When should I call?

[Lostsoul85]

I met this cute bartender gal last night and we chatted for at least a good 20 mins.She did most of the talking and seemed quite receptive.At the end of the night, I asked when are you free for some table tennis and she said tommorow(today).I texted her my number last night..Looking back knowing this I should of made a definite time on the spot since she said Tommorow.

Now before i took her number she told me to text her and if she didn't mention that she is free today then I wouldn't post this question since I normally will wait a few days to call(like Corey Wayne suggests) since most women are used to men calling them the next day.Women say one thing but they are also not logical and operate of emotion.So although She may of told she is free today to play table tennis I'm not sure if it is too early and eager.Am i better off waiting a few days to call.What are your thoughts on this?

 

[TheCWord]

No table tennis for you today. You text her n a few days, "Hey it's Lostsoul. How about that game of table tennis?"

 

[Lostsoul85]

For future reference is it ok to text a woman your number after you get it so she knows who is contacting her.Last night I just sent a text saying hey xxxx great to see you!this is my number.David No problem with this right?

 

[TheCWord]

For future reference is it ok to text a woman your number after you get it so she knows who is contacting her.Last night I just sent a text saying hey xxxx great to see you!this is my number.David No problem with this right?

I think that's great, actually. That's what I do. Within a few hours of meeting them I'll send a quick nice-to-meet-you text with my name so that, like you said, they have an immediate recall of who you are when you text them a couple days later.

 

[Lostsoul85]

I think that's great, actually. That's what I do. Within a few hours of meeting them I'll send a quick nice-to-meet-you text with my name so that, like you said, they have an immediate recall of who you are when you text them a couple days later.

Thanks for the advice man

 

[gravityeyelids]

I used to do the whole "you NEED to wait at least 3 days or you'll be looked at as a chode"....but especially if you're gaming chicks at the bar, there's no way shes gonna remember you or be as hot for you 3 or 4 days later. I like to send a text right after i gets the number with my name...something like "hey this is [name]. save my number."

The less time i had to win her over, the sooner i'll text. The more investment in you she has, the longer you can generally wait. Let's say you meet a girl at a party and she's not super drunk. You chat her up for an hour and you guys REALLY hit it off and shes into you. Here, i would hit her up after a few days and make her think "that guy was cool, i hope he calls me"

But if you just meet some drunk chick, talk to her for 5 mins, then number close and eject...well good luck. You better strike while the iron is hot.

Other members may disagree based on experience...but thats just like, my opinion, man.

 

[pdx1138]

op I hope you succeed with this bartender chick, but just remember they are both paid and there to talk.

Many a sosuave member thought they would get something and didn't.

 

[Lostsoul85]

This girl was not working that night she just came there to hangout.First time i met her was 3 weeks ago.Im not sure if she remembered me at the beggining but since i started asking her questions about things she mentioned when i first met her she may remember me.We talked for a good 20 mins and it seemed like we had good eye contact.

op I hope you succeed with this bartender chick, but just remember they are both paid and there to talk.

Many a sosuave member thought they would get something and didn't.

 

[Trump]

Table tennis? Come on bro, you have to be like "are you free to have sex tomorrow?" Anything else is a waste of time, especially with a hot bartender.

 

[CaptainSaveAh0]

saw the title of the thread and my answer is....

NEVER

next time give her your number and let her call you instead. If there is no interest then I just don't waste my time.

 

[TheCWord]

next time give her your number and let her call you instead. If there is no interest then I just don't waste my time.

And how has that worked out for ya?

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

saw the title of the thread and my answer is....

NEVER

next time give her your number and let her call you instead. If there is no interest then I just don't waste my time.

Well, the interest better be through the god dang stratosphere. Because the second you give out your number without getting hers, her interest level is going to drop. You're passing her the power and the decision making. "Hey, here's my number I'm so desperate to give out. Call me whenever you like, I'll be waiting for it. Please call me soon though, but if you want to wait that's okay, I'll be available."

That's a beta move bro.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

This is one of those situations where the girl was throwing you a definitive "buying signal." You threw an activity out there - table tennis - and without specifying a day or time asked her when she'd be free to do it. The fact that she jumped at the chance to see you for said activity the next night is FAN-FRIGGIN'-TASTIC! :cheer:

At this point, when a girl seems on-the-spot-ready to accept and do a date of some kind with you - and you're standing in front of her - you need to plan out every single thing about the date with her when you're there. In this case, you should have simply said "Oh wow, tomorrow night? Hold on, let me check my calender here (pull out phone and go to calender - this way, you accepting her "on-the-spot" date won't look like desperation or a lack of other things going on in your life) - hmm, well, you're in luck! I've got a full day tomorrow but I'm actually free after 6 pm to take you out. Just let me know now where and when I should pick you up." Then SHUT UP and wait for her to give you the details. If she says something like "I'd rather meet you wherever we're going," accept it anyway - doesn't mean she doesn't like you, just means she wants to get to know you a bit more before jumping in a car with you or letting you know where she lives (bar babes worry about customer stalkers, so don't treat this part like a big deal). Either way, definitely set the time and place, then say "great - I have your number, so if something catastrophic happens I'll hit you up; otherwise, I'll pick you up/see you tomorrow at (time)!" And then don't hit her up AT ALL - just show up when you're supposed to show up and show her a good time.

And that's it. Yes, it's REALLY this simple. But the point is, she (a) said yes to the date, and (b) gave you a time for it to happen. Getting those two things alone can be like pulling teeth, so be happy she did that much for you! Let us know if, when, and how the date went!

 

[CaptainSaveAh0]

And how has that worked out for ya?

Pretty well actually.

I'd rather have them call me or text me that way I know the interest level is there and I am no wasting my time.

 

[CaptainSaveAh0]

Well, the interest better be through the god dang stratosphere. Because the second you give out your number without getting hers, her interest level is going to drop. You're passing her the power and the decision making. "Hey, here's my number I'm so desperate to give out. Call me whenever you like, I'll be waiting for it. Please call me soon though, but if you want to wait that's okay, I'll be available."

That's a beta move bro.

I guess it all depends on the impression you leave her with. I usually do this when I am at a school atmosphere or when I hit the town. I usually built the conversation just enough to leave her interested and wanting more. That is when I give her my number and go on my way. In this case if she does call or text me that way I know I am not wasting my time. I don't see it as me passing her the power, rather me not giving a fvck whether she calls me or doesn't.

 

[Lostsoul85]

So when I went home that night(tuesday) I realized that I should of made the date on the spot when she said she was free to do it this past wednesday.Anyways i cant go back and change this but i will remember this as a learning lesson.I haven't called her yet since i didn't want to come across as too eager?Since she is a bartender and since most women are busy Thursday-Saturday should I just wait until sunday or monday msg her ànd ask her when she is free for table tennis?We talked for about 15-20 mins and I think she will remember me.

 

[VladPatton]

For future reference is it ok to text a woman your number after you get it so she knows who is contacting her.Last night I just sent a text saying hey xxxx great to see you!this is my number.David No problem with this right?

I like to message them instantly after the number exchange so they know who the hell it is when you finally do text or call. This is you, this is me, boom, done.

Also, take high caution when dealing with bartender chicks.

 

[Lostsoul85]

@VladPatton I did already text her my number that night
So should I wait till Sunday to contact her since most women are busy Thursday-Sat?

 

[SingleMalt]

So when I went home that night(tuesday) I realized that I should of made the date on the spot when she said she was free to do it this past wednesday.Anyways i cant go back and change this but i will remember this as a learning lesson.I haven't called her yet since i didn't want to come across as too eager?

Two things: (1) When you are on the prowl in a particular location with a particular group of people, have THE plan, already. Your invite should have been down, so there would be no mistakes. (2) Work on what YOU want to be. Opening moves like calling back do not cement your personality type or situation. If you want the second "meet" - get it. Act 2 is now wide open. Don't be Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde but you can surprise your date if they have preconceived notions and now you get to write the script.

 

[VladPatton]

@VladPatton I did already text her my number that night
So should I wait till Sunday to contact her since most women are busy Thursday-Sat?

Bartenders work on Saturdays, so she may be a zombie on Sunday. Try it, if anything she'll give you a counteroffer, which in turn will tell you her IL in you.