What the fvck is wrong with me?

[SHChamp]

Currently dating 4 other women, have the option to fvck 2 FB's whenever I want, but I literally don't want to. There is one I have worked with (HB9), went on a date with and spoken to for 8 months. I expected to keep it scrictly as a friendship due to common social circles and work, but I can't get my mind off this girl.

Constant eye-contact, heavy kino, but she's playing games. She flaked when I asked her out once, never did again. Tried to gain my attention back several times, ignored it and focused on other prospects. Problem is, every time I date another girl I cannot get my mind off of HB9. On top of this, she's dating and probably (let's be real) fvcking another guy.

As I'm writing this I'm quite sure that she's trying to keep me around as an orbiter, because every time I try to get her and I alone she takes a step back. I am aware of this, and I do not contact or speak to her unless we're in a social setting. Whenever she sees me, she's all over me. One time she avoided me for a day, because I was going to an event where the guy she's dating and I would be at the same time.

I sent her a text:

Me: HB9, Are we good?
Her: No, I'm avoiding you, can't you tell?
Me: I can tell everything you're thinking.
Me: But, I'll just continue to act stupid and assume we're good.
Her: Haha ofcourse we are, crazy! Why are you asking? (And no, you can not) (4 hours later)
Her: Sorry.. Had to Work.. Phone Died..
Her: And you never call me by my name, what the ****, do I need to worry or something?
Her: SHChamp, god ****ing damn it give me some attention

I left it at this, because I didn't want to move into her little framework. With the exception of the games she's playing, her personality and looks are what I want in a girl. I know I should cut her off and move on, but I do NOT understand why I can't get her out of my mind no matter how many other girls I date or sleep with.

It has come to the point where I don't even want to fvck other girls and PATHETICALLY it's depressing me that I am not progressing with her and that she's continueing to date the other guy. The only good side to this is that she's not aware about what I feel or think, because we rarely speak outside of social settings anymore. Please, feel free to be completely brutal with me, I need a real heavy slap to the face in case I'm ****ing up somehow and I'm not noticing.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You're letting yourself be an orbiter. If she is avoiding you why the hell are you texting her?

Meet other woman. When she dumps the chump, she'll reach out to see if she can suck you back in. That's your only chance to re-establish your frame.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I do NOT understand why I can't get her out of my mind no matter how many other girls I date or sleep with.

It has come to the point where I don't even want to fvck other girls and PATHETICALLY it's depressing me that I am not progressing with her and that she's continueing to date the other guy. The only good side to this is that she's not aware about what I feel or think, because we rarely speak outside of social settings anymore. Please, feel free to be completely brutal with me, I need a real heavy slap to the face in case I'm ****ing up somehow and I'm not noticing.

You can't get her out of your mind because you have oneitis.

 

[marmel75]

You're letting yourself be an orbiter. If she is avoiding you why the hell are you texting her?

Meet other woman. When she dumps the chump, she'll reach out to see if she can suck you back in. That's your only chance to re-establish your frame.

She literally just told you what she wants from you when she said "Goddammit, give me some attention!"

Unsure why you keep playing into it because it's not going to lead to what you want....BUT if you are at an event/club with her and she is all over you, you have serious social proof going for you and should be able to clean up with other women, which will consequently make HER jealous because now she thinks you are "all hers".

I wouldn't expect anything to happen between you but dude, just use it to your advantage every time you can.

Tease her when you are out with her and be like "This is awesome, you can totally help me pick up all the hot chicks!"

 

[_sideways_]

Op, remember a time when you were starving and didn't have food at the moment.
Then remember a time you were too broke to do anything you wanted. She wasn't there. She didn't fulfill you then and she ain't supposed to fulfill you now.
This Hb9.999999 that has the qualities you want in a girl at this particular stage or moment in your life, that will change. Inevitably...
Enjoy what you're feeling though because not every female will give you a brain boner like you have now. Its great to be alive and healthy. If she's trolling this earth then there are more. And how tight is the V?
Exactly!
I'm willing to bet that if and when and after you bone and its not up to code then you'll move on.

 

[yungballa]

I'll tell you this: Grab a hold of yourself.

Grab a fvcking hold of yourself.

You're a man, and you've got your life ahead of you. Oneitis doesn't last forever. Like others have said, you're only in love with her at THIS point of time. Eventually, this little crush will wear off. And when will it? When you've risen above yourself and made something better of yourself. I guarantee it. You're stuck at a level in your life right now, and you think this girl is your everything. You think she likes you. You have expectations. You fantasize about her. You want her. She eats you up inside. She plucks at your heart.

Grab a hold of yourself.

Drop those expectations. The moment you like a girl and have expectations, and those expectations aren't met, you WON'T be a happy camper and you'll most likely fall into the oneitis boat.

You need to stop and realize this situation. Are you really nothing more than a toy to just validate her?

Grab a hold of yourself and eject. She even TOLD you that she wanted your attention. She doesn't like you; SHE JUST WANTS ATTENTION.

I sincerely want to help you, but you can't help anyone who isnt willing to help themselves.

How can you overcome this oneitis? Talk to more females. Stop thinking about her. Go out and fvck more girls. That's not working? Then work on yourself. Improve yourself. Work out. Go chill with your friends. Watch a movie, go hiking, go on a vacation, DO SOMETHING TO OCCUPY YOUR TIME.

The more you sit there with nothing to do, she will take up space in your mind. The more time you spend focusing on your own life, worrying about yourself, she'll be on your mind less. In short, worry about your own life and stop worrying about her.

You're infatuated with her reality. Worry about your own.

 

[Infern0]

It's over with this girl you have blown it beyond salvage.

You need to work on yourself and learn the basics.

 

[marmel75]

I still think you could turn it into easy lays by using her as social proof at places...although you'd find it hard to do that in front of her I bet.

 

[zinc4]

Dude....she's just a woman....pretty soon will be old and ugly ...probably not even a good person...probably takes really stinky ****s and picks her nose when no.ones watching.....

Get a hold of your self and cut her off....

She's taking pleasure in playing with u like a cat does with a mouse....

Try to find a body part of hers that she would be self conscious about and tell her sorry, I usually only date girls with big breasts....kind of a personal hang up I have (or any body part she may be lacking) then drop that ho and watch her hamster spin

 

[salinechow]

HPD !.!.!.!
Classic.
You just described someone I know, ( a girl thats a platonic friend) that tells me stories of f^cking around with guys like you.
Shut down and run. Trust me.

 

[KingBeef]

Currently dating 4 other women, have the option to fvck 2 FB's whenever I want, but I literally don't want to. There is one I have worked with (HB9), went on a date with and spoken to for 8 months. I expected to keep it scrictly as a friendship due to common social circles and work, but I can't get my mind off this girl.

Constant eye-contact, heavy kino, but she's playing games. She flaked when I asked her out once, never did again. Tried to gain my attention back several times, ignored it and focused on other prospects. Problem is, every time I date another girl I cannot get my mind off of HB9. On top of this, she's dating and probably (let's be real) fvcking another guy.

As I'm writing this I'm quite sure that she's trying to keep me around as an orbiter, because every time I try to get her and I alone she takes a step back. I am aware of this, and I do not contact or speak to her unless we're in a social setting. Whenever she sees me, she's all over me. One time she avoided me for a day, because I was going to an event where the guy she's dating and I would be at the same time.

I sent her a text:

Me: HB9, Are we good?
Her: No, I'm avoiding you, can't you tell?
Me: I can tell everything you're thinking.
Me: But, I'll just continue to act stupid and assume we're good.
Her: Haha ofcourse we are, crazy! Why are you asking? (And no, you can not) (4 hours later)
Her: Sorry.. Had to Work.. Phone Died..
Her: And you never call me by my name, what the ****, do I need to worry or something?
Her: SHChamp, god ****ing damn it give me some attention

I left it at this, because I didn't want to move into her little framework. With the exception of the games she's playing, her personality and looks are what I want in a girl. I know I should cut her off and move on, but I do NOT understand why I can't get her out of my mind no matter how many other girls I date or sleep with.

It has come to the point where I don't even want to fvck other girls and PATHETICALLY it's depressing me that I am not progressing with her and that she's continueing to date the other guy. The only good side to this is that she's not aware about what I feel or think, because we rarely speak outside of social settings anymore. Please, feel free to be completely brutal with me, I need a real heavy slap to the face in case I'm ****ing up somehow and I'm not noticing.

Interesting....You're currently dating are dating 4 women and have the option of banging 2 of them but don't want to, however you have oneitis with a "9" that's toying with you....

The way I see it is you're just wasting your time with the hot one who doesn't want you so I would simply get rid of her.....YOUR TIME HAS VALUE, YOU'RE NOT FOR FREE.

As for the others who you can hit up but are not as hot either bang them, use them to attract others or let them go. I don't see the value of dating women who you are not very attracted to.

 

[Infern0]

HPD !.!.!.!
Classic.
You just described someone I know, ( a girl thats a platonic friend) that tells me stories of f^cking around with guys like you.
Shut down and run. Trust me.

This is one of those cases where i'm not going to pull the personality disorder card.

OP has serious issues, just about any HB is gonna either run a mile or use him for validation.

it's him with the problem in this case

 

[SHChamp]

Thank you for the honesty guys. I needed to hear your opinions to validate what my instincts are already telling me. I keep thinking that I'm progressing and then I come back with stuff like this. I am truly doing my hardest to work on myself. I started a business, built a team, created a union and professionally speaking my life is going extremely well which is fulfilling my ambitions.

However, I still seem to revert back to my old ways when I meet a girl I REALLY want. With all the others I don't have an issue getting laid, because I simply am not that interested. I realize I need to take a few steps back, and cut this women out of my life mentally to avoid dropping in that abyss once more. Reading your comments lifted a giant weight off my shoulders. I'm done giving her any attention whatsoever, and instead will use her in specific situations if it fits my purposes to get laid with other girls for social proof.

I took two weeks off and travelled to another country to spend some time for myself and start doing what I did in the first place. Reading as much as I possibly can and doing my best to understand where I fcked up again this time and how to prevent it next time.