What to do when a female friend rejects you?

[SweetTooth]

Is it best to say goodbye?

I have a female friend who said no to me, but her feelings seem to be wavering, as though there's a spark, say 40% interest? It can be hard to be around her but it hurts me to think I'll never speak to her again.

 

[tincanman99]

I Would Like To Know Myself

I kind of just went through this and I was totally beta. I cut off contact but she is pestering me about talking to her.

Not sure what the answer is...

 

[The_411]

Here's the deal ask yourself is being "friends" with this person going to stunt your dating life or ability to get other non-friend women into your life?

Be honest with yourself you don't have to admit it here.

If, the answer is yes, meaning this "friendship" will interfere then you need to close it off and go no contact.

Now if you honestly don't care and she has hot friends that she can hook you up with and you can use her as social proof then it's worth keeping around for that alone.

Problem is 95% of time and 95% guys can't deal with this situation and get fixated and act out when she gets with someone else.

Girls will pester you becuase they want attention. When you pull back they will chase you until you relent and give them that attention. Then they will ignore you because you were too easy to bait.

Don't waste time with this push/pull drama because it's going to make you nuts and piss you off and you'll waste time with it rather than getting out there and working on new targets.

 

[Maxtro]

It depends on what you are willing to put up with. If you can keep your feelings in-check and keep being friends, then that's good.

Another thing you can do is keep trying to get closer to her and try to make moves on her. Most likely it won't lead anywhere. But at least you will know that you gave it your best shot. Also it will cause her to pull away and end the friendship. Most likely she'll just start ignoring you and no longer initiate contact.

The last method is to just say good bye and tell her to leave you alone.

 

[Johnnyventana]

It is amazing what finding another girl, who's into you, and who you are into, will do to your feelings for this one. Play it cool. Don't chase your 'friend' - and be on the look out for the next chick.

 

[jafyk]

You should move on. When you happen to be in the same vicinity you can be civil and keep it brief.
The other option would be to totally avoid her but this may not always be possible.

 

[backbreaker]

lol, read my first 4 years here on this forum lol. I went through it, so you don't have to. If you never listen to another word I say, cut off all contact and never talk to her again and move on. Please.


**** being friends with her. **** keeping your feelings in check. **** neg hitting, **** trying to game her up or turn the tables, if you don't listen to anything I say, listen to me when I say move on. I literarly wasted 4 years of my life on a *****, that i wasn't even ****ing, yet she had me so wrapped up i tossed girl after girl after girl by the wayside.

she was so cold blooded, she didn't want to date me, yet didn't want anyone else to date me either because then the free gifts and the time would go away. i was her surrogate boyfriend and never got as much as a ****ing handjob out the deal. all I got to was ****ing receipts showing i spent time, and money and emotions on one girl i wasn't even ****ing

ONce she rejects you and says she doesn't see you like that, take heed and just move on. I wish I could go back and move on. I turned down some prime ass becuase I wanted to "be single" when she swung branches. she had me that whipped.

I spent 4 years, not listening to the people here. 4 years thinking I was different and that she was different and that we were different. 4 years of not taking advice. 4 years of late night phone calls, 50-70 dollaridnner tabs wiht a ****ing hug at the end, 4 years of her calling mat night tellingt me she wants to talk to me about "something" only to figure out she didn't want me to go on a date, that i already ****ing cancelled just to talk to her. 4 years of her not wanting to **** me, yet her not letting me meet her equally hot friends either. She had 1 friend (who was cute) who I had heard from more than one person thought i was real cute, yet she went out of her ****ing way to make sure we never saw each other. 4 years fo me having to listen about how bad of a BF her man is and how she is so ready to leave him.. "when time is right" only to get ****ed backwards and sideways everynight, and me feeling like i'm ****ing winning lol, stupid ****er i was. 4 years of picking her up in the rain, thunderstorms after a movie becduase her boyfriend wouldn't, and i not so much get a thank you. 4 years of being woke up at 6-7am when her car was broke down and having to take her places, becuase we are "such buddies' and never get a dime in gas money. 1 year of picking her up from school EVERY Day, even though her boyfriend lived blocks away, he had the smartness to let me do the dirty work. all in the name of "friendship". 4 years of her having the time of her life at parties she won't invite her "Friend" to.

**** that ****. move the **** on. if she doesn't want to; **** you,k find someone that does. **** this friend bull****.
s

she gives you ****.. **** her. i wish i could have went back and had the balls to just say kat suck my **** get the **** out.. my life would have been so much easier and less stressful.


oh and ps, make no mistake, while I was an AFC I was no dummie. She was just that damn good. we kissed often. she would sp9end the night, hell she took it so far one time (when i got brave and started spinning plates) we slept together in the same bed, but never did anything. she knew what she was doing. s he would "be in the neighborhood" and bring me something to eat.make me feel all sp ecial and **** lol.s he would stop by my office and let everyone see me with her, and she is ****ing smoking hot. b ut in return, she had my time, my bank account, in reality mjy compaines bank account... her mom's company n eeded 4 computers for a charity one day, i didn't even let her finish the sentance and I had already decided to take care of it for you. that's aboug 1700 dollars right there, bam. done. she was going out with her girlfriends, here's 40 bucks for drinks, have fun. she didn't have a real job. **** pisses me off typing it lol.

and the most ****ed up part about it all was... about 2 years later, there was a time where I could have dated her, and by them, after spinning plates, gaining some confidence, hitting the gym lol, i realized i didn't even want her lol.

 

[jafyk]

Yup, I hope Backbreaker's post gives you a rude awakening. The situation in most cases can be likened to a friend becoming a zombie in a movie. Whatever they were is dead and gone and well, the future doesn't exist. So, in a movie what you would you do? Shoot that zombie and keep moving.

 

[DMEDFISIK]

Listen to this, and listen to backbreaker's post. For your own good.

Here's the deal ask yourself is being "friends" with this person going to stunt your dating life or ability to get other non-friend women into your life?

Be honest with yourself you don't have to admit it here.

If, the answer is yes, meaning this "friendship" will interfere then you need to close it off and go no contact.

Now if you honestly don't care and she has hot friends that she can hook you up with and you can use her as social proof then it's worth keeping around for that alone.

Problem is 95% of time and 95% guys can't deal with this situation and get fixated and act out when she gets with someone else.

Girls will pester you becuase they want attention. When you pull back they will chase you until you relent and give them that attention. Then they will ignore you because you were too easy to bait.

Don't waste time with this push/pull drama because it's going to make you nuts and piss you off and you'll waste time with it rather than getting out there and working on new targets.

 

[comic_relief]

Backbreaker that was an amazing post bro

While keeping an ex-gf or ex-fling is generally a bad idea, it doesn't always have to be (99.9% of the time it is a bad idea). I'll share a little story with you.

I live with two of my exes. The one girl is my best friend in the world (S). The other girl is my most recent ex-gf (K).

When K and I broke up, she said "Oh I just want to be your friend. Don't be mad at me but I am going to date your best friend." I was reasonably upset with her. So I sat there pissed off and she was SO happy for a month. S had to deal with my b!tching and crying about being single. She was unhappy for me and hates K.

Two weeks ago, I met up with a new girl and have been so happy about everything. Now, K is upset with me all the time (especially since I came home yesterday smelling like sex and perfume ). She doesn't even believe that the girl exists and keeps insulting me, but whenever she starts hating on me than I just start talking about how awesome my day has been :kick: She just gets more and more pissed off the happier I become (even though she has a new boyfriend that just spent $30 on Ruby Tuesdays on their one month anniversary ).

S, on the other hand, loves to talk with the new girl and is VERY happy for me. Her and her boyfriend dealt with everything for the last month when I was sad. Now they see me so Happy with everything.

S spent almost half a year working on our relationship after we broke up to keep our friendship going. It was very hard and a long time. She doesn't have a jealous bone in her body and makes it work.
K on the other hand, refused to spend time at all on trying to stay friends with me. Even though she still says that she wants to stay friends with me. I know that she doesn't care anymore.

You have to ask yourself, is the friendship really worth it? Generally, it is not. You can try to stay friends but sometimes "when a door is open, it cannot be shut and some doors are never worth opening in the first place."

- comic_relief

PS spin more plates and move on. If she really wants to stay friends, than she will give chase after you to stay friends

 

[Htienvu]

Backbreaker, that was so ****ing inspiring.

 

[SweetTooth]

Wow I didn't know I got replies like this the site was down!!!

And okay... I'mma break it off with her. Thanks for the great advice guys her best friend fancies me badly by the way. I should **** her just to piss this chick off.

 

[SweetTooth]

If she really wants to stay friends, than she will give chase after you to stay friends

She does but I don't think it's going to work out. And I feel that she's very very very untrustworthy. I think she spent months leading me on with lies which she still won't admit to and apologize for.

 

[backbreaker]

yeah that was some emotions pouring out right there. **** is real man, **** that turn the tables ****. she wasn't even worth it.

I remember when my fiancee met her when we took our son back to little rock she was like "this is the girl that had you wrapped around her finger lol, she's pretty but nothing special about her" which is her in a nutshell. I had to explain to her, It's not that she was that "perfect", it's that I have grown. I told her she can thank her directly for me being so damn stubborn/cautious/untrusting of women