What terrifies me: eye contact!!

[GeoWulf_777]

Okay, I've read the DJ Bible. I'm going to college this fall, so I plan on meeting many new chicks soon. But I'm an inexperienced flirter, especially when it comes to eye contact.

When I'm talking to girls, I can maintain eye contact comfortably.

But say I'm sitting in a classroom. I get hella uncomfortable when a girl and I lock eyes. I'm not talking about hot girls, or girls I'm interested in. With ANY girl, eye contact is creepy.

So friends, how do I get over this "phobia"?? I appreciate your help.

 

[Starman]

you need to sit down and do some soul searching..you need to sit down..and write down the thoughts that are going through your head when making eye contact..then challenge those notions

"Ohh here she is looking at me..she probably thinks Im a dork" (OK< she is looking at you, but you dont know what she is thinking)

I know people who grow up in cultures where as children they were punsihed for looking people in the eye (especially asian and some mediterranians) and strict parents who always said "DONT YOU EYEBALL ME BOY!"

so as adults they have been trained to fear looking people in the eye.

after you write down your thoughts during eye contact..start practicing..and replay a little message in your head saying "Eye contact is good. People LIKE eye contact"

repeatedly until the thought becomes automatic

 

[RazzleDazzle]

Sounds like your thinking what are they thinking? If you sit down like Starman says and really honestly think about eye contact what do you find? That it's just you looking at someone else when they are looking at you. Smile and wave the next time. If you have to look away it's your self-esteem, or lack of. You could always just practice too. Get used to looking everyone in the eyes. Just don't stare at them or lower your eyes after you do it. The first could get you punched in the face, the second will make you look like a panzy.

 

[Player69]

If you are really insecure with it at first, try on sunglasses for the first week of practice, then take them off.

 

[Ragnar]

"whether you think you can or think you can't, in both circumstances you are right."
-Henry Ford


Start practising with people that make you feel comfortable and then continue with everyone you meet. YOu don't have to have an eye piercing gaze like a cult leader just make it friendly and smile.

My question for you is if you are not looking into their eyes then where are you looking??

Ask yourself that question. Probably down at the ground. If that is the case then you definitely need to work on it because that is a sign of weakness. Now on the other hand if you are looking at their brea$ts then you have a good reason.

Regards,

 

[TheMachoMan]

If you just stare at someone then it get's a little spooky. You need to smile at her and wave, or instead of waving you could send other emotions to her through your face expression. Practice, and don't forget to smile!

 

[Starman]

I find that when I dont feel like smiling..I make eye contact then raise my eye brows once as to say "Hey! whats up!"

but dont wiggle your eyebrows or you will come across as a perv.

or just do a casual head nod

 

[b_elusive_eyes]

Whenever you come into a social situation with girls develop that "twinkle in your eyes" by just thinking about something funny or outlandish that brings a smile to you...your eyes will light up and appear happy and delighted by the presence of women when all along you were thinking of something that is rather stupid....its all about projecting confidence and happiness around girls....its the eyes that get girls mostly I think on top of everythig else....Chics love the eyes!!! than make your move...the worst they can say is no...but they will respect the fact that you had the nerve to put yourself out on the line...you will develop your game through experience.

 

[Mukester]

Look at the bridge of her nose, instead of her eyes, as its easier to do. Its a salemans technique i read about somewhere on this site in some dusty old post

 

[WatchMeWalk]

If the girl has a pretty face, eye contact is very easy for me to maintain. However, when I socialize with men, EC for more than one second at a time feels weird.
Also, be mindful of your facial expressions. A clueless HB, whom I took to a club, turned me off like a switch when she tried bedroom eyes in combination with a serious frown. Then she acted dissapointed and *****y when I didn't make my move. Geez. . .

 

[Microphone Fiend]

I can understand being afraid of talking but EC? Don't hear that one too often...

Trsut me on this on GeoWulf_777, if you haven't had sex yet, then EC is prolly the closest and most intimate thing you'll get, and although it isn't as fufilling, EC can take your breathe away at times if you let your mind wander (they see the eyes are the window to someone's soul...)

Anyway the way I see it is if someone is looking at you, and they don't break the EC then they are interested (at least for that moment) just lookat them str8 in the eye, because in all probablity they will talk about you behind your back more if you can't hold EC, and not holding it or attempting to just portrays you as a weak person

I don't smile when I hold EC but I will try to instill that into my game soon. Smiling in my opinion is optional because unless you have something to smile about you will probably come off fake

 

[unstopablekillah]

my situation is a weird one. i am a confident person and also a pretty good looking guy. i have no problem initiating eye contact and actually enjoy doing it. whenever i do it, however , girls dont hold the eye contact. they always look away. am i doing something wrong?