Whats my best play here?

[Young OG]

I rarely need advice now, but here it goes...

Backstory: My 26 yr old POF date on Saturday flaked on our date. I didn't respond back. She text me 3 hours later with a counter offer for next Saturday. I will give her 1 more chance. But, my question isn't about her.

After she flaked, I messaged some woman on POF and got a new date for that night in under 20 mins. So, I met this 22 yr old at a bar for drinks around 1145pm. I would have met her earlier, but she worked till 11pm. We hit it off good, I made her laugh a lot, and we each had 2 drinks. I failed on getting her back to my place after. By her car, we kissed a lot (w/ tongue). She asked me to text her when I got home. I did and she said she had a great time and wants to see me again. I probably messed up texting her the next day in the afternoon and trying to set up a date, but its to late now. I suggested next Sunday (were both off on sun & mon). She said "probably, I'm busy during the day but I'm not sure about that night." Then she said "I'll have to let you know." So whats my best play here? Do I wait for her to contact me? If I don't hear from her by the end of the week, should I contact her? I'm guessing its just to wait till she contacts me...

 

[dustmuffin]

I rarely need advice now, but here it goes...

Backstory: My 26 yr old POF date on Saturday flaked on our date. I didn't respond back. She text me 3 hours later with a counter offer for next Saturday. I will give her 1 more chance. But, my question isn't about her.

After she flaked, I messaged some woman on POF and got a new date for that night in under 20 mins. So, I met this 22 yr old at a bar for drinks around 1145pm. I would have met her earlier, but she worked till 11pm. We hit it off good, I made her laugh a lot, and we each had 2 drinks. I failed on getting her back to my place after. By her car, we kissed a lot (w/ tongue). She asked me to text her when I got home. I did and she said she had a great time and wants to see me again. I probably messed up texting her the next day in the afternoon and trying to set up a date, but its to late now. I suggested next Sunday (were both off on sun & mon). She said "probably, I'm busy during the day but I'm not sure about that night." Then she said "I'll have to let you know." So whats my best play here? Do I wait for her to contact me? If I don't hear from her by the end of the week, should I contact her? I'm guessing its just to wait till she contacts me...

Let her contact you. Try to set something else up don't wait on her. She is checking out her options and you are not the best yet. If she dose contact you late in the week and say she can go it will feel sweet to say oh im busy now lets do something on x. It shows you have other options too.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Usually my response to "I'll let you know...." is:

Ok, great. Get in touch with me when you figure things out....

Then proceed with booking with someone else. If they counter with "well, I still want to see you just call me <day before / day of> to verify..." you must maintain frame.

"<name>, I don't call back to verify. I'm a busy guy. We can do something another time when your schedule is more clear."

The key is to never accept "I'll let you know" as an answer in the first place. You have to establish up front that your time is valuable. If she is unwilling to make definite plans, be unwilling to commit to the idea of seeing her. That way if she flakes on definite plans, nothing will be ambiguous about her low interest or low character.

 

[Young OG]

Thanks for the advice. I guess I did mess up accepting I'll let you know. At least I know what to do next time. I'll wait for her to contact me, but if she says shes not busy, I'll have to say that I'm busy now.

 

[El Payaso]

When she said "I'll let you know".

Say "Cool. Let me know and I'll let you know if I'm free or busy."

It's a good response because it still keeps you in the driver's seat of being the one to dictate the time.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Thanks for the advice. I guess I did mess up accepting I'll let you know. At least I know what to do next time. I'll wait for her to contact me, but if she says shes not busy, I'll have to say that I'm busy now.

You don't have to intentionally blow her off to "get back at her." You just have to control the situation up front. You haven't blown this one yet. Next time she is free, make the date. Just don't accept her changing plans or giving you a wishy washy non-commitment to meeting.

 

[Lozboss]

This is a firm no contact. If she gets in touch you say you're busy and rebook for another time- regain frame and control.

meanwhile you find someone else worth the date next Sunday.

View dating as Sales- it's a numbers games and some will drop off and then come back. Just be in control of your pipeline and constantly add to it at every opportunity as some will fall off, sometimes for no reason whatsoever.

 

[Young OG]

I'm definitely waiting for her to contact me. If she doesnt, it's her loss then. If she contacts me, if still debating if I should tell her I'm busy now or if I should tell her that I may be busy and I'll let her know.

I should have a date for Saturday night at least. I just met a hb9, so I'm going to try to set up a date with her or reschedule with the girl that flaked last Saturday.

 

[pyros]

...and some guys on this forum keep meeting "HB9s" in their daily, mundane, common lives...LMAO...

No OP, sorry, this chick doesnt look like:
http://www.multimedios.com/files/article_content/uploads/2015/07/21/55ae5981e3502.jpeg

 

[Yewki]

...and some guys on this forum keep meeting "HB9s" in their daily, mundane, common lives...LMAO...

No OP, sorry, this chick doesnt look like:
http://www.multimedios.com/files/article_content/uploads/2015/07/21/55ae5981e3502.jpeg

What's funny is to me the chick in your link isn't even an 8. She's attractive, but face doesn't really do it for me and I don't like the fake/implant look. She'd actually be more attractive with smaller b00bs.

 

[marmel75]

You messed up by doing exactly what she told you to like a little puppy. She tells you text me when you get home and you do exactly what she said.

Fail.

 

[Young OG]

You messed up by doing exactly what she told you to like a little puppy. She tells you text me when you get home and you do exactly what she said.

Fail.

She asked me to text when I got home cause we were drinking and I had a 30 min drive home. It was to make sure I got home okay. So your saying I shouldn't have texted her then?

 

[marmel75]

She asked me to text when I got home cause we were drinking and I had a 30 min drive home. It was to make sure I got home okay. So your saying I shouldn't have texted her then?

Hell no. She isn't your mother. She is some random chick you met for the first time. Make her reach out to you.

 

[Young OG]

...and some guys on this forum keep meeting "HB9s" in their daily, mundane, common lives

Think what you want. I have never lied on this forum. I have no reason to lie.

 

[SeymourCake]

You should always lead. Wait until this weekend and send her a text message to set up another date. That way she knows you're interested in her and she won't feel insecure about the first date.

 

[Julian]

I dont ever plan for a fkin weekend...haha thats special time.

I always make plans for THE SAME DAY. Look how much success you had getting her for drinks in 20 min...


Best way to play this is hit her up randomly at like 6 pm on a wednesday "Heading to ___ for a drink tonight, wanna join me"

Boom headshot. guaranteed azz

 

[Yewki]

She asked me to text when I got home cause we were drinking and I had a 30 min drive home. It was to make sure I got home okay. So your saying I shouldn't have texted her then?

Your rationalization is so cute. To let her know you got home okay. Awww.

No, and if she actually asked you to do tht you shouldn't have agreed. "Don't worry about me I'll be fine"

 

[Young OG]

Your rationalization is so cute. To let her know you got home okay. Awww.

No, and if she actually asked you to do tht you shouldn't have agreed. "Don't worry about me I'll be fine"

After reading some of the responses to this thread, I've determined that I have a lot more to learn then I originally thought. At least I know what to do in a situation like this next time.

 

[marmel75]

After reading some of the responses to this thread, I've determined that I have a lot more to learn then I originally thought. At least I know what to do in a situation like this next time.

On a positive note, you'll start seeing the same things over and over so once you learn how to respond properly, it becomes funny because you will already know the outcomes before you do them.

As in, if I do this to this particular thing then here is what's going to happen. Not all the time, but a good 80-85% of the time you'll see it happen.