When is it ok to have feelings for a chick?

[Rebound Material]

This has been something ive been contemplating on for a while now. I know alot of us on here have had the problem of falling way too fast and too easy and so we have this defensive shield up to be able to "control" our emotions. But when is it ok to let the guard down just bit? How long after youve been dating a chick is it ok to let some emotions seep through? I figured that we can't be on the defensive forever but we CAN be on the lookout....

 

[NeedToImprove]

wait for her to tell / show you first. i to became infatuated very easy in my life, but we learn with mistakes dont we?

 

[foamy]

aye, as do I, Im working on it, and hopefuly getting better at that.

Then there women are tricky.

 

[Raikojo17]

does it really matter? you woudlnt be dating her in the first place if u didnt like her.


sure dont fall in love with her at first, that comes with time. but also dont get hung up on small things like when it's ok to show feelings.

feelings will grow with time and they will show more gradually as they develop. from both u and her.

 

[md3sign]

As a bit of an aside to this, you don't ever really have to tell her how you feel. Instead show her. Example: one of my plates regularly tells me she misses me and likes me. I never once told her I miss her or like her. You really don't need to. Instead I show her that I'm grateful to be with her when we do spend time together by always looking my best, being in the best of moods, and making sure we have fun whatever we do. Ultimately it's about being a constant challenge. I know it may sound silly, but when you begin telling her you miss her and you like her and all this other stuff, her interest level will often drop a few notches because, well, she knows she has you by the balls and doesn't have to try as hard. Just picture the "manliest" man you can think of, and try to picture him saying "I miss you, I really like you" to his woman.

 

[Rebound Material]

does it really matter? you woudlnt be dating her in the first place if u didnt like her.


sure dont fall in love with her at first, that comes with time. but also dont get hung up on small things like when it's ok to show feelings.

feelings will grow with time and they will show more gradually as they develop. from both u and her.

Theres actually a 2 step process that I follow nowadays for safety.

Im first INTERESTED, then from there, I decide if I LIKE the chick.

Just like chicks, you can be dating someone because you're INTERESTED in them not necessarily that you like them YET. Its during that time where our job as guys comes into play. Thats the time we attempt to boost their interest level in us. Thats a little something I learned from Mystery.

 

[Rebound Material]

As a bit of an aside to this, you don't ever really have to tell her how you feel. Instead show her. Example: one of my plates regularly tells me she misses me and likes me. I never once told her I miss her or like her. You really don't need to. Instead I show her that I'm grateful to be with her when we do spend time together by always looking my best, being in the best of moods, and making sure we have fun whatever we do. Ultimately it's about being a constant challenge. I know it may sound silly, but when you begin telling her you miss her and you like her and all this other stuff, her interest level will often drop a few notches because, well, she knows she has you by the balls and doesn't have to try as hard. Just picture the "manliest" man you can think of, and try to picture him saying "I miss you, I really like you" to his woman.

Ive actually got this down. I never say how I feel.

 

[Kev07]

no one can tell you something like this.

just know that love probably will not be possible in 1-3 dates (unless something crazy happens on those dates.)

 

[LuisGarcia10]

There is no time limit.

I mean realistically it isn't going to happen over night but it will happen much quicker for some than others.

Remember to ask yourself, though, when you do feel real feelings for her, "is this justified?" I know it's hard to be objective when you feel for someone but ask yourself, as objectively as possible, is she worth this? Are these feelings real?

And never lose sight of the fact that as real as they seem, if the girl does do something that isn't worthy of your affections, that it is your power to break them off.

 

[EternalBachelor]

Dude. This is a tricky area. Even if a girl really likes you, once she figures you are in love with her she could still get freaked out and lose interest. Basically most girls hate guys who are needy. And when guys fall for girls they usually end up being needy and lose the qualities that made the girls fall for them in the first place.

 

[Rebound Material]

Dude. This is a tricky area. Even if a girl really likes you, once she figures you are in love with her she could still get freaked out and lose interest. Basically most girls hate guys who are needy. And when guys fall for girls they usually end up being needy and lose the qualities that made the girls fall for them in the first place.

EXACTLY!

I should have mentioned that this was something for myself to know rather than for the both of us.

 

[bigjohnson]

If I don't "have feelings" I won't pursue her. But let your actions tell the story. If you start foaming over at the mouth about how you feel she'll get bored. It's like salt - a little and she'll find it savory, too much and she spits you out.

A lesson I have sadly learned the hard way. As someone else posted, it's tricky, but basically you want to be in the position where she is supplicating you and you are rewarding her. If an "I love you" is an appropriate reward, go for it. The action is less important than the dynamic behind it in my experience.

As an aside, this sounds sort of hateful or anti-woman, but really it's the way humans are wired to work and if you kindly (re)enforce that behavior everyone wins.

 

[djbr]

Dude. This is a tricky area. Even if a girl really likes you, once she figures you are in love with her she could still get freaked out and lose interest. Basically most girls hate guys who are needy. And when guys fall for girls they usually end up being needy and lose the qualities that made the girls fall for them in the first place.

Word.