When calling a girl...

[squirrels]

I think from reading the articles on this site, I've got a pretty good idea how to approach, how to handle acceptance, rejection, etc...

The one thing I don't know is, WHAT IF YOU NEVER GET THROUGH?

For example, I called this girl's cell 2 days after I got her number cuz I wanted to try to set something up for later this week. Got her voicemail.

Thought nothing of it. Called again tonight and got voicemail after the first ring, so it was either busy or not turned on.

Didn't leave any messages. I dunno if my number is coming up on caller ID...she wouldn't recognize it anyway.

We talk every now and then over AIM...that's where I got her number.

Should I:

- Stop calling and move on; wait and see if she chases
- Call until I at LEAST get through and talk to her
- Ask her out over AIM

 

[matius]

Well. Since you didn't leave any messages- maybe you might want to try and get through. Otherwise I'd say don't call anymore. Or, maybe leave a message and let her know that it is you- sometimes when people don't recognize a number they won't pick up.

 

[Jasmine]

Hmmm, tricky. I would be persistant on the phone. Occasionally turn the number sending function off so that your name doesn't come up all the time (if you're calling from a mobile) so that she doesn't think it's you all the time. Leave a message though... say hello, it's squirells, will call you later today' This way she has an opportunity to be listening out for your call (because it doens't sound like she's got it around much. Set it up so she's expecting you to call next time she checks it)

 

[Player_Supreme]

1. Either quit calling or leave a quick message.
2. Give the ho your number next time you chat on line and tell her to call you on a particular day at a set time.

Me I would quit calling and tell the biatch to call me next time I was online.

 

[squirrels]

...

Interesting...you think I should leave a message? Somehow I thought that's what I SHOULDN'T do.

Here's kinda the situation in a nutshell...I think she was interested in me before when I was ignoring her, but then I became interested and got all choked up and I think she became disinterested (duh!).

Then I was out at a bar/club with her and some other people and everyone was sweating her, so I was like, "F this" and went and danced with some other chicks, and suddenly she seemed back on me. She was IM'ing me the next morning and the day after that. Then all of a sudden she clammed up, so I was like, "OK...got stuff to do. Bye!"

I had axed her off my buddy list and everything...then a couple days ago she IM'ed me and gave some lame excuse, "Oh my brother uses my AIM account sometimes blah blah blah..." so I'm thinking, "Riiiiight. " So I asked for her number to sort of call her out. She gave it to me. It IS her number because it's her on the voicemail.

Now I just can't get through to try to set stuff up.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Guest
You should never call and not leave a message like that. ALWAYS leave a message when you call and she isn't there. Actually, in this case I think it would be best to leave a message and give her your number and tell you to call you back. That way, you feel out her interest level more by observing whether or not she calls.

If you really like this girl and don't want to "next" her just yet, wait a few days and ask her on IM "hey, did you get my message?" Don't say anything like "why haven't you called me back?" That's AFC.

OK well I called, got the voicemail right away, left a short message ("If you get this within the next couple hours, gimme a call").

I think I blew it, though. Started into the message confident, but when I got to "gimme a call" my tone of voice went WAY AFC. I heard it, and I wanted to slam my head against the table. F--k...

I guess I'll have to see what happens. This is not helping much with my confidence.

 

[voodoolover]

Hi squirrels!

Don't kick yourself, you've handled it well so far.

You've given her a chance to call you back: her response to that should indicate her interest level to you.


You didn't say "please give me a call"

You didn't say "give me a call or I'll get really mad"

You didn't say "I love you and I can't live without you"


The only reservation I have with leaving voicemail is this:

What if she doesn't get it?

It's hard to take an ignored message as a sign of no interest when you don't know for sure that you're being ignored.

If she doesn't call back, then I'd assume she didn't get it. Next time you two speak, ask her if she got it. I don't mean ask her as a means of masking your disappointment. I mean ask her because you don't know .

Let us know what happens!

 

[squirrels]

...

Originally posted by voodoolover
Hi squirrels!

Don't kick yourself, you've handled it well so far.

You've given her a chance to call you back: her response to that should indicate her interest level to you.


You didn't say "please give me a call"

You didn't say "give me a call or I'll get really mad"

You didn't say "I love you and I can't live without you"


The only reservation I have with leaving voicemail is this:

What if she doesn't get it?

It's hard to take an ignored message as a sign of no interest when you don't know for sure that you're being ignored.

If she doesn't call back, then I'd assume she didn't get it. Next time you two speak, ask her if she got it. I don't mean ask her as a means of masking your disappointment. I mean ask her because you don't know .

Let us know what happens!

Maybe...the words were OK, but the tone of that one line just sounded so supplicating that it made me want to puke. I know there are other women, but if I blow this, I want to blow it because she doesn't like me and not because my self-confidence wavered like that.

She's friends with some people I know, so I probably will see her again. We'll see...maybe I'm wrong.

 

[voodoolover]

I want to blow it because she doesn't like me and not because my self-confidence wavered like that.

I know exactly where you're coming from there.

Whichever way this one goes, squirrels, you learn from it. You can spend months floating around internet forums, but the real knowledge is out there to be gained doing exactly what you're doing right now.

Look at the bigger picture and, all of a sudden, she doesn't matter quite so much.

 

[squirrels]

...

Hmm...came home from the gym and had this IM waiting for me:

hey mark-i got ur message today and i accidently erased it because i was in a rush.....so i dont have a number to call u back with. (i know i have caller ID but thats a long story too!) Im gonna go to bed early tonite b/c im beat but give me a call tomorrow-and if i dont pick up-ill call ya back b/c i gotta work. Have a good nite-see ya

I'm not sure how to take this...either way, I'm not calling her back tonight. I'm going out to a bar near the local university... it's ladies' night.

 

[Derek Flint]

Accidentaly erased your number?

Wait a week before you call again. Make her sweat for f***** up and erasing your number.

 

[vdk]

If you have other chicks you want to move on just NEXT this girl. She has made so many excuses that you would be an idiot not to ignore her completely. However, if you got a lot of spare time or just cant find any good catches chasing this gal is not such a bad idea. She obviously has some interest in you but like many women love to play hard-to get. My tip is to hold out and flirt with her friends and let her make the first move. You've been screwed too many times to the point she may be disrespecting you.