When do you call for a second date?

[sosuave213]

I never call the day after so that she can replay how the date went and what she liked about it, the subtleties of the date, etc.

It helps me, too. I wanted to call the day after but held off on it. Two days later I realized my date, during the date, called me while I was in the bathroom because I was taking so long. Maybe she thought I ditched her...lol

Pretty sure I'm keeping this chick wondering but how long is too long?

 

[SW15]

@EyeBRollin has a system for this. It is strongly based on the contacting system first promoted in Doc Love's famous 1990s era book "The System", but modified based on current communiccation technologies.

Text game

Here’s my thing - so I just banged the HB 7.5 I spoke about in the other thread (to which I thank you for your advice!). Since we banged, she has been texting almost nonstop with very high interest. Due to our schedules we couldn’t see each other for 9 days (down to 7 now). If I essentially...

www.sosuave.net

 

[sosuave213]

@EyeBRollin has a system for this. It is strongly based on the contacting system first promoted in Doc Love's famous 1990s era book "The System", but modified based on current communiccation technologies.

Text game

Here’s my thing - so I just banged the HB 7.5 I spoke about in the other thread (to which I thank you for your advice!). Since we banged, she has been texting almost nonstop with very high interest. Due to our schedules we couldn’t see each other for 9 days (down to 7 now). If I essentially...

www.sosuave.net

Comments in bold:

Step 2: After the First Date
Provided I liked her, I wait 5-9 days to call for the second date. That's 5-9 days of radio science. The goal is to see if she breaks the silence and starts chasing early. Some women will text you that night to say they made it home - this doesn't count. Begin the count on the next day. We're looking for a "hey how are you" or "good morning" text from her in the 5-9 days. If she does that, I'll respond and use that incoming opportunity to set up date #2, rather than wait the 5-9 days.

Holy phuck. That's almost a week! Plan was to contact her on Sunday and ask her out for Topgolf on Tuesday (because it's half off, she mentioned before the first date she wanted to go to Topgolf and I also like Topgolf).

Damn but the inner me just wants to contact her today because we know we are feeling each other. Waiting suuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkksssss ffs

If she doesn't reach out at all, there's three explanations:
-She wasn't feeling you on the first date and won't even agree to a 2nd date or call you back (~50% or so likelihood)
-She is structured and will give you some attitude for waiting so long. She may have liked you but is a control freak that expects you to call, thus her interest has dissipated (~30% likelihood)
-She will be excited to hear from you and accept the second date (~20% likelihood)

Nice breakdown. But I highly doubt she wasnt feeling me on the first date. Like her texts afterward consisted of triple texts and excitement, wondering if i got home safe, etc.

I sent her the pics we took that evening. She responded:



The "lol " is a bit weird but she's definitely breaking frame. She said before the first date "she doesn't text". Liar liar pants on fire.

These texts were Wednesday night. Will reach out Sunday.

I cannot see myself getting rejected.

 

[SW15]

5-9 days

Holy phuck. That's almost a week! Plan was to contact her on Sunday and ask her out for Topgolf on Tuesday (because it's half off, she mentioned before the first date she wanted to go to Topgolf and I also like Topgolf).

Damn but the inner me just wants to contact her today because we know we are feeling each other. Waiting suuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkksssss ffs

Do you know when you don't notice waiting? When you have an abundance of prospects. You should be running a rotation of multiple women. This helps with avoiding the scarcity mentality that often creates behaviors that led to poor outcomes.

Too many men are overly reliant on one woman at a given time. Always be talking to more women until you determine exclusivity if you are seeking one LTR.

 

[sosuave213]

Do you know when you don't notice waiting? When you have an abundance of prospects. You should be running a rotation of multiple women. This helps with avoiding the scarcity mentality that often creates behaviors that led to poor outcomes.

Too many men are overly reliant on one woman at a given time. Always be talking to more women until you determine exclusivity if you are seeking one LTR.

That's so true. And every time I've called too early or broken the rules after the first date, I get rejected lol.

Everyone off this forum always says "call her and let her know you're interested!!"

 

[SW15]

Everyone off this forum always says "call her and let her know you're interested!!"

Always play it cool and let her wonder about your interest level.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

That's so true. And every time I've called too early or broken the rules after the first date, I get rejected lol.

Everyone off this forum always says "call her and let her know you're interested!!"

Nice. I always drop a text especially after beating it rotten or getting my proteins swallowed. It's a fail safe sure way to protect myself in the me too false accusations Era. I also call before a date. I hate texting.

Happy hunting.

 

[sosuave213]

It's all about being a challenge...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

When you feel like it. Anything else is game playing.

If you have to worry about "not appearing a certain way", rest assured she ALREADY KNOWS you are that way.

Typically for me it's 3-4 days after our first date. If she is interested it doesn't matter as long as it's not the same night as the first date.

 

[sosuave213]

When you feel like it. Anything else is game playing.

If you have to worry about "not appearing a certain way", rest assured she ALREADY KNOWS you are that way.

Typically for me it's 3-4 days after our first date. If she is interested it doesn't matter as long as it's not the same night as the first date.

But why do you like to wait 3-4 days then? Especially if you both like each other?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

But why do you like to wait 3-4 days then? Especially if you both like each other?

Because I am lining up dates with other women in the meantime.

 

[sosuave213]

Because I am lining up dates with other women in the meantime.

Well, I called just now and didn't get an answer. Left a voice mail.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Well, I called just now and didn't get an answer. Left a voice mail.

Why are you calling? Texting is just fine and doesn't leave you in this position

 

[sosuave213]

Why are you calling? Texting is just fine and doesn't leave you in this position

Bro. The title LITERALLY says "When do you call".

 

[Divorced w 3]

Bro. The title LITERALLY says "When do you call".

Either works. Pluses and minuses to both.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Bro. The title LITERALLY says "When do you call".

The simple answer then is I don't. No need to add "degrees of difficulty" to getting a woman on a date, this isn't diving, figure skating or gymnastics where you get higher scores for doing harder things.

 

[sosuave213]

The simple answer then is I don't. No need to add "degrees of difficulty" to getting a woman on a date, this isn't diving, figure skating or gymnastics where you get higher scores for doing harder things.

Well you should have told me that and I would have texted instead...

Still haven't heard back but maybe she'll call in like an hour or two.

 

[sosuave213]

UPDATE:

@BackInTheGame78 she called me at 10:27pm but I was playing PUBG and missed her call.

Called her 10 mins later and we had a convo. Asked her out for Tuesday, she said idk, what about later in the week? Asked her when she's free, and said Thursday. I agreed for 6pm that day and she said that she wants to confirm, since she has family in town and doesn't want to write them off.

in fact for the first date she let me know the day before that she had to leave at 9pm because she was going bowling with her family. She could have outright flaked but she didnt.

So I said, understandable, let me know when you have a free night and we'll plan something then, she said ok. Ball is in her court now. We talked on the phone for 5 more minutes about what she's doing with her family and it sounds like she's going out of her way to make plans for her relatives.

@JoyDivision1990 this is a new chick, way cuter. Way better. If the last one was "quality" then this one is diamond status lol. The last one was a 4 tbh and this one is a clear 7.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

UPDATE:

@BackInTheGame78 she called me at 10:27pm but I was playing PUBG and missed her call.

Called her 10 mins later and we had a convo. Asked her out for Tuesday, she said idk, what about later in the week? Asked her when she's free, and said Thursday. I agreed for 6pm that day and she said that she wants to confirm, since she has family in town and doesn't want to write them off.

in fact for the first date she let me know the day before that she had to leave at 9pm because she was going bowling with her family. She could have outright flaked but she didnt.

So I said, understandable, let me know when you have a free night and we'll plan something then, she said ok. Ball is in her court now. We talked on the phone for 5 more minutes about what she's doing with her family and it sounds like she's going out of her way to make plans for her relatives.

@JoyDivision1990 this is a new chick, way cuter. Way better. If the last one was "quality" then this one is diamond status lol. The last one was a 4 tbh and this one is a clear 7.

Doesn't sound promising but I guess we will see what happens. TBH sounds like you are the backup to the backup again with this one.

High interest women don't make it so hard to get them out again, they make it easy. Almost too easy, as in "I'm free any day this week, let me know what works for you".

She seems to be giving you a lot of obstacles and it's never a good thing to hear "I don't know" if she is free on day that you ask. To me that means "Let me see what other offers I get and I'll let you know Monday night".

Perhaps you should start asking "what's your schedule look like next week for getting together?", and then that way she could give you days she is available and you could pick one that works.

In this interaction she gives you "I don't know" and then you go into scramble mode.

Lessen the degree of difficulty and make things easier for yourself.

Also, stop falling in love with women after 1 date. You don't know anything about them or "how great" they are. You CERTAINLY couldn't know if she is "quality" or "diamond status" yet.

You are pedestalizing women you don't even know. Stop it. It hurts your ability to properly screen women and it hurts your ability to maintain the proper frame in date and between dates. The women also sense and feel this which doesn't work in your favor.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

each case is unique.