What to do if your gf denies you sex?

[AdamJ]

My gf and I see each other 2 or 3 times a week on average. We are just making our way back from a gig. It's still quite early. About 10. I expect her to come back to mine but she says she's "tired". I say fair enough and then come back home alone but to be honest I'm quite annoyed.

I think if a girl doesn't want her guy to start sniffing up other skirts then servicing his needs once a day or in my case three times a week isn't asking for the world. I dont think I'm being unreasonable in my irritation.

Im going NC till friday night when I will call her up and treat her like a bootycall. I took her out, treated her to some music and this is the response? Fvck that. If this becomes a recurring issue then I will have to end things/cheat.

 

[TheException]

I think if a girl doesn't want her guy to start sniffing up other skirts then servicing his needs once a day or in my case three times a week isn't asking for the world. I dont think I'm being unreasonable in my irritation.

Start communicating that to her......and no, NOT OVERTLY WITH WORDS.

Start hitting the gym up super hard. Talk to everyone, even women in front of your girlfriend. Have ambitions. And finally.....if she still doesnt get it.....dump her. I know it sounds extreme but there is zero need to be in a relationship were you dont get sex.

 

[JoeMarron]

NC implies ignoring her. I wouldn't do that, seems too pouty to me. She legitimately could've just been tired. Just let her initiate the next date/conversation. If she does it again do what TheException said.

 

[j.619]

Start communicating that to her......and no, NOT OVERTLY WITH WORDS.

Start hitting the gym up super hard. Talk to everyone, even women in front of your girlfriend. Have ambitions. And finally.....if she still doesnt get it.....dump her. I know it sounds extreme but there is zero need to be in a relationship were you dont get sex.

Your responses are always so amazingly simple, yet amazingly relevant :rockon:

 

[AdamJ]

NC implies ignoring her. I wouldn't do that, seems too pouty to me. She legitimately could've just been tired. Just let her initiate the next date/conversation. If she does it again do what TheException said.

That's the thing though. I dont want do tolerate this at all. Ive spoken to guys who have been with their gfs 2+ years who've never been denied sex. Even in their periods their gfs will suck them dry.

I can't see her getting the message any other way than a dump or overt cheating.

 

[Fly By Night]

Have you tried... implying sex to her? I had the same problem with my gf, but when I brought it up to her, she said she had no idea that I wanted to eff and I should start showing her when I wanted it. Since I started doing that, I've literally have had sex with her at any time of the day.

You literally have to start doing physical things that imply you want to have sex. I don't like the piece of advice that said to flirt with other girls around her because you don't communicate well, personally, that's just immature and causes problems. All you have to do is get PHYSICAL. Grab her ass, reach between her thighs, kiss/nibble her ears, grope her from behind, tell her how great/hot/sexy she looks at that moment, whisper to her to go back to your place, do SOMETHING to show her what you're expecting.

If you're the leader of this relationship, you got to do some leading.

 

[goldengoose]

If you're girlfriend is denying you sex, then the relatonship is over. Acting aloof or trying to get her interest back won't help you. The denying of sex tells you that she lost sexual interest in you which is most likely due to another man who is making her vag tingle and get wet. A girlfriend denying sex tells you that she doesn't want you anymore. Time for a new girlfriend. Going NC won't help becaue when you're not talking she will banging a dude she wants to bang. It's a lost cause when the sex becomes an issue.

Isn't this your girlfriend who was overweight that you were thinking of dumping before?

Have you tried... implying sex to her? I had the same problem with my gf, but when I brought it up to her, she said she had no idea that I wanted to eff and I should start showing her when I wanted it. Since I started doing that, I've literally have had sex with her at any time of the day.

You literally have to start doing physical things that imply you want to have sex. I don't like the piece of advice that said to flirt with other girls around her because you don't communicate well, personally, that's just immature and causes problems. All you have to do is get PHYSICAL. Grab her ass, reach between her thighs, kiss/nibble her ears, grope her from behind, tell her how great/hot/sexy she looks at that moment, whisper to her to go back to your place, do SOMETHING to show her what you're expecting.

If you're the leader of this relationship, you got to do some leading.

This does nothing if the girl is outright denying you sex. Escalating won't do anything because it isn't turning her on. You have to think back in the beginning of the relationship, probably she couldn't wait to jump him, now she doesn't. That means game over. Trying to do other things to get interest back won't help when it's gone.

 

[Ray S]

If it only happened the once I wouldn't get to worked up. If it's happening frequently then she is probably getting it on with another dude.

 

[El Payaso]

Have you tried... implying sex to her? I had the same problem with my gf, but when I brought it up to her, she said she had no idea that I wanted to eff and I should start showing her when I wanted it. Since I started doing that, I've literally have had sex with her at any time of the day.

You literally have to start doing physical things that imply you want to have sex. I don't like the piece of advice that said to flirt with other girls around her because you don't communicate well, personally, that's just immature and causes problems. All you have to do is get PHYSICAL. Grab her ass, reach between her thighs, kiss/nibble her ears, grope her from behind, tell her how great/hot/sexy she looks at that moment, whisper to her to go back to your place, do SOMETHING to show her what you're expecting.

If you're the leader of this relationship, you got to do some leading.

Listen to this guy. OP, there is nothing in your post that said you wanted to have sex with her or she outright denied you. You didn't even say anything at all to her. All she said was she's tired and you dropped her off home.

What your are frustrated about is YOUR lack of ability to communicate. All you had to do when she said she was tired was "There's this really cool thing I have to show you back at my place". That's all you needed to do to get get back at your place.

If you don't state your intentions to her or at least mask them, you can't complain when you didn't even do $h!t.

 

[Tomo]

That which was said above. Or go home with her jump on the bed, tell her to relax and start massaging and slowly escalating from there. You thought she implied she was not interested tonight and simply called it quits so it was more your mental mindset. Persistance is the key as long as you don't come off as needy or clingy.

 

[JoeMarron]

That's the thing though. I dont want do tolerate this at all. Ive spoken to guys who have been with their gfs 2+ years who've never been denied sex. Even in their periods their gfs will suck them dry.

I can't see her getting the message any other way than a dump or overt cheating.

Fly By Night made an excellent point. Do you guys usually always have sex every time you meet? Even then I really don't see it as her denying you unless she's using this excuse often. After she said she was tired did you invite yourself in and she denied you? I really don't see this as being that big of a deal. When she starts blatantly denying you on the regular that's when you need to take action.

 

[backbreaker]

There are no breaks on the rape train



j/k




kinda

 

[AdamJ]

Have you tried... implying sex to her? I had the same problem with my gf, but when I brought it up to her, she said she had no idea that I wanted to eff and I should start showing her when I wanted it. Since I started doing that, I've literally have had sex with her at any time of the day.

You literally have to start doing physical things that imply you want to have sex. I don't like the piece of advice that said to flirt with other girls around her because you don't communicate well, personally, that's just immature and causes problems. All you have to do is get PHYSICAL. Grab her ass, reach between her thighs, kiss/nibble her ears, grope her from behind, tell her how great/hot/sexy she looks at that moment, whisper to her to go back to your place, do SOMETHING to show her what you're expecting.

If you're the leader of this relationship, you got to do some leading.

This is a really good point. I guess I didn't really make it clear what I wanted, but like Mauser above is saying I kind of feel like it should be obvious.

I feel like I shouldn't have to make my intentions clear as end of the night sex should be implied from the start.

 

[AdamJ]

That which was said above. Or go home with her jump on the bed, tell her to relax and start massaging and slowly escalating from there. You thought she implied she was not interested tonight and simply called it quits so it was more your mental mindset. Persistance is the key as long as you don't come off as needy or clingy.

Perhaps it is more my mental mindset. When I was single I've always been good at pushing and escalating, not taking no for an answer (minus rape ofc).

But maybe I've lost some of that persistence since being in the relationship since my expectation is that sex should just be given regardless as long as I don't turn into a beta p*ssy.

 

[Jaylan]

I agree with Joe.

Unless this is a regular occurrence, I think OP is being rather whiny. Sometimes people are tired and dont want to have sex. I have a very high sex drive, but sometimes after a long night, or a long week, I just want to rest.

And like El Payaso said, communicate with your woman. Based on your threads on this forum, it seems you need to work on your communication skills OP, rather than assuming things or hoping your gf can read minds.

Best of luck.

 

[Pardner]

Women aren't dumb when it comes to sex especially if she has been giving it to you before with no problems. There are always other reasons behind it when she won't give it up.

 

[AdamJ]

My girl never denies me sex. Why? Because I overtly stated in the very beginning that if I don't get sexually satisfied I will just go get it elsewhere.

I did not state it as a threat, but something I felt was a male right. A woman has no claim to my body if she will not please it.

You would be shocked at how women will have no problem pleasing you when you have this mindset.

Damn. That is awesome. But we've been together about 5 months now so do you think I've missed my opportunity to set out new ground rules for the relationship?

If not how would you recommend I bring it up?

 

[fuko2007]

You didnt get turned down for sex. You have to ask for something to get turned down. She might have wanted to go home bc she was tierd. I recently almost got friendzoned the other week. The girl was all talking about being friends and what not, I said Hell no.

Now what i did with her you can use with your gf, she and i went out recently to "hang out" well as soon as we met i started every trick in the book. Touching, eye contact, sexuial conversation you name it. Think of it as the first time you met her and your gaming her up for sex. But you have to start as SOON as you see her this way you communicate your intentions from the get go. Then she will know you want some sex but if you get shot down from that point its over man. But it worked for me , so hope it works for you.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Rollo says you can't negotiate desire. Your GF either has sexual feelings towards you or she doesn't.
There's nothing you can say (Mauser may beg to differ after his memorable experience) that will make her genuinely desire you.
It sucks.
Sure, you may guilt her into putting out more often but I'd rather fap than fvck a girl I know is only receiving my junk out of obligation.

OP, chalk this one up to genuine tiredness but keep your eyes peeled for a pattern of behaviour which indicates she just doesn't get the vagina tingles for you anymore.

 

[RagingBalls]

My gf and I see each other 2 or 3 times a week on average. We are just making our way back from a gig. It's still quite early. About 10. I expect her to come back to mine but she says she's "tired". I say fair enough and then come back home alone but to be honest I'm quite annoyed.

I think if a girl doesn't want her guy to start sniffing up other skirts then servicing his needs once a day or in my case three times a week isn't asking for the world. I dont think I'm being unreasonable in my irritation.

Im going NC till friday night when I will call her up and treat her like a bootycall. I took her out, treated her to some music and this is the response? Fvck that. If this becomes a recurring issue then I will have to end things/cheat.

If she isn't always like this and likes sex like you do, then cut some slack on her and let her rest. It does happen and understand that it happens even to us men too and i know you've been tired as a dog at some point too. Yeah, We sometimes gets too tired and exhausted from the daily challenges of life that we would only want to rest.

I do feel you bro, been there before, if your getting the amount of sex in your relationship with this girl, i advice you to understand that it does happen once in a while, people get tired, feel sick and knackered.

Now, if she really isn't into sex like all the time, then it's time for you to pack up. You don't have to cheat.Just end your relationship and find someone else with the same level of sexual deviancy