What to do with disrespectful AFC?

[One on One]

I'm recovering from being an AFC and from social anxiety. My social anxiety has been greatly reduced lately so that isn't really a problem and neither is my former AFC self. I'm very happy with who I have become, however I don't have many good friends, especially not from my hometown where I went to high school and spend my summers. College is much better because I don't have to deal with a past reputation. In my hometown, though, I have hardly any friends and the "friends" I have are either AFC or disrespectful or both.

I really don't mind if a friend is AFC. I would try to mold them into being a DJ, but an AFC is cool with me as long as they aren't jealous and disrespectful.

My problem right now is the disrespectful AFC. He is really my only connection to meeting other people around here. Honestly, he doesn't have many friends either, but he knows people that have a lot of friends and he always tags along. He goes out with his buddy and his buddy's friends and then spends the whole night talking to his buddy, meeting noone. It's quite pathetic. Anyways, I digress...

This guy is disrespectful to me, but ONLY when he is around his other friend. It's like he gets an ego boost and thinks he can talk down to me. I would get rid of this guy in a heartbeat, but I'm trying to meet more people around the area and I don't really have other people to go out with so I'm stuck to deal with this disrespect. It's fruitless trying to have a socially intelligent conversation with this guy because he'll avoid the issue and attempt to make you look stupid. He's socially immature. He never approaches girls. When I talk about approaching a girl or go and approach a girl, he'll say something to slight my effort when he doesn't even have the balls to try anything.

I don't even want this guy as a friend, however I need to use him to meet people around here. As soon as I meet people around here, then **** him, but, until then, what should I do?

 

[Starman]

I noticed the same rule applies to meeting friends as to meeting women..

Whenever I act too eager to hook up with friends..or get overly "happy" to see them..their head swells..and they start to treat you as if you're their protege ass kisser just tagging along..

Whenever you act like its good to see them..and dont give a fvck..they start kissin your a$$..and calling you..etc..try it and see

 

[One on One]

Originally posted by Starman
I noticed the same rule applies to meeting friends as to meeting women..

Whenever I act too eager to hook up with friends..or get overly "happy" to see them..their head swells..and they start to treat you as if you're their protege ass kisser just tagging along..

Whenever you act like its good to see them..and dont give a fvck..they start kissin your a$$..and calling you..etc..try it and see

That's good advice. I've been doing that lately and I don't ask this guy to hang out with me, but I generally accept when he makes an offer. I work out with him like 5 times a week, though. I think I'll change my schedule and start seeing him less and less and rejecting even more of his offers. Still, it is tough because I have a bad previous reputation to get rid of and this guy seems to get an inflated ego from his other friend.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by dave134
...Still, it is tough because I have a bad previous reputation to get rid of and this guy seems to get an inflated ego from his other friend.

Sounds like a good enough reason to start over and find a new wingman. It sarging works much better when you can work together instead of having some guy kissing @ss to inflate his nonexistant self confidence.

 

[Starman]

Yea just start acting more aloof to him..and he will eventually get the message..you have to start acting like "They SHOULD be HONORED to be hangin out with you.."

Other guys especially kiss your ass if they see you have the balls that they dont to approach women..even if you get turned down..they respect you for it..

I once went out with a friend, who is usually the alpha male .. and always talking with every chick in a bar..

One time I decided to try his technique..talk to EVERY female in the room..I got about 10 #'s..and later he ditched me (pissed off) and we havent talked much since hahaha

 

[IDMeansNothing]

Call him on his behaviour and put him in his place. You're a DJ and you don't need this sh!it from females or males.

Get him alone and just plain tell him you don't appreciate being dissed, that you showed enough respect NOT to tell him in front of his "non-friends" and that you would appreciate it if he grew some balls of his own. Tell him you would be willing to turn him into a DJ, but not with his current attitude. Be sincere. Don't be C&F, don't be arrogant. Make him a genuine offer. Hell, even be his wing once or twice after he understands what you are offering.

If all this fails, find someone else in his group to hang with, or pound the sh!it out of him (kidding). Just dump them and create your own circle of friends. It is always doable, just be discriminating and take your time. The point is, you are an independent agent. He and his groupy buds should be blown away that you choose to grace them with your prescence. They should be in awe of your confidence in approaching women, and your non-chalant attitude if you get turned down. Remember, your success has nothing to do with anyone but yourself. You are an assertive, kind, fun, cool, suave guy that isn't bothered by much of anything (even though he is being a dikck) In fact, when you get him alone, tell him that if the women overhear him trying to shoot you down, he has ruined any chances of HIS success, not yours.)

Be DJ.

 

[IDMeansNothing]

I just read that Starman said some of the same things I did (or vice versa!)

A little redundant reinforcement from multiple sources is a good thing.