What should I do with this girl tonight?

[BPH]

Got a girl I'm hangin out tonight with. College freshman, both of us.

I brought her and her friend with my friends and I to a party after hanging out with her at the beach and having a good time, plenty of kino. Kiss closed her at the party but she had early classes and had to leave, I almost went with her but decided against it since she was going straight to bed.

Texted her later that night about hanging out and she starts telling me that my friends (I think I know which one it was) made it seem like she was just a booty call and that she's not that kinda girl. So I did some damage control before my phone got messed up from water damage at this foam party.

Anyway we're going to hang out later today but I don't know exactly what I should do. Invite her to the dorm room and go for the lay, but risk driving her off because it would confirm her booty call worries? Or take her out on a...DATE...then try later?

I'm not good at relationships and dating, but I'm great with sexuality. Not sure how to approach this.

 

[SeymourCake]

Quit being indecisive. The question should be "What do I want to do with this girl tonight", not "What should I do with this girl tonight".

Hopefully you have an answer to the first question by the time you finished reading this sentence.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Here's a plan: STOP thinking about whatever agenda you have and be AWARE of the situation.

I'm telling you this because I had a problem with it back when I was in college. At the time, I was still trying to be a virgin (so girls wouldn't think I was trying to get them for sex) and went out with MY agenda of: "take girl out, have good time, take her home." Completely IGNORING any signs indicating she had her own agenda, i.e. to sleep with me if I was DTF.

YOUR agenda doesn't really matter. You can want to sleep with her, but how about looking for signs from HER indicating she wants to do the same? Here's a quick list that can help:

1. DO NOT BRING UP SEX. Not even in joking. If she's thinking about you in that way at all, SHE'LL bring it up. It may be in a comment she makes, an innuendo, asking about how many girls you've been with before (never give a straight answer to this, btw, and NEVER say "none")... if she broaches the subject at all, she's DTF.

2. DO NOT INITIATE KINO. The best indicator that she's comfortable with you touching her... is to let HER touch YOU first. A brush across the arm, or a sudden arm grab while she's talking to you, or a playful hit, etc. - her touching YOU means she wants YOU touching her back.

3. BE A FUN GUY. Simple, right? That means show her a good time. Make her laugh. And, for the love of GOD, don't be that guy that spills his guts about past girls treating him bad, or bringing up sob stories of any kind.

4. BE VAGUE IF SHE BRINGS UP THE "ARE YOU A PLAYER?" OR "AM I A BOOTY CALL?" QUESTIONS. Back in the day I used to answer "no" to these questions 'cause (a) I wasn't and (b) I thought it would make them want me more. Turns out it's a trap if you answer it. In reality, women WANT to think you're able to get and/or are being pursued by other women.

Instead, don't take these questions seriously. If she asks "are you a player," laugh it off: "Yeah, I play basketball, football, soccer..." or turn it around on her: "Why, are you saying YOU'RE a player?" If she asks "Am I a booty call?" same thing, joke with her: "Are you kidding? I didn't even know your booty could talk on the phone!" or " Why, are you trying to make me YOUR booty call?"

Ultimately, the more fun you have and the less serious you make this whole thing ('cause it's REALLY not a big deal), the more likely you are to be able to score with this chick - if not this time, then definitely the next. But again, LOOK FOR SIGNALS FROM HER INDICATING SHE'S DTF BEFORE YOU JUMP AHEAD AND MAKE MOVES.

Hope this helps!

 

[BPH]

False alarm...

My phone had water damage the last 2 days so I couldn't text this girl. Basically I just got my phone and she's telling me she forgot about tonight and made plans that she can't cancel.

Lovely...

 

[BPH]

Alright so today we're gonna go on something of a dinner date...I almost never do dates but this girl wants to go to dinner and I decided to go with it on account of my friend.

He's a virgin by choice, very good at making girls fall in love with him, so I figured I would try a more sensitive route. Plan to invite her to watch the movie after I get back...very curious to see how this goes...I've only been on like one actual date in my life...

 

[BPH]

Sorry I keep replying to my own posts but I don't know how to deal with this situation...

Went to the dinner with the girl, everything's all good, hang out in my room and start watching a movie on my laptop. We start making out a little but she can only be here for 15 minutes. After she leaves 20 minutes or so pass and I get this text message from her...

"Hey sorry if i was being weird lol its just that i just got out of a long relationship not even 2 weeks ago so im not really interested or ready for anything more than friends. Youre really nice its just too soon for me. So I just wanna hang out as friends if thats cool with you. I felt like i needed to be upfront about it"

Not sure if I should tell her that I can't be just friends with a girl I like or to just say that it's cool and see if something comes up later. Anyone advice?

 

[SeymourCake]

"Hey sorry if i was being weird lol its just that i just got out of a long relationship not even 2 weeks ago so im not really interested or ready for anything more than friends. Youre really nice its just too soon for me. So I just wanna hang out as friends if thats cool with you. I felt like i needed to be upfront about it"

Uh, what? If she felt like it needed to be "upfront" about it then why did she text you this message? Wouldn't it be upfront if she told you that in person?

My advice? Stop wasting your time on this woman. Go out in search for better things in life.