What's the play? OLD

[FinallyAlpha]

Help me brothers. I want to close.

• Matched and started talking to a HB7 (29) on Bumble on Monday (4 days ago)
• Conversation so far...
• me: how was your weekend?
• her: great, a friend came over, how was yours?
• m: It would have been better if I got to spend it with you (+ Leo DiCaprio 'cheers' gif). It was good! [briefly described fun weekend.] Next weekend I want to do karaoke and / or go to a dance social.
• h: Oh where are you going for karaoke?
• m: [...] Wanna come Friday with me on Friday night?
• h: I'd love to! But I have a friend from [...] here. Can I bring her? Haha
• m: Sounds nice. If I bring a friend, we can do a 'double date'?
• h: Yes! Is he cool? Haha
• m: He's the best. A gentleman.
• h: Good! Where are you from?
• m: I'm from [...]. My friend can't come on Friday... Hmmm... I guess if it's the 3 of us we'll still have fun, of course. But I'll try think of another person in the meantime. Good news [starry eye emoji] my friend can do Saturday.
• h: Haha amazing! Btw she's not looking to date, free soul wants to just have a good time. So do you sing well?? Ahhaha
• m: Ok that's fine. He's a very chilled guy. So if we do it, it will be a good vibe. I can say with certainty that I do not. But I love to sing. When we get to know each other, you will understand what I mean.
• h: hahahah I think same here! Are you living in [...]?
• m: Yes. How about you? You're [...] originally, right? [Brief anecdote connecting me to her homeplace.]
• m: (slight double text... 30 minutes apart... at around 9pm last night) Do you have any plans tonight? I just realised it's a holiday.
• h: [answers my Q about her homeplace]. We actually went out but are already home watching some Harry Potter haha. What did you end up doing?
• m: (this morning) I went to dance bachata and salsa!

ok. As you see, I have already erred here a couple of times, and momentum is waning. (Feel free to critique my moves so far.)

What is the play now? How to I maximise the potential of this spot this weekend (!) ?

 

[Murk]

I think you're doing too much personally. Get her number, voice note/call her to arrange a time for Friday or Saturday. It's not even clear if this is happening on Saturday with your boy or tonight with the 3 of you. I suggest Sautrday or this "free soul" aka h0e is just gonna c-block you. Get her number and set a solid time/date/location "cool see you then" and leave it at that.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

So I might just right now message with: Hey, give me your number and I'll call you to make a plan for this weekend.

What do you think?

I suggest Sautrday and this "free soul" aka h0e is just gonna c-block you.

I don't get it. You're suggesting I go alone with the two of them tomorrow night and get c0ck blocked?

I'm getting non-1st-night-closer vibes off this girl. That's why I'd be happy to meet up with her and her friend for an hour or two. But maybe I'm selling myself short?

 

[Murk]

So I might just right now message with: Hey, give me your number and I'll call you to make a plan for this weekend.

What do you think?



I don't get it. You're suggesting I go alone with the two of them tomorrow night and get c0ck blocked?

I'm getting non-1st-night-closer vibes off this girl. That's why I'd be happy to meet up with her and her friend for an hour or two. But maybe I'm selling myself short?

I'd go with a simple "What's your number?"

Your boy can only do Saturday right? So go then and you won't get c-blocked (as much)

 

[FinallyAlpha]

I'd go with a simple "What's your number?"

Your boy can only do Saturday right? So go then and you won't get c-blocked (as much)

I just sent her "what's your number?"

But it's a double text. (I was the one to text last. This morning.) That's not a turn off?

 

[Murk]

I just sent her "what's your number?"

But it's a double text. (I was the one to text last. This morning.) That's not a turn off?

Nah asking for the number is a completely different kind message, double texting is not ideal but this time you can get away with it. When she sends it, put your manly voice on and voice note her on whatsapp and tell her the details for Saturday in a brief message sounding playful and relaxed but not too tryhard.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You are wasting time messaging. Personally after the 3rd or 4th message it's going to be an invite to grab a drink and connect in person. If they accept, exchange numbers and then text them and set up the date and time.

This is pretty much a cookie cutter method you can use over and over again.

 

[pipeman84]

started talking to a HB7 (29) on Bumble on Monday (4 days ago)

don't be so quick to rate ... she might not look like in the few photos she put on Bumble and she could be a lunatic

• me: how was your weekend?
• her: great, a friend came over, how was yours?
• m: It would have been better if I got to spend it with you

Cringy and thirsty AF. What you're basically saying is that your life is so boring that you're relying to match on OLD with a total stranger to save you from just sitting home and staring at the walls.

this "free soul" aka h0e

LOL, that's exactly what I thought.
While you may be thinking you're building rapport, actually IMO you're wasting time and shooting yourself in the foot with all this messaging ... just be direct and decisive, say let's meet and set a date.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

• m: It would have been better if I got to spend it with you

That was a simp move. How would you know that she would make your time better? You give her undue credit before she earned it.

Double dates are a waste of time. You want to check the woman out, not listen to her friends BS or play animator for both of them.
In the end she will most likely leave with her friend anyway and you ****block yourself by agreeing to a 2 on 1(or 2) date.

Get her number, meet her up for a coffee or a walk, one hour max, then get out of there and in the aftermath set up a serious date if you want.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

Strong feedback.

I was not expecting blowback on the "would have been better if" line. But your points make complete sense.

She sent number.

So we're thinking double date is a no go? She has this friend all weekend. So if I don't want double date then I can't set the 1st date until friend leaves.

I think I'm going to send the Murk voicenote. Suggest karaoke bar tomorrow night. Either I go alone, or if my friend can make it, then we do 'double date'. I spend 1-2 hours (max) with her and her friend. Give her plenty of attention. Break the ice. And then set follow-up one-on-one date and move to close.

Sounds good?

 

[Gamisch]

The problem seems to be that you are ecstatic about meeting a (hopefully) hb7.

I mean, i would also be kinda excited about it tbh. But at the same time i can tell you're already walking on eggshells.

I personally don't think double dating is a good idea.
- either your friend is hotter /got more going on than you and this puts you in a bad light.

- you're friend is a chump which will also put you in a bad light.

- her friend can cack block at any moment.

- the dynamic is off. Maybe person A like person B instead of C ect.

- if there's a genuine connection between you two you can't bank on it because there are a 3rd and 4th wheel involved.

Double date is something you do AFTER you've established enough momentum with your own date, UNLESS you get plenty of women.

To refer to my first paragraph; it's always a opportunity for both parties. She had a friend coming over last weekend and this weekend again. So that friend is actively sabotaging her dating life? The cliche and perhaps unfair example ; would she do this if Leo or Denzel asked her for a date?

Sorry to break it to you ,but this sounds like lukewarm interest at best. She could even meet up with you for an hour or so, and come back home so she and her friend will have something to talk about.

Everyone including she knows that two weeks on OLD is like 3 months in real life. Things move fast. Why dont you just reschedule the date?

And by the way ,who will pay for all this?

 

[FinallyAlpha]

I sent the Murk voicenote saying place and time for tomorrow night for this 'double date'.

She wb 3 minutes later "tomorrow night? or tonight?" She said that she thought it was tonight. She did hit me with "nice accent " though.

Her double date friend leaves town tonight and she has plans with other friends tomorrow.

So I left it at: "I'll be in town with [my friend] tomorrow night. If you and your friends are together and you would like to meet and say hello, that would be my pleasure."

She said: "Let's do that then!"

 

[ThisIsSparta]

You really try hard to get that double (now tripple+ on saturday?) date ..... watch it or she will think you are needy.

You put yourself in a position where not only the woman in question will judge you but also her 2,3,whatever friends. They might shoot you down and you wont get a chance on that girl if you fail to impress her friends.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

Ummm... I'm not sweating it too much. I will be out in town with my friend and if I meet her and we click or she's cute, that's cool. If not, I'll message for a proper date next week. If not, I'm not bothered and I'll move on.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

She messaged my IG after midnight last night. I was already home (had been out with my friend), and I wrote back "how's your night going?" (maybe she'll taxi over to fvck me.... )

She replies a while later (let's say 30 minutes - 1 hour): "Fun! All of my friends cancelled except one and now we came to a disco How about you?"

I left the message 'unseen'. I had no interest in replying and I went to sleep.

I've just now clicked into the message (to get the above quote for you). But I'm highly indifferent at this point. I am not really motivated to pursue her....

Thoughts?

 

[Murk]

You didn’t set the time or place, you left it up in the air, didn’t take control, so you were doomed to fail. I said to voice note her with hard plans.

Positive: she was texting and engaging with you so she didn’t get swept off her feet by another guy and was thinking of you that night (could have smashed some dude after the message). You went out with your boy anyway.

Negatives: No control from you whatsoever. Were too tired/drink to capitalise on your message (which was an invite to meet).

 

[Ricky]

the game has changed a bit since i last played it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She messaged my IG after midnight last night. I was already home (had been out with my friend), and I wrote back "how's your night going?" (maybe she'll taxi over to fvck me.... )

She replies a while later (let's say 30 minutes - 1 hour): "Fun! All of my friends cancelled except one and now we came to a disco How about you?"

I left the message 'unseen'. I had no interest in replying and I went to sleep.

I've just now clicked into the message (to get the above quote for you). But I'm highly indifferent at this point. I am not really motivated to pursue her....

Thoughts?

You can't make her think you are indifferent when you were so thirsty you couldn't even wait til she was free to meet up on her own.

Your thirst is overwhelming and it's like a person who tries to hide the stench of rotting fish in their house with some air fresheners when people come over. You may think you are hiding it, but she smells it pretty clearly.

Stop being so thirsty.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

You can't make her think you are indifferent when you were so thirsty you couldn't even wait til she was free to meet up on her own.

Your thirst is overwhelming and it's like a person who tries to hide the stench of rotting fish in their house with some air fresheners when people come over. You may think you are hiding it, but she smells it pretty clearly.

Stop being so thirsty.

I don't know what that means.

I'm not trying to make her think anything you jacka$$. I wrote "I am indifferent", because I was indifferent. And I remain indifferent. Ambivalent is probably far more accurate. Learn to read you sad, angry person.

I know I can get very thirsty. I oscillate in and out of it. It's fvcked. You don't think I know that?

Women bore the sh1t out of me unless I'm fvcking them. My desire to fvck them comes in waves. Sometimes it's not there. And when it is, I get fixated on it. I know none of that is healthy.

You can lash out all you want, but I'm not going to stop posting these situations. If you want me out of your gay little fiefdom then you're going to have to ban me.

Or you could actually give some useful advice, like others are doing. Instead of waiting after the fact to swing your 4 inch c0ck around.

 

[forcerecon01]

Good luck with her