I met a girl in her mid-30's a couple weeks ago. She is one of the adult leaders in a school organization that my son belongs to that meets weekly. The first couple of times I was around her she was quite friendly, bordering on flirtatious. I was considering asking her out, the only reservation being that we have to see each other on account of the children and it could prove to be awkward if we went out and decided we didn't click. I decided what the hell, we are both adults, we can deal with it. Ironically, that very night, I got a call from a girl I know who works with this chick I am interested in. Her purpose in calling is to tell me this girl has been asking about me and is definitely interested. She also volunteers her number. I didn't get around to calling for several days and got no answer when I did. I saw her at the next meeting and she was her usual self. We were speaking after the meeting and I told her I would call her later that evening. She smiled, nodded, and said okay. I called that night and got no answer, left a message, and haven't heard from her since. I learned the hard way when I was young that chasing a woman is a waste of time so I have no plans to call again. My question is though, since I have to spend time in her company, what is the best plan of action? Should I act like it's no big deal and continue flirting with her, should I give her the cold shoulder, or should I be amicable but keep my distance? I think option number one is the way to go but am interested in hearing other points of view. Also, has anyone else ever had such a deal where you thought someone had the major hots for you then, for some unexplained reason, it never materialized?
What's the best way to handle the fall out?
- Thread starter Old Buck
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for everyone 1 woman that you find out has the hots for you there are probably 20 who did and you never knew they did.
i mean, how many women have you come across in life that you had the hots for but never told them.
often times a woman might behave the way this one is because she has to jump from image of you in her head to reality of dating you. perhaps shes just really nervous. perhaps she really liked you but has issues and isnt sure if shes ready to date again, even though she likes you.
who the f*ck knows. one thing i do know, sometimes a chic not calling is because shes a player, sometimes its because she's so nervous that she continually chickens out and sometimes its because they dont want to seem desperate.
there are AFC-type women out there.
anyway, best way to react is to ask yourself how would your ideal concept of a man react to this. He'd probably put her aside as a fruit thats not ready to be picked yet and continue to treat her like a lady.
J
i mean, how many women have you come across in life that you had the hots for but never told them.
often times a woman might behave the way this one is because she has to jump from image of you in her head to reality of dating you. perhaps shes just really nervous. perhaps she really liked you but has issues and isnt sure if shes ready to date again, even though she likes you.
who the f*ck knows. one thing i do know, sometimes a chic not calling is because shes a player, sometimes its because she's so nervous that she continually chickens out and sometimes its because they dont want to seem desperate.
there are AFC-type women out there.
anyway, best way to react is to ask yourself how would your ideal concept of a man react to this. He'd probably put her aside as a fruit thats not ready to be picked yet and continue to treat her like a lady.
J
ApocalypseCow2
Senior Don Juan
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So technically the girl you're interested in never gave you her number? Hmm, that could be akward.
Also, maybe she has the same worries as you do, i.e. she doesn't want to mess around with the father of a kid who is in her care.
Behave as if none of this ever happened. It will make her comfortable around you knowing you weren't phazed by this (whether or not she's interested) and she may even do some initiating of her own. Don't even bring it up and continue to smile.
It did occur to me that she may have had second thoughts about dating someone whose kid was in her group. This could be compounded by the fact my ex-wife is frequently at the meetings, although she is remarried and she and I have very little to do with one another.