Toohot4upilot
Don Juan
A Forgotten Post...
Okay, so it all started - I’m sitting at home… "So, what you do when you’re not working?" Jay asked me. We're sitting on the couch at one of those tedious holiday get-togethers, you know, the ones where you're supposed to be nice to family members you never see except during major holidays and funerals. I never even knew this guy... I think Jay is my old mans friends wife’s brother-in-law's second cousin or something…
Now I wasn't going to start telling him about my seduction hobbie and the only other intrest I have is keeping fit "I go to the gym…" I say. Jay looks at me with a blank expression on his face, as if I'd just told him I sell handmade testicle warmers beside the motorway and was looking to open franchises across the nation. Blank expression. Deer caught in the headlights. Ronnie Coleman doing trigonometry… "Oh," Jay finally says, "I heard you were, like, one of those guys or something. So, what's that like, you know, working out every day and stuff? I just don't have time to run or lift weights all day, but I have been meaning to get rid of this beer belly." He takes another sip of coke. "What do you suggest?" Sip… I wanted to grab him up and say, "ONE OF THOSE?! Look at my body from yours! Now, you think this comes easy?!! You think that comes naturally?!
Then I realize this just might cause a scene and could cost me several Christmas presents. (I was planning on returning any presents I got and using the money to buy some new CD's or soemthing, so I didn't want to jeopardize this gift getting opportunity.)
SO, Jay continued to sit there drinking his coca-cola, smoking a cigarette and waiting for an answer, oblivious to the fact that he'd come this close to seeing some serious gut blows. I tried to figure out how I could explain it to him… How could I get him to understand what it is people like us do, how we feel, how we live? So I took a deep breath and told him something like this:
"Well, Jay, I guess you could... I run, lift weights and manipulate my diet now and then so that I’ll look good naked. Sure, it's healthy too, and I’ll probably live alot longer and more productive life than the average guy, but mostly it's about the naked thing. Truthfully, it goes beyond even that.
…Let's be honest here. I now do it because of people like you, Jay. We look at you sitting there with your gut hanging over your belt and we watch you grunt and groan just getting out of a chair. Guys like you are my inspiration, Jay. You're better than all these Olympic instructors wrapped up into one. I love it when guys like you talk about not having time to exercise. Every time I see you munching on a bag of chips, you inspire me. You're my shot in the arm, Jay, my living and breathing wake-up call, my own personal success coach!
"You want to know what it is people like me do? We overcome. We're too busy to train, too, but we overcome. We're too busy to prepare healthy meals, but we overcome. We used to be just like you, Jay, but guess what? We've overcome.
"I watch 'normal' people like you tell us about how they can't get in shape. We smile and nod sympathetically like we feel your pain, but actually, we're thinking that you're a pathetic piece of **** that needs to grow a spine and join a gym. You smile sheepishly and say that you just can't stay motivated and just can't stand that feeling of being sore. (For some reason you think that admitting your weaknesses somehow justifies them.) We listen to you moan and moan. We watch you look for the easy way out. I never miss a workout. You ask us for advice about diet and training and usually we politely offer some guidance, but deep inside we know you won't take our advice. You know that too. We smile and say, 'Hope that helps. Good luck,' but actually we're thinking, 'Boy, it would suck to be you.' We know that 99% of people won't listen to us. Once they hear that it takes hard work, sacrifice and discipline, they stop listening and tune us out... We know they wanted us to say that running or staying fit is easy, but it just isn't. This did not take five minutes a day on a TorsoTrack. We did not get this way in 12 short weeks using Suzanne Somers.
We like it that while you're eating a candy bar and drinking coke, we're sucking down a bottle of water. You see, that makes it taste even better to us. While you're asleep we're either getting up early or staying up late, hitting the tracks, pushing ourselves, learning, succeeding and failing and rising above the norm with every rep. Can you feel that, Jay? Can you relate? No? Good. This wouldn't be half as fun if you could. I mean god! We do it because we absolutely and totally get off on it. We do it because people like you, Jay, either can't or won't. We do it because what we do in the gym transfers over into the rest of our lives and changes us, physically, mentally. We do it because it beats watching fishing and golf on TV. By the way, do you know what it's like to turn the head of a beautiful woman because of the way you look? It feels good, Jay. Damned good.
When we're in the gym, we're in this indescribable euphoria zone. It's a feeling of being on, of being completely alive and aware. If you haven't been there, then it's like trying to describe color to a person who's been blind since birth. Within this haze of pleasure and pain, there's knowledge and power, self-discipline and self-reliance. If you do it long enough, Jay, there's even enlightenment. Sometimes, the answers to questions you didn't even know you had are sitting there on those rubber mats, wrapped up in a neat package of iron plates and bars and a good pair of running shoes.
Want to lose that beer belly, Jay? I have a nutty idea. Put down the f****** coke. I'll tell you what, Jay. Tomorrow morning I'm getting up real early and hitting the dirt track and hills. Because its my sisters birthday and I want to watch her open the presents and spend the whole day with her, so this is the only time I have to train. The gym will be closed, so I'm going out in my garage to workout. You be at my house at six in the morning, okay? I'll be glad to help you get started on a training program. It'll be colder than Hillary Clinton's coochie in there, so dress warm... But let me tell you something, Jay. If you don't show up, don't bother asking me again. And don't you ever sit there and let me hear you talking about your beer belly again. This is your chance, your big opportunity to break out of that rut. If you don't show up, Jay, you've learned a very important lesson about yourself, haven't you? You won't like that lesson.
"You won't like that feeling in the pit of your stomach either or that taste in your mouth. It will taste worse than defeat, Jay. Defeat tastes pretty goddamned nasty I think, but what you'll be experiencing will be much worse. It will be the knowledge that you're weak, mentally and physically. What's worse is that you'll have accepted that feeling. The feeling will always be with you. In the happiest moments of your life, it'll be there, lying under the surface like a malignant tumor. Ignore it at your own peril, Jay.
"Don't look at me like that either you faggot. This just may be the best present you'll get this year. year, Jay, when I see you again, I'm going to be a little slimmer, a little more muscle and stronger, and a little leaner. What will you be? Will you still be making excuses? This is a gift, Jay, from me to you. I'm giving you the chance to look fate in those pretty eyes of hers and say, 'Step off, shorty. This is my party and you're not invited.' What do you say, Jay? Tuesday morning, 6am, my house. The ball's in your court.
Okay… so maybe that's not the exact words I used with Jay, but you get the picture. Will Jay show up tomorrow? I don't know, but I kind of doubt it. In fact, Jay will probably take me off his Christmas card list. He probably thinks I've got "too much Testosterone," like that's a bad thing. I think Jay is just stuck in a rut, and as the saying goes, the only difference between a rut and a grave is depth. The way out of the rut is to make major changes in your life, I started with my fitness and now going further with starting DJ Boot camp but most of which won't be too pleasant in the beginning. The opportunity to make those changes seldom comes as bluntly as I put it to Jay. Most of the time, that opportunity knocks very softly. What I did was basically give Jay, my old mans friend a verbal slap in the face. You can react two ways to a slap. You can get angry at the person doing the slapping, or you can realize that he was just trying to get you to wake up and focus on what you really want and, more importantly, what it'll take to get it.
If you're a regular runner, I doubt you need to be called out like Jay. But maybe you've caught yourself slacking a little here lately. Maybe you've missed a few workouts or maybe you started a little too early on the usual holiday feasting, like, say, back in September… Just remember that the time to start working on that summer body is now. The time to get rid of those bad habits that hold you back in the gym is now. You want to look totally different by next Christmas? Start now. This isn't because of the holidays or any corny New Year's resolutions either. The best time is always now. Christmas day I want you to enjoy being with your family and friends. I want you to open presents, sip a little eggnog and have a good meal. But if your regularly scheduled workout happens to fall on December 25th, what will you be doing at six o'clock that morning?
That's what separates us from them
Okay, so it all started - I’m sitting at home… "So, what you do when you’re not working?" Jay asked me. We're sitting on the couch at one of those tedious holiday get-togethers, you know, the ones where you're supposed to be nice to family members you never see except during major holidays and funerals. I never even knew this guy... I think Jay is my old mans friends wife’s brother-in-law's second cousin or something…
Now I wasn't going to start telling him about my seduction hobbie and the only other intrest I have is keeping fit "I go to the gym…" I say. Jay looks at me with a blank expression on his face, as if I'd just told him I sell handmade testicle warmers beside the motorway and was looking to open franchises across the nation. Blank expression. Deer caught in the headlights. Ronnie Coleman doing trigonometry… "Oh," Jay finally says, "I heard you were, like, one of those guys or something. So, what's that like, you know, working out every day and stuff? I just don't have time to run or lift weights all day, but I have been meaning to get rid of this beer belly." He takes another sip of coke. "What do you suggest?" Sip… I wanted to grab him up and say, "ONE OF THOSE?! Look at my body from yours! Now, you think this comes easy?!! You think that comes naturally?!
Then I realize this just might cause a scene and could cost me several Christmas presents. (I was planning on returning any presents I got and using the money to buy some new CD's or soemthing, so I didn't want to jeopardize this gift getting opportunity.)
SO, Jay continued to sit there drinking his coca-cola, smoking a cigarette and waiting for an answer, oblivious to the fact that he'd come this close to seeing some serious gut blows. I tried to figure out how I could explain it to him… How could I get him to understand what it is people like us do, how we feel, how we live? So I took a deep breath and told him something like this:
"Well, Jay, I guess you could... I run, lift weights and manipulate my diet now and then so that I’ll look good naked. Sure, it's healthy too, and I’ll probably live alot longer and more productive life than the average guy, but mostly it's about the naked thing. Truthfully, it goes beyond even that.
…Let's be honest here. I now do it because of people like you, Jay. We look at you sitting there with your gut hanging over your belt and we watch you grunt and groan just getting out of a chair. Guys like you are my inspiration, Jay. You're better than all these Olympic instructors wrapped up into one. I love it when guys like you talk about not having time to exercise. Every time I see you munching on a bag of chips, you inspire me. You're my shot in the arm, Jay, my living and breathing wake-up call, my own personal success coach!
"You want to know what it is people like me do? We overcome. We're too busy to train, too, but we overcome. We're too busy to prepare healthy meals, but we overcome. We used to be just like you, Jay, but guess what? We've overcome.
"I watch 'normal' people like you tell us about how they can't get in shape. We smile and nod sympathetically like we feel your pain, but actually, we're thinking that you're a pathetic piece of **** that needs to grow a spine and join a gym. You smile sheepishly and say that you just can't stay motivated and just can't stand that feeling of being sore. (For some reason you think that admitting your weaknesses somehow justifies them.) We listen to you moan and moan. We watch you look for the easy way out. I never miss a workout. You ask us for advice about diet and training and usually we politely offer some guidance, but deep inside we know you won't take our advice. You know that too. We smile and say, 'Hope that helps. Good luck,' but actually we're thinking, 'Boy, it would suck to be you.' We know that 99% of people won't listen to us. Once they hear that it takes hard work, sacrifice and discipline, they stop listening and tune us out... We know they wanted us to say that running or staying fit is easy, but it just isn't. This did not take five minutes a day on a TorsoTrack. We did not get this way in 12 short weeks using Suzanne Somers.
We like it that while you're eating a candy bar and drinking coke, we're sucking down a bottle of water. You see, that makes it taste even better to us. While you're asleep we're either getting up early or staying up late, hitting the tracks, pushing ourselves, learning, succeeding and failing and rising above the norm with every rep. Can you feel that, Jay? Can you relate? No? Good. This wouldn't be half as fun if you could. I mean god! We do it because we absolutely and totally get off on it. We do it because people like you, Jay, either can't or won't. We do it because what we do in the gym transfers over into the rest of our lives and changes us, physically, mentally. We do it because it beats watching fishing and golf on TV. By the way, do you know what it's like to turn the head of a beautiful woman because of the way you look? It feels good, Jay. Damned good.
When we're in the gym, we're in this indescribable euphoria zone. It's a feeling of being on, of being completely alive and aware. If you haven't been there, then it's like trying to describe color to a person who's been blind since birth. Within this haze of pleasure and pain, there's knowledge and power, self-discipline and self-reliance. If you do it long enough, Jay, there's even enlightenment. Sometimes, the answers to questions you didn't even know you had are sitting there on those rubber mats, wrapped up in a neat package of iron plates and bars and a good pair of running shoes.
Want to lose that beer belly, Jay? I have a nutty idea. Put down the f****** coke. I'll tell you what, Jay. Tomorrow morning I'm getting up real early and hitting the dirt track and hills. Because its my sisters birthday and I want to watch her open the presents and spend the whole day with her, so this is the only time I have to train. The gym will be closed, so I'm going out in my garage to workout. You be at my house at six in the morning, okay? I'll be glad to help you get started on a training program. It'll be colder than Hillary Clinton's coochie in there, so dress warm... But let me tell you something, Jay. If you don't show up, don't bother asking me again. And don't you ever sit there and let me hear you talking about your beer belly again. This is your chance, your big opportunity to break out of that rut. If you don't show up, Jay, you've learned a very important lesson about yourself, haven't you? You won't like that lesson.
"You won't like that feeling in the pit of your stomach either or that taste in your mouth. It will taste worse than defeat, Jay. Defeat tastes pretty goddamned nasty I think, but what you'll be experiencing will be much worse. It will be the knowledge that you're weak, mentally and physically. What's worse is that you'll have accepted that feeling. The feeling will always be with you. In the happiest moments of your life, it'll be there, lying under the surface like a malignant tumor. Ignore it at your own peril, Jay.
"Don't look at me like that either you faggot. This just may be the best present you'll get this year. year, Jay, when I see you again, I'm going to be a little slimmer, a little more muscle and stronger, and a little leaner. What will you be? Will you still be making excuses? This is a gift, Jay, from me to you. I'm giving you the chance to look fate in those pretty eyes of hers and say, 'Step off, shorty. This is my party and you're not invited.' What do you say, Jay? Tuesday morning, 6am, my house. The ball's in your court.
Okay… so maybe that's not the exact words I used with Jay, but you get the picture. Will Jay show up tomorrow? I don't know, but I kind of doubt it. In fact, Jay will probably take me off his Christmas card list. He probably thinks I've got "too much Testosterone," like that's a bad thing. I think Jay is just stuck in a rut, and as the saying goes, the only difference between a rut and a grave is depth. The way out of the rut is to make major changes in your life, I started with my fitness and now going further with starting DJ Boot camp but most of which won't be too pleasant in the beginning. The opportunity to make those changes seldom comes as bluntly as I put it to Jay. Most of the time, that opportunity knocks very softly. What I did was basically give Jay, my old mans friend a verbal slap in the face. You can react two ways to a slap. You can get angry at the person doing the slapping, or you can realize that he was just trying to get you to wake up and focus on what you really want and, more importantly, what it'll take to get it.
If you're a regular runner, I doubt you need to be called out like Jay. But maybe you've caught yourself slacking a little here lately. Maybe you've missed a few workouts or maybe you started a little too early on the usual holiday feasting, like, say, back in September… Just remember that the time to start working on that summer body is now. The time to get rid of those bad habits that hold you back in the gym is now. You want to look totally different by next Christmas? Start now. This isn't because of the holidays or any corny New Year's resolutions either. The best time is always now. Christmas day I want you to enjoy being with your family and friends. I want you to open presents, sip a little eggnog and have a good meal. But if your regularly scheduled workout happens to fall on December 25th, what will you be doing at six o'clock that morning?
That's what separates us from them
