What would the Don Juan Do?

[New Jeruz]

Okay, I met this chick in March this year. Met her through some friends of mine. She seemed like the perfect chick for me as far as having very similar interests. I admit, from the minute I got her number I was playing myself like an AFC, (this was prior to finding this site and similar sites on seduction). I even started hitting the gym again just to look good for her, (I know, AFC move).

When I finally got to go out with her, she was the complete opposite from what I expected. It wasn't about trying to bang her, I was trying to have a relationship with her. But, she didn't pass any tests, not even the classic car door test. I was like okay, maybe she doesn't now about the test. When we went out to play pool with appetizers and drinks, I paid. I thought, that's okay, I'm a man, I'm supposed to pay, but she didn't even offer to pay for anything. Afterwards, I took her to this spot for sushi... once I again, I paid and she didn't even offer. Trust me, I know now I was an AFC. On the way to take her back home, she mentions about being previously married, then I knew this chick really had problems. Then I remembered, all her war stories are about getting drunk with friends... Red Alert!!!! Major Baggage. Here's what took the cake, when I dropped her off, she hopped out the car without even a handshake, WTF. It's okay, I laugh about it now.

So about a month later, my friends and I all get together and I see her again. Prior to this meeting, she hears from her friend how shocked I was with her on our date and she was suprised. She offers to give me the money back and I refuse, but eventually take it back and use it to buy every one shots for Cinco De Mayo. Everything just felt awkward between us. She hugs me goodbye and I'm thinking, whatever.

Now, I know that I don't ever want a relationship with her. I can even thank her for me getting back in the gym, but I won't because even after our bad date I still stayed dedicated to improving myself... (strange, even before I found this site). So, the friend that told her about my reaction to our date is having her birthday in a week and I know this chick is gonna be there. I'm not worried about trying to impress her or anything because she is not even worth my time or effort and I now I can do better than her.

What I was wondering was, should I try to mess with her head out of spite, i.e., negging, trying to seduce, etc., or should I just let it go? I'll probably just let it go and have fun, but you know the saying... "Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin' pu$$y", and if I can combine the two it would be a great story to tell.

Opinions please.

 

[ElChoclo]

I don't think "messing with her head out of spite" is a very edifying activity. It is difficult to see the justification for your perceived sense of grievance.

This looks like a matter suitable for reference to the High School Forum.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Allow me to unplug you from the Matrix. This is where your head is:

She seemed like the perfect chick for me,..

Idealization prior to even meeting the girl - this is classic pre-whipped, pre-ONEitis mental schema. You're parroting sh!t that that you've been conditioned to think will be gratifying for you, but only locks you into thinking about relationships as the only legitimate expression of sexual relations. More on this later,..

,..I even started hitting the gym again just to look good for her, (I know, AFC move).

Not an AFC move at all, just the wrong motivation. Every guy hits the gym to look better and improve their odds for potential sex. Your failing is that ONE woman exclusively prompted you to workout.

When I finally got to go out with her, she was the complete opposite from what I expected.

This was your bolding, not mine. Again, you have a ONEitis preconditioning which is evident in your 'Sniper' mentality. You anticipated her, you built her up to meet or exceed your idealization in your head, and you were ready to by-pass attraction/desire and move directly into a realtionship stage because this is a preconceived goal-state for you.

It wasn't about trying to bang her, I was trying to have a relationship with her.

Which is EXACTLY why you went down in flames AND she didn't meet your expectations. God forbid a woman actually think you might want to fukk her. This relationship goal-state idealization makes you asexual and women want that sexaul affirmation. As I stated above, your head is firmly planted in this serial monogamy ideology - a relationship should NEVER be your goal; sexual chemistry, attraction and desire should be your first priority and maybe (once you're 30) you move on to a relationship. You simply wont bypass this stage, it's a necessary foundation for a relationship. No woman want's to start a relationship with a guy she doesn't want to fukk - those are called LJBF arrangements. Remember, it's sex first THEN relationship.

What I was wondering was, should I try to mess with her head out of spite, i.e., negging, trying to seduce, etc., or should I just let it go? I'll probably just let it go and have fun, but you know the saying... "Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin' pu$$y", and if I can combine the two it would be a great story to tell.

Revenge for what? Not living up to your pathetic, self-induced, AFC idealizations of shooting straight into a relationship? Dude, you had to have this girl presented to you through friends, you didn't approach, you didn't sarge, now you want to Neg her? Now you want to try to seduce her? Get the fukk outta here!

 

[Albion10]

You can't persecute a chick just because she didn't buy. I ALWAYS expect to pay for everything. If she offers... BONUS... if not... no big deal. That doesn't mean that whether or not she paid doesn't play a part in my decision to call her back. But that's not her fault, there are plenty of men looking for a trophy for their mantel and they're more then willing to pay for it.

BUT!

It dose sound to me like she was just looking for a free night out.

I wouldn't even bother with her. If she's at the party just treat her like she's just another one of the party goers that you don't know. Screwing with her or playing the 1 up game makes you a real Jerk. A real man, the one that women are looking for, doesn't play stupid high school games with people. That's because he's sure of himself and doesn't need to prove anything to anyone. Playing the silly "I got you back" game just shows your insecurity.

-Al