What to do on summer?

[Boricua_33015]

Just yesterday was the last day of school. Today was my first day of summer. I currently have no freinds because I have ditched all my old freinds who have all treated me like im their ***** and are all at least a year older than me and were more dominant than me, its not a good place to be trust me. Today I was in my house feeling lonely and bored the whole day, being on the computer and playing my video games. I have not had a day like this in a long time where I have nothing to do. I have always had something to do with my so called "freinds" on these kind of days.

I came to the conclusion that I now have no life. I have about 2 to 4 weeks till summer school starts. I am also planning to go job hunting with my dad next week so I can get a job. Maybe I can meet people there or something.

My question is, what can I do right now, to get social status and get acquainted with people, or just find something to do now that I dont have a job, have no school, and have no freinds? I dont want to be bored all day in my house with nothing to do.

Note that I dont have a car, and I also live in the suburbs, there are no walkable distant places to hang out like the movies or anything. I know there is a basketball court that I can walk to, but I am not good at basketball at all. I am also not in shape. Last time I tried playing with my freinds, there was one ass hole who said "next time we play basketball we wont take you". He was probably joking, but I know he kind of meant it, just said it like a joke so I wouldnt take it so seriously. Also I got a workout machine called the Crossbow in my house so that can keep me occupied for a little bit.

Any ideas?

 

[bigtymer]

start working out. Go play basketball when nobody is there and practice and become better and also get a job dude u meet sooooo many people. Dont sit around playing computer games

 

[bigtymer]

ooops

 

[UnexpectedTeen]

you can glue yourself to your computer for the rest of your life.
Or you could: IMPROVE YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!

i am sure that the computer u are using now have access to the net (if not,how the hell would you get here?). The net is so big, it is virtually limitless. there are so many things to learn! yes you said that you have no friends, no job, no school. but you do have a dream right? (i hope.....) pursue your dreams, learn, improve. Use the net to your advantage. read e-books, study, learn why you dont have trustworthy friends. Is it something with your attitude that you yourself didnt know? Or you wanna find an excuse that it is just you, you cant do any thing to change the way your life has been?

So you think that "basketball pro" near you is born with his skills? Yes, the moment he pops out of his mom, he can score 3-pointers and slamdunk? obviously he had practiced tossing balls which didnt went in before he scores 1, rite? You too can be like YaoMing(well... maybe not as tall as him) but as long as you set yourself a goal for yourself, you can do it!!! Practice doesnt make perfect but it will at least make you better.

"there was one ass hole who said "next time we play basketball we wont take you". He was probably joking, but I know he kind of meant it, just said it like a joke so I wouldnt take it so seriously."

Face it! the world is cruel. He was probably NOT joking. He meant wat he said and even he said it like a joke, you should take it seriously. You cant play, it will affect the team performance, what for chosing you?he is not an Assh0le but mearly stating the fact that you are not up to standard to be qualified to play with the team, you wanna play, you improve yourself. And if i say you are a big fat fu<ker without a life, you would probably curse and swear me. But i am stating a fact. it is often easier to change yourself than change the world.

i really wanna ask you wat have you been doing for YOUR life from the day you pop outta your mom till now. Notice that is a statment. Are you living with your right hand and your stick on lonely nights? Notice that is a question

HEY DUDE! WAKE UP ALREADLY!!!!!!!!

 

[Boricua_33015]

i really wanna ask you wat have you been doing for YOUR life from the day you pop outta your mom till now. Notice that is a statment

man i been a social coward all my life. I seriously dont know what have I done for my life to improve myself. Ive been depressed for like 10 years (something happened to me but im not goin into it) and my psychologists say that it has stunted my emotional and psychological growth. I used to be a loner my whole life always in my house until I got to high school.

So I came into high school being more immature than everyone around me and it was hard making freinds. I finally did make some freinds but they all treated me like sh*t and always made me feel stupid. They would always take me as a joke and tease me and when I felt like beating them up they would always just say "dawg you are taking it to the heart, chill out" The statement I get alot "grow up!" Man but I can't do anything about it. Ive been reading stuff for the past 2 years. First to get rid of my shyness, and then I started looking on how to get girls and thats when I learned Self Imrpovement. Its all about self improvement. Ever since then Ive been trying to read everything I can on self improvement and I even got a book called Dianetics. Supposedly its a very good emotional health book.

Sh1t I dont know man, fvck, everything is so screwed up. I am probably the most immature person in my age group. Im getting a little too personal so ima end this now......

 

[Da Game]

Wow.. Your story sounds a lot like mine. I went to a strange little private school up to 5th grade, and when I changed to a slightly larger school I was the social outcast for 3 years. Made fun of constantly, etc. It was hell. Then I started working on getting out of my shell, I moved schools, and now I'm doing well.

Life can deal you a sh!tty hand, but you can change it. No matter how much things suck right now, they won't be that way forever if you try to change it. You're reading about stuff - that's a good step. Keep doing that. Remember, changing yourself to who you want to be isn't instant. I've been working on it for about 4 years now, and I'm still not quite where I want to be. So don't get too discouraged... Life really does get better.

This suggestion might be slightly biased, but consider joining the debate team (if your school has one). It'll give you something to do, and you'll meet tons of people. You'll also learn about public speaking, which will reduce your shyness even more and make you a more effective person in general. It helped me a ton, and it's a blast too, if you're good at it.

Also, if you're depressed, try exercising more. It's a biological fact that exercise releases chemicals that make you happier. You'll be healthier, and feel and look better. Just push yourself to get out and do it.

Good luck.

 

[Sax God]

Join a gym, pick up a sport, whatever. Make sure that there will be women wherever you end up, and make sure that it is in some way improving yourself.

 

[BWSL2]

I'm a parallel to you in a lot of ways. I don't know the cure, but I know some treatments.

1. Listen, I know you're emotionally stunted, etc. But look over your post-how freakin sad do you sound? I know that's how you feel, but the more you talk like that, the worse it will get. Trust me bro. You don't have to walk around being perky, just cut out the depression. It's negative reinforcement. You have the idea in your head that you suck and life sucks-get past that roadblock and don't think like that. Look at the good stuff.

2. Get out and do something. Especially if it helps you get in shape. Basketball is good. Look on the net for tips, or try hoopsking.com to buy books, videos, etc. You don't need to be on the court to get better-focus on ballhandling and you'll be a hero. From now on, any minute that you're on the computer and not looking at useful information, is a complete waste and it is slowly killing you. Even then, don't spend more than an hour a time online. The fresh air generally makes you feel better, and you can get a tan while you're at it.

3. You're out of shape? Go to the health & fitness forum and check out the sticky at the top about "Cutting." Get in shape, it's important to have a base to build on.

4. Laugh, dammit. You need a good laugh. I recommend Stephen Lynch, Dave Chappelle, and basically anyone on Comedy Central. Just find something that makes you laugh, but something smart too. No cheap gross-out stuff like American Pie or jackass. It's funny, but anyone can do that stuff. South Park, especially the new seasons, is surprisingly smart for a show with it's reputation.

5. Don't take life too seriously. Even with all the crap you have to put up with. Just relax, man. You know that guy that told you he wouldn't pick you next time? Screw him. He's just trying to get a laugh, and boost himself up. They're not. You're going to die some day. No matter what. Don't let that crap take up your time. There's too much good stuff to get to.

It won't make your problems go away. You've got a ways to go-everyone does. But you need to start somewhere. Keep your head up.

 

[drixsa]

borica im impressed

youve taken a step back in one way and two steps forward in another

in terms of makin new friends:

call other individual guys from your school, or that you know well but dont socialize with. Make sure they arent related to your old "friends".

i know it seems hard b/c guys have their groups but believe or not guys are usually way more inviting and excepting than girls.

call them to go workout, play some ball, go see a movie, go grab lunch, go watch a game, go to a party, go to a concert, go to a bar(if u got a fake), etc. (i think i have named just about everythin "normal")

i hate to burst your bubble but no one gets buff or even in shape using crossbows or bowflex or what ever machines u use. Its all about bars, dumbells, freeweights. AND...running. both of which can do wonders for your self confidence.

then b4 or after call some girls for plans. It does not have to be a date. jus call them to do all the above things. One girl i met induced me to one of my best friends and i dont even talk to her now.

try to get a job if possible that is social that you can meet many ppl your age. e.g. apply to a job at a fitness club/GYM. that way you can meet a lotta gurls your age some older/younger. you can also workout cheaper/free.

bout a 1.5 yrs ago i left some *******s friends. They did not abuse me like your friends did to u, but *******s they were. a yr later I found out they were talkin **** bout me went straight up to their asses. They were scared ****less...u know why? b/c i had been weight lifting 5 days a week for a yr and i had become one strong, buff motherfaucker. Not over weight w/ ***** tites, i had become a rock with a huge chest. They wont even look me in the damn eyes anymore.

and i didnt do it with a mf'ing crossbow

even if u have to take a bus or walk to a gym, get there. I have been all over miami and their are almost as many gyms as ppl.

i actually went to david barton's gym in miami beach ( a lil gay but good stuff)

 

[Maximus08]

Bravo UnexpectedTeen

They are all right no one is set on the world with talent.

humans are learning en you can learing everything you like
to so that the ass**** is wrong en that you can do it.

have more faith in your self rhen you will become waht you have dream off.

 

[Da Irishman]

You talk about depression. I believe this is caused by a lack of confidence. You said you were out of shape, some said you should join the gym but you also said you dont have a car. What you won't believe however is how easy it is to get fit at home (i selected this point because it is the easiest confidence booster and can often help many other aspects of your life).

1. Simple cardio work; a light run for say 10 minutes after you wake up to get your metabolism up to speed.

2. Simple resistance work. At any time of the day do as many push ups as you can do then do as many sit ups as you can do. Have a rest day after every two workout days.

The important thing to remember with the resistance work is to try and add another 5 reps every 3rd time you exercise and keep building. It may seem impossible at the time but often your body can do more than you give it credit for. Also increasing the number of reps continually over time will yield visible gains very quickly, and keep them coming.

 

[PiHiPlaya]

last year, before I found sosuave I was pathetic. I was failing all my classes and had no friends, then I found my blessing. Summer School! I don't know how it works down there but up here its a combination of schools... that means a great time to get a fresh start, no one will know you at you start out with an equal chance! Focus on making friends with guys you like that are Natural DJs more girls will come your way.

Lifting weights is the way to go! Right now I am using musclenow (if you wanna know more about it just pm me and i'll send you the link) and it has helped me a lot. I'm about 3 weeks in and i'm already seeing results.

Play basketball when no one and everyone is looking, don't worry about playing well cuz basketball isn't that important. You shouldn't let other people limit you to the fun you are having. It should be better for you to miss every shot with everyone looking but you still having fun than it is to make a lot of shots with no one looking, but hating yourself to be perfect.

Long story short, turn off whatever screen your looking at and get out there and do something!

 

[Boricua_33015]

really when you say that I look sad, I dont hold myself as a sad person. I at least fake some confidence and I hold myself as a happy and confident person. People wont notice that Im depressed because I learned how to fake cofidence.

 

[Boricua_33015]

drixsa you said I should some of the acquaintances from school. Well first, I dont have any phone numbers. Second, I know how to get a number from a girl, but a guy? and without sounding gay? I dunno. Im not experienced in freinds or anything like that. How would I go about making plans without an aquaintances if I dont have their number or how do I ask for their number. Obviously I would have to make some plans to even ask for the number first. I would have to have a reason.

I also dont have a car, so how can I make plans with someone if I dont have a car to pick them up or something or a ride. Do I ask the acquaintance "hey im goin to so and so wanna meet me up?" and then id go take the bus and meet him up there. Can I ask him if he could pick me up? Thats kind of odd though if I ask him to pick me up because then its like I would be asking him to take me on a fvcking date.

I know all this sounds silly but Im inexperienced in alot of things.......

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by Boricua_33015
drixsa you said I should some of the acquaintances from school. Well first, I dont have any phone numbers. Second, I know how to get a number from a girl, but a guy? and without sounding gay? I dunno. Im not experienced in freinds or anything like that. How would I go about making plans without an aquaintances if I dont have their number or how do I ask for their number. Obviously I would have to make some plans to even ask for the number first. I would have to have a reason.

I also dont have a car, so how can I make plans with someone if I dont have a car to pick them up or something or a ride. Do I ask the acquaintance "hey im goin to so and so wanna meet me up?" and then id go take the bus and meet him up there. Can I ask him if he could pick me up? Thats kind of odd though if I ask him to pick me up because then its like I would be asking him to take me on a fvcking date.

I know all this sounds silly but Im inexperienced in alot of things.......

Regarding phone numbers:
do you have a school directory? if yes, think of guys that you would like to hang out with, guys that you are "in-school" friends with but may not have seen on the weekend.

i have done this myself.

if i see them:
-conversation goes for a little-

"hey Robby(your guy's name here), we should chill sometime"

robby: "yea, definately"

"Here, why dont you give me your cell # and ill give you a call if anythin is goin on later"

Robby: "aight sure, its $$$$-$$$-$$$$"

"aight, cool...ill talk to you later"

this is what i did even b4 i was pickin up girls #'s. right after asking a guy for his number for the first time i felt like a homo, but then i realized that is was a good way of meeting people and having more options on where to spend my free time(parties, hittin clubs/bars, goin to some ball games, jus chillin, grabbin dinner etc.) And the last thing a normal guy would be worried about is if you are tryin to hit on him. You would have to be dressed in pink and have a lisp for him to get that impression.

in terms of a car:
parent/gaurdian are what i used for rides until i could drive.

if u cannot do that think of buses/taxis as your last options.(though taxis are great for late nights)

so u call him to set up plans

"hey robby, whats up?"

robby : "blah blah blah, you?"

"not to much, i was wonderin if u wanted to chill/go to _____ tonite?"

Robby: "yea sure sounds good"

"aight cool, only one problem, i cannot drive, would it be cool if you picked me up?"

Robby: "yea sure no prob, what time?"

BOOM! your good to go

and dont think of it as a DATE

your just 2-plus guys chillin, goin out for a drive, gettin dinner, etc.

i do that quite often, or at least most nights start that way. i can tell you that most of the guys, on this site and everywhere do that.

and im tellin you that you will be suprised how many ppl are welcoming and are in similar situations as you.

aight man... keep workin at it...one step at a time

 

[Boricua_33015]

suprised u didnt rag on me or anything. Thanks for the tips mang ur a big help.

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by Boricua_33015
suprised u didnt rag on me or anything. Thanks for the tips mang ur a big help.

you have started to ask the right questions and i can see that you are tryin to take the next step.

i am here to help, or at least to try to

 

[Boricua_33015]

BWSL2 that link you gave me is fvcking awesome. Basketball is my favorite sport but I just suck at it and I never owned a basketball or a hoop so I never got a chance to practice. Whenever I went to a court I was always the person who sucked the most so I stayed away from all courts. I am really considering getting those videos that they have once I save up some money, thatll take me like 3 months though, no problem, Im patient enough to wait. Im not bad at shooting the ball but I definately need skills on handling the ball and changing directions with the ball, and the video they sell for handling the ball is perfect for my situation.