What would you change, if you were me? (warning: rant)

[McNugget]

Here is a partial list of characteristics which I possess which may or may not turn off women:

-I wear glasses
-I have more body hair than the average male (it's a Greek thing)
-I'm not fat, but I'm not muscular either
-I seem to lack an innate sense of fashion
-I play bass in a progressive rock band (not the sexiest of genres. I'm thinking of quitting and looking for a reggae band at some point)
-I enjoy the occasional cigarette (three packs a year)
-I drink at least three cups of coffee a day (but I take excellent care of my teeth)
-I can't cook
-I can't dance
-I can't drive
-I have never played any sports
-I'm not a member of any church
-My house is messy (not that women see the inside of it very often)
-I'm so bad at small talk that my roommates, whom I've lived with over a year, feel as though they "don't really know me". However, once you get me talking about a topic I'm confident about (i.e. music, politics), I suddenly become articulate, ****y and hilarious. I am actually capable of being the life of the party, but only if the party is made up of other serious musicians.
-My job (in audio postproduction for film) is very lonely, and so is everything else I'm qualified to do.
-The cumulative effect of all this seems to be: a lot of people think I'm a "nerd", even though I can't stand video games or anime, and have little patience for those who can. Sometimes I think I'd have more luck with women if I *were* a gamer.

Now, I can't fix all these problems at once. I'm simply too busy. My question to all of you DJs is: if you were me, which of these things would you fix FIRST, and which don't need fixing at all?

 

[Answers]

Wear contact lenses or get laser treatment on your eyes, practise small talk with yourself and take driving lessons. That would be a good start. You can change your fashion easily.

Set goals for next year and complete your goals.

 

[Eddie417]

I've know more folk that have benefited from some time in the gym than anything else. Start there. There'll be a domino effect.

 

[TheVirtualMind]

I'd change the ability for you to post in the correct forum.

 

[Gustav Yavo]

Here is a partial list of characteristics which I possess which may or may not turn off women:

-I wear glasses (not a turn on or turn off, its neutral, although i have glasses and sometimes they are uncomfortable to kiss with. But you can use glasses to your advantage if you have a nice stylish pair)

-I have more body hair than the average male (it's a Greek thing) (Not really a problem either, but women love guys with good hygeine, and depending on the woman the body hair may be a turn off)

-I'm not fat, but I'm not muscular either (No problem here)

-I seem to lack an innate sense of fashion (Haha, most guys do, but dressing well does attract women, its says you take care of yourself, and sets a positive image)

-I play bass in a progressive rock band (not the sexiest of genres. I'm thinking of quitting and looking for a reggae band at some point) (No problem here, use this to your advantage, play a womens vagina like you would place your bass!)

-I enjoy the occasional cigarette (three packs a year) (No problem here for the most part, unless the girl you are after happened to loose her parents to cigarettes, or she just detests them. But smoking is just a dirty habit, plain and simple)

-I drink at least three cups of coffee a day (but I take excellent care of my teeth) (No problem here, unless you happen to become dangerously hyper after all that cafeine. But isnt three cups like an average ammount these days? Continue the good dental care tho)

-I can't cook (No problem here, although it does work in your advantage to be able to cook well, its a turn on. My advice, find two or three dishes you like, and learn to cook them very well)

-I can't dance (No problem here, but like the cooking it works to your advantage, plus dancing is one of the sexiest activities you can do with your clothes on)

-I can't drive (No problem here, take the bus lol. But you should learn how to drive)

-I have never played any sports (No problem here, focus on how you can play an instrument its just as good)

-I'm not a member of any church (No problem here, unless of course you happen to be going after a super religious woman)

-My house is messy (not that women see the inside of it very often) (Not a huge problem here, but a clean house sets off a positive image)

-I'm so bad at small talk that my roommates, whom I've lived with over a year, feel as though they "don't really know me". However, once you get me talking about a topic I'm confident about (i.e. music, politics), I suddenly become articulate, ****y and hilarious. I am actually capable of being the life of the party, but only if the party is made up of other serious musicians. (slight problem here, i dont know about you but 99% of the parties i attend arent full of serious political musicians. Politics is a good topic though, cause most people have some view on it. Music is a good topic too, but you shouldnt be so serious when talking about it. But the fact that you are passionate about these topics can work as a turn on if you use them right)

-My job (in audio postproduction for film) is very lonely, and so is everything else I'm qualified to do. (No problem here, how does this affect your chances with women? But if the subject does come up (which its guarenteed to) just speak of the positives and not the negatives)

-The cumulative effect of all this seems to be: a lot of people think I'm a "nerd", even though I can't stand video games or anime, and have little patience for those who can. Sometimes I think I'd have more luck with women if I *were* a gamer. (No problem here, women loved to be surprised, so if it looks like your a nerd (who are typically reserved untalkative guys who cant get laid to save their lives, well thats the sterotype) be outgoing and social and surprise the women that see you.)

Now, I can't fix all these problems at once. I'm simply too busy. My question to all of you DJs is: if you were me, which of these things would you fix FIRST, and which don't need fixing at all?

Well you dont need that much work, but a slight improvement in the areas i mentioned should help you out.

Good luck!

 

[McNugget]

Man, changing yourself for women is not how you get women attracted to you its AFC mentality.
A pimp uses what he has to his advantage.
Your a musician, bass player, women love musicians, for fvcks sake.
Work on the small talk, no personality means no pu55y, duh
All your intrespection smells of geek, quit being neurotic, you sound like woody allen 3 packs of cigs a year...are you for real?

Smoking is far less acceptable in Canada than in the UK...but that's neither here nor there.

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. AFC would actually be a few steps *up* from where I'm currently at, I reckon.

 

[McNugget]

(No problem here, use this to your advantage, play a womens vagina like you would place your bass!)

With a great deal of sliding and hammering?

Seriously, though, thanks for the feedback!

 

[Gustav Yavo]

Haha, if you played a flute or sumthing, there would be a great deal of fingering.

 

[Gustav Yavo]

Lol i live in Montreal and will vouch for that. People here love their cigarettes.

 

[McNugget]

Really? They recently outlawed smoking in bars & restaurants in Ontario, and most people seem to be in favour of this for some reason.

 

[Gustav Yavo]

Lol the smoking ban was passed here in Mtl too, but i see just as many people smoking, except now their outside. I find the cigarette facinating, the fact that you can be addicted to something so much that you will haul ur a*ss outside during the winter in -20 weather just to have one.

I guess thats what love feels like.....lol

 

[Rhoto]

Here is a partial list of characteristics which I possess which may or may not turn off women:

-I wear glasses So? Get nice ones or contacts. They DO make you look smart.
-I have more body hair than the average male (it's a Greek thing) As do I. stay clean, you'll be fine.
-I'm not fat, but I'm not muscular either Get your ass in the gym.
-I seem to lack an innate sense of fashion Goto all the malls in your area, talk to the women at stores like: Express, Nordstrom, H&M, Tom Ford. Ask them what they like, what looks sexy
-I play bass in a progressive rock band (not the sexiest of genres. I'm thinking of quitting and looking for a reggae band at some point) Prog rock is ****ing awsome. Do what you love, don't compromise cause it isn't sexy.
-I enjoy the occasional cigarette (three packs a year) You're on your way to being a regular customer. Change that.
-I drink at least three cups of coffee a day (but I take excellent care of my teeth) Drink 1.
-I can't cook Learn, start simple.
-I can't dance See above
-I can't drive If you live in a city, SF, NYC, Chi-town thats acceptable, otherwise get a license, and buy a motorbike. (Semi-serious, but having a bike adds a dynamic that no car can.)
-I have never played any sports Learn a martial art.
-I'm not a member of any church The only people getting some at a church are priests.
-My house is messy (not that women see the inside of it very often) Clean it?
-I'm so bad at small talk that my roommates, whom I've lived with over a year, feel as though they "don't really know me". However, once you get me talking about a topic I'm confident about (i.e. music, politics), I suddenly become articulate, ****y and hilarious. I am actually capable of being the life of the party, but only if the party is made up of other serious musicians. You're not bad at small talk, you're simply selective. You should try to steer the conversation. You can talk about anything, just make it interesting.
-My job (in audio postproduction for film) is very lonely, and so is everything else I'm qualified to do. Do you enjoy your work? If yes, who cares? If no, change.
-The cumulative effect of all this seems to be: a lot of people think I'm a "nerd", even though I can't stand video games or anime, and have little patience for those who can. Sometimes I think I'd have more luck with women if I *were* a gamer.I'm a nerd, I like anime and video games. So do a lot of Asian girls in my area. I like Asian girls and they like me.

Now, I can't fix all these problems at once. I'm simply too busy. My question to all of you DJs is: if you were me, which of these things would you fix FIRST, and which don't need fixing at all?

Start working out or a martial art. Build your confidence. It's pretty much downhill from there. Stop thinking so negatively about yourself as well, that doesn't help, just gets you deeper in a rut.

Repeat this to yourself: "All women want me, because I'm hot, interesting and dominant" or something that works for you.

 

[DonJuan11]

Here is a partial list of characteristics which I possess which may or may not turn off women:

-I wear glasses - GET CONTACTS
-I have more body hair than the average male (it's a Greek thing) - OK
-I'm not fat, but I'm not muscular either - WORKOUT TO GET MUSCLE
-I seem to lack an innate sense of fashion - GET HELP FROM TV, MOVIES, ANYONE
-I play bass in a progressive rock band (not the sexiest of genres. I'm thinking of quitting and looking for a reggae band at some point) - GOOD
-I enjoy the occasional cigarette (three packs a year) - GOOD
-I drink at least three cups of coffee a day (but I take excellent care of my teeth) - OK
-I can't cook - LEARN
-I can't dance - LEARN
-I can't drive - LEARN
-I have never played any sports - PROBLEM
-I'm not a member of any church - OK
-My house is messy (not that women see the inside of it very often) - CLEAN IT UP
-I'm so bad at small talk that my roommates, whom I've lived with over a year, feel as though they "don't really know me". However, once you get me talking about a topic I'm confident about (i.e. music, politics), I suddenly become articulate, ****y and hilarious. I am actually capable of being the life of the party, but only if the party is made up of other serious musicians. - WORK ON THIS, THIS IS AN IMPORTANT ONE
-My job (in audio postproduction for film) is very lonely, and so is everything else I'm qualified to do. - OK
-The cumulative effect of all this seems to be: a lot of people think I'm a "nerd", even though I can't stand video games or anime, and have little patience for those who can. Sometimes I think I'd have more luck with women if I *were* a gamer. - WHY DO THEY THINK THIS? HOW TALL ARE YOU?

Now, I can't fix all these problems at once. I'm simply too busy. My question to all of you DJs is: if you were me, which of these things would you fix FIRST, and which don't need fixing at all?

The not playing sports is a problem, your height could be a problem. Do you have all your hair?

Your job isn't the greatest unless you make lots of $$$. The other stuff is simple to fix.

 

[ready123]

dude, your list of characteristics is not even bad. most are neutral and except for the small talk part, all of them are superficial

you can improve all of them but if your social skills suck, you're still not gonna laid. so focus on your social skills

 

[MooseGod]

I'd say confidence is the main thing you need. None of these things you mentioned really matter in the grand scheme of things, but you seem like you feel like you need to improve them before you have any kind of chance at all with girls. You've got to be proud of who you are and comfortable in your own skin. And of course, never stop trying to improve yourself...by all means if some aspect of your appearance makes you self-conscious, then change it.

Hit the gym. Learn a sport. Go hiking in the wilderness for a few days and grow a beard. Start a fight club. Do something out of your comfort zone.

And maybe get a part-time job in a restaurant where you are forced to chat with people and get comfortable making small talk. All you have to do is find something interesting about them or the situation and make an offhand comment about it.

 

[JDA70]

I wear glasses

Why is that a problem?

I have more body hair than the average male (it's a Greek thing)

Either shave or live with it. You are who you are.

I'm not fat, but I'm not muscular either

Then your good to go. You don't need to be some greek god
to attrack women.

I seem to lack an innate sense of fashion

Ok well then look at mens fashion mags and web sites.

-I play bass in a progressive rock band (not the sexiest of genres. I'm thinking of quitting and looking for a reggae band at some point)

That's a positive thing. BTW I used to play bass for 11 years.

I enjoy the occasional cigarette (three packs a year)

Drop the smoking.

I drink at least three cups of coffee a day (but I take excellent care of my teeth)

3 is a bit too much. Why do you need 3 a day?
Even if you take good care of your teeth you still
will get stains unless your going to the dentist and getting
whitening treatments.

I can't cook

Practice just like when you started bass.

I can't dance

Practice just like when you started bass.
Go watch people, or buy a dvd.

I can't drive

Go practice out on back roads or in subdivisions.
Stay away from the Highway and inner city traffic for now.

I have never played any sports.

Are you interested in any? If not then don't make
a problem out of nothing. If your not into it then
that's just how it is for you.

I'm not a member of any church

Not a problem. Just watch it on tv and learn.

My house is messy

Clean your house and don't allow yourself to be lazzy.

I'm so bad at small talk

Then start small talking to them then you will get good.
Sit down and think up stuff every day to talk about
that they can relate to.

people think I'm a "nerd"

Do you care what others think of you or do you care what you think of you?

If I was in your spot I'd start with some better clothes,
some better hip looking glasses or contacts and work on the small talk.
Be super friendly and don't care about the responce if there is any. Understand.

Just take it step by step.

 

[The Inside Man]

Weights plus cardio. If you keep up with it it will literally transform your body and mind so that you no longer feel like a nerd. Nerds aren't any more intelligent than other high achievers, they just lack the EQ or emotional intelligence as has been brought up.

#1 thing I would change is running a few miles a week and lifting 2-3 times a week, with a cleaned up diet of course.

 

[DrD77]

don't change being in a progressive rock band. progressive rock is the ****. a lot better than reggae