrong ways.

But the preliminary beginning to approaching girls isn't to show you what WORKS and what DOESN'T. That's not the goal at all. The goal like horaholic states, is to build an immunity to rejection and thus have the freedom to say ANYTHING you'd like to women.

Naturally, you'll start noticing what works and what doesn't. Watching other successful men approach helps tremendously, but you can't just sit on the sidelines for the whole game, thinking that you'll come in and not pull a muscle.

You must stay active approaching and talking to women or YOU'LL LOSE IT!

Ever see men who had lots of game before they got in to a relationship? And they are in one for two years and something happens. They try to step right back in to the game and find themselves to be rusty.

You must keep the rust off and keep your wheels fresh or you'll lose. You don't use it, you'll lose it.

If you haven't really approached, then you don't even have it yet.

So yes, start approaching now. Today. Girl in the supermarket. Lady who works at walmart. Doesn't really matter.

It's not really about what you say right now, but your mindset going in to the approach. Once you start approaching a lot, it's going to be like habit. And habit is what makes us who we are.

 

[Five To One]

You make valid points wc2. I stand corrected.

theres no better day than the present day RHCP, go for it.