when i go out...

[TheGameMaster]

my deep underlying issues surface for everyone to see through my body language. il now go another week hiding said issues from my mind. i have been to an 18th birthday tonight and i wanted to leave after about 20 minutes because i felt pretty arkward. i am currently a complete introvert. i see my friends get close to girls but personally i never do. my mind wont let let anyone in emotionally. cant work out why? if i knew i might be able to sort it out. any possibilities? the anxiety sets in and i cant even smile. my brain scrambles in social settings. my desire to get out of being the one who everyone is asking "are you ok?" is a burning one. when everyone was dancing i didnt because i felt like i was being looked at or laughed at. trouble is i dont do as much as i expect of myself in life. i want to go on adventures and do spontaneous stuff. work 5 days a week, out on a friday night to the pub, gambling and some football once a week just isnt enough. im hoping uni will save me. i dont know where to go with things from here. im kinda hoping you guys have some suggestions on how i can improve things. confidence is very low. i hope so much that i can come back to this post in 5 years to tell the tale to others how to get over the problems im having. if i could just be the way i am at home, if i could be that when out and about then i know id be popular and id attract girls yet my mind wont let me. lifes so frustrating at the moment! anyone who has got to here thanks, i know its been boring but thanks for showing some interest.

 

[WC2]

Sounds to me like you're sweating the small stuff a little too much. Granted though, you should be concerned about your well being. From what you say, you're living quite an unsatisfying life. It's understandable that you want to be different and you want to be an outgoing man who everyone wants to be. There's no reason to feel out of place.. a lot of guys here are in the same situation. Do you really think that all the guys on the sosuave are the life of the party when they go out?

Your first step to freedom is letting go of your need to care. Stop caring about what others think of you. Even better, you're going to university soon and you probably won't see these people that much anymore. So why not experiment and step out of your boundaries? Do something you'd never do normally. The only way to live on your edge is to attempt to live on your edge. You're feeling ****ty after social events because you didn't attempt to do anything you'd never normally do. So just do something. It could be acting obnoxious, pulling a girl onto the dance floor unexpectedly, saying something totally random. You're never going to know the feeling until you attempt it.

A lot of people on here will recommend forum posts to read or books to read or even movies to watch. I believe in the old school teaching that learning the hard way is usually the best way. Get out there, do something you'd never do and whether you get a positive or negative reaction (and you will, trust me), at least you won't feel regret for never trying it.

University changed my life a great amount, and I hope it does the same for you.

 

[WC2]

Also, a post from a long time ago -

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=106210