What was wrong with my approach?

[jgnrb]

What was wrong with my approach?



Profile of target Filipina in her 30s
Long hair length ti her hip so short, when she stands on the stairs that is 3 step high, she is on the same height as me.



Outside of fast food chain chick ate alone at table.i waited several minutes before going up to her b/ c my anxiety had to calm down first.she finishes food stood up from seat so i finally go near table.

'Have seen you around here before' i opened,calculating, 'do you come here often? It sounds overused and lame,but Ben didn't get it, so I repeated it, and still she didn't get it.

Gues English isn't her first language. I rephrase; this is my first time seeing you.She replies, i Don't talk to strangers.I ask, do you live here or are you toursit? She says she lives. I introduce myself, saying I am a student in a local university tech major. Now she just looks at me. Maybe she didn't go to university, but I didn't ask. She looks at her phone as she waits for a taxi. I tried apocalypse opener 'Do you want to come with me? She said no; I'm good. My first time ever asking a girl to come home. I eject, saying ok, nice meeting you. She replies the same. I asked for a second time, can I shake your hand? She rejected. when I cameHome took a shower, and my **** was wet from ***. It made me sad to wash it myself instead ofspraying my fluid onto a girl. almost fapped, but I felt too sour for orgasm, so I resisted and decidedt to write this piece.



Just realised how rude people can be when they are not being paid to interact.

 

[pipeman84]

Just realised how rude people can be when they are not being paid to interact.

Has it ever crossed your mind that YOU were the rude one because you interrupted her? And even after she told you she doesn't talk to strangers, you kept pushing.
If you still don't get it, imagine you're sitting down outside of a fast food chain, eating a Big Mac, and a guy who looks like either he's a beggar or has something to sell, approaches and uses your opener:

'Have seen you around here before' i opened,calculating, 'do you come here often?

You politely say not interested, the equivalent of her 'don't talk to strangers' yet the guy still doesn't get lost and continues to pester you. How would you feel in that situation?

 

[jgnrb]

R

Has it ever crossed your mind that YOU were the rude one because you interrupted her? And even after she told you she doesn't talk to strangers, you kept pushing.
If you still don't get it, imagine you're sitting down outside of a fast food chain, eating a Big Mac, and a guy who looks like either he's a beggar or has something to sell, approaches and uses your opener:

You politely say not interested, the equivalent of her 'don't talk to strangers' yet the guy still doesn't get lost and continues to pester you. How would you feel in that situation?

RADICAL leftist reply on man's forum. You don't know what **** test is? Go blog for huff post

 

[Bingo-Player]

Don't talk to strangers unless you have some sort of reason to or a genuine intention

it Just comes off as awkward otherwise which is what this was

 

[jgnrb]

Bingo-Player help me understand why you're anti pick up?

 

[characternote]

ignoring the fact he done some pretty weird stuff on his approach, I feel like part of the problem (and the reason he won't get the sort of replies he wants) is because I bet he's coming at this from an oldschool PUA school of thought where people are taught you can 'game' your way into any girls pants if you 'do it right'.

edit: i started writing this post before any replies and can now see my suspicion was basically correct:

R
RADICAL leftist reply on man's forum. You don't know what **** test is? Go blog for huff post

confirms my thoughts.

You would have gotten very different replies to the ones you will get now had you made this post 10 years ago or so.

'Plowing' for example and various lines and things you should have done and that explained her lack of interest/attraction would have been the solution (in theory. It was a load of nonsense sold by pickup artists).

None of taht stuff is advised or talked about nowadays. You can't negotiate attraction. She wasn't into you. Even if you had 'ran perfect game'

 

[jgnrb]

Do i compliment her body parts ( eyes nose mouth legs ass ) or clothes? Or just say you look good?https://www.puaforums.co.uk/field-reports/29182-my-goal-50-approaches-10.html

 

[Murk]

I rephrase; this is my first time seeing you.She replies, i Don't talk to strangers.

That was your que to excuse yourself. Instead, you harrassed her, didn't get the hint, she wasn't flirting, laughing, smiling or asking you questions.

You are probably a troll, but people reading this may need to hear it, this is how stalking, r*pist/murders behave. You went home and washed the come off yourself, as if any of that interaction was arousing, bizarre. What you should have done is called a friend, had a beer and talked about it. Please don't commit any crimes on women.

 

[characternote]

That was your que to excuse yourself

Yep

I'm putting aside the weirdness of the rest of his post
When I was new to this, i'd watch too much sh1t from salesmen (pretending to be pickup gods who can get ANY girl they want). It was common back then to assume every rejection was simply a result of sub par game. That if you know game and read the mysterymethod or whatever, you can bang ANY and EVERY girl you approach. Even if you are 55 and bald and fat and she is an 18 year old 10/10 model.

It's obviously complete nonsense but so many people ate it up, and it's only really in the last few years that everyone seems to realise how ridiculous it all was in hindsight lol. People now realise that mystery or whoever else would be getting rejected a huge percentage of the time if going for the young stunners. The convos on PUA forums are generally nothing like they used to be.

As you say, that was his cue to get out of there but so many PUA types have probably brainwashed him into thinking that every rejection is just a 'test' and you just need the right 'objection handling line' (john anthony! lol) in order to turn any and every girl from no to yes, and baby step her to bed. (the irony is that even in the infields of their PUA heros, this never happens and they only bang the girls who are extremely receptive from the off to the approach)

In truth, she makes up her mind almost instantly. Your job is to have enough social skills (basic!) to read her interest level. As you rightly say, if she's not smiling, asking you stuff etc, then it's VERY likely a 'no', and you need to move on to the next one.

 

[Stanley]

Don't talk to strangers unless you have some sort of reason to or a genuine intention

it Just comes off as awkward otherwise which is what this was

I talk to strangers all the time, nothing wrong with being personable, But there is a caveat.

If you are charming and warm then people will chat with you if the setting is correct. At a supermarket and having a little banter with the cashier? Great! On a walk around the pond and meet eyes with a passersby? Give them a head nod and smile. Woman finishing her meal at Mcdonalds and you walk up out of the blue full of anxious energy and approach her with romantic intent? No good. Only way that would work is if she found you very attractive or exceptionally 'suave' , which is unlikely.

I get what you mean though and just wanted to expand

@jgnrb

The woman expressed very quickly she was not interested verbally, there were certainly other things like body language being communicated which indicated the same. I'm not going to knock you for approaching and overcoming your anxiety in the moment, but try speaking with others more frequently, be more social, be more personable and the social anxiety will fade with time. The more confident you are in your social skills the more easy and natural it will become to chat with people. Cheesy pickup lines rarely work and are best used in a blatantly ironic and funny fashion.

Also, as illustrated above, you need to know when to engage with people/strangers in an appropriate manner. Feel free to let it rip and spam approach like some old Pua's would advise, but the results will be telling.

 

[jgnrb]

Cold approach rejection!

Just wanted to post about my weekend rejection. Was at the bar by the pool table, noticed a girl bored at a group table looking past the short entertainer guy at the table telling some charismatic story. She was staring right at me through his spot at the table. Some time later I needed a...

www.sosuave.net

How come guy like this doesn't get criticism if approach is a bad thing??? Double standard much?

 

[characternote]

Cold approach rejection!

Just wanted to post about my weekend rejection. Was at the bar by the pool table, noticed a girl bored at a group table looking past the short entertainer guy at the table telling some charismatic story. She was staring right at me through his spot at the table. Some time later I needed a...

www.sosuave.net

How come guy like this doesn't get criticism if approach is a bad thing??? Double standard much?

approaching is fine. I do it every night I go out
It's Especially fine if a girl 'appears' to be giving you an indicator of interest, such as in that thread (yeah, I know if didn't work out for him but them's the breaks!)
Your issue was not taking the hint that she wasn't interested (probably thinking you can PUA your way into changing her mind) and then throwing gasoline on the fire by asking her if she wanted to come home with you, and then doubling down (again!!) and trying to re-engage her after she'd also rejected that offer.

 

[Serenity]

How come guy like this doesn't get criticism if approach is a bad thing??? Double standard much?

You think approach as a whole is bad, that's not the case. The way you approached like a desperate dog and kept pushing despite her obviously not being interested is what went wrong here. Further the problem is that you're too socially incompetent to see it and you can't take critcism to learn from it even when all of us point it out to you.

You asked what was wrong, we told you and then you just reject our advice. Why ask? You have already decided you did everything right, so it's probably something about the girl. This is not the case, you're treating her like a cheap wh0re. Any girl with even a little bit of self-respect will be repulsed by your behavior.

 

[Macadellic]

You don’t notice women
You don’t wait for women
You don’t get anxious for women

Women notice you
Women wait for you
Women get anxious for you

You do not enter a woman’s world
She enters to yours so have a life she wants to join