When ego starts getting in the way...

[squirrels]

OK I'll admit it...I started reading the DJ articles with one particular girl in mind that I really wanted to be with. As I read on, I started realizing that it wasn't about HER, it was about ME, that MY attitudes needed to change. So I started trying to practice what I read in here. First night at the club since I started reading this stuff, I managed to make eye contact with a girl and get a smile out of her...not a big deal, but a start. Went out to the bar Wednesday night and had substantially better results. Got to first base with one girl whose number I got (probably could've gone home with her, but made a bonehead drunk move) and had another, even better looking girl grinding on me...wow...it IS different when you start to focus on feeling good about yourself and being able to approach women with confidence and strength.

But then my mind keeps coming back to this one girl. By the time I had found this stuff, it was probably too late (she's not a complete loss yet, but it isn't looking good).

So I tell myself, "Hey, I'm OK...I'm good enough that I can pick up other women, no problem!" but then I think to myself, "Yeah, but you can't pick HER up."

So I tell myself, "I'm better than that. I may not be perfect, but I have something real to offer women that they'd be foolish to turn down!" but then I think to myself, "Yeah, but why doesn't SHE see it?"

So I tell myself, "Hey, she's not worth your time. She can't control you. You are your OWN person. You can't define who you are in terms of whether she likes you or not." but then I think to myself, "Yeah, but you don't get with her either."

I think I'm suffering from a bruised ego. A big part of me wants to use this ONE girl as proof that I am becoming the person I want to be. It's not like I'm deifying her or putting her on a pedestal or anything...I know damned well she's not perfect, and that we probably wouldn't even last long together.

I've somehow chosen this ONE girl as a test of my ability with women...to gauge my skills. I believe I may have picked a difficult one, perhaps one that isn't worth my while.

Do any of you ever feel this way, where your ego just won't let you give up on a girl you really probably SHOULD give up on, just because you feel you have something to prove by taking this ONE girl?

How do you get over it?

I find myself brooding over what she may be doing right now...bad, bad news.

 

[RKS]

this happenes to me to man, exactly
i need help also

 

[stallion]

symptoms of one-itis

You'll have to rely on self-discipline..

 

[RKS]

there was this one chick
i really liked her
but i was doin that one-itis this
being hella AFC givin her everything

i dont see her now but
i think to myself
**** her , she doesent deserverv me
but then i think maybe i would have had a chance
ahh
all these thoughts

i dunno


self discipline

??

how can we improve that

 

[Chemistry]

No matter how accomplished a DJ you become there will always be someone out there who isn't feelin' you...

Everyone has their own yard stick to measure what it is they want... you could be the greatest DJ, but you're looks or your personality aren't what this one girl is lookin' for... but no doubt about it there is a ton of girls out there who are lookin' for what you can provide...

The task is to find those, as those are the ones that will make you happiest since they reciprocate the feelings you show them...

 

[icepick]

Hey, at least you know your problem: your ego. Stop patting yourself on the back when you "score" with women, and stop beating yourself up when you fail with them.

I can really relate, I used to be just like you.

But you know what, life is easier when you aren't judging yourself every step of the way. Why do you have the urge to "test your skills" with women? Well, you are probably unsure of your own abilities, but why? There is no real "ability" involved. Just be comfortable. She probably "sees" what makes you desireable, but has low interest for one reason or another. (This stuff happens, people are different. She may be looking for a trait that you do not have.)

It is not an "all or nothing" deal. Some will bite, some will not. You choose from the ones that bite. Improve socially (like ya did), and you will cast your bait to many other people, improving your chances.

Simple as that.

 

[htemorp]

Stop talking to yourself, psycho. Seek counseling.