What is she doing?

[EverSure75]

Good day, gentlemen..

I went out for drinks with a woman (35 years old) a few weeks ago. It was cool. We had been out in a group a month or two prior. At that gathering we were flirting big time. Sh was ttelling me that if she was alone with me again she would jump me.

Back story : we dated briefly about 2 years ago. It was in the middle of my custody battle so I was pretty unavailable emotionally. We hung out at her place a d ended up naked fooling around. I had condoms with me but didn't go all the way. We sdid everything except have intercourse. I was in full beta mode and didn't want tto go all the way for fear of getting her too attached. Yes. Stupid, I know.

Fast forward to this . I invite her to my place via text to listen to some new records I got (she's a big mmusic listener). She said sure. About an hour ago she texts me asking if she can have a quick conversation.
She basically said she doesn't want to come to my place because she "has a high sex drive and thinks she would jump me". I say ok. Cool whatever makes you comfortable but I'm letting you know Iddon't mind being jumped.
She laughs and says she would rather date and have companionship and then if things progress we could hang out at my pplace. She then says.. "I like hanging out with my friend, eversure75.. But I don't want to jump have just yet"

So I say.. Ok.. Let's go driving around town aimlessly listening to these new records then.
She says " ok great.. And we can park up somewhere...hmmm..will I jump you? I'm a big girl I can control myself"

I say ok cool tomorrow it is.
I'm really just interested in ****ing her. No interest in long term stuff or friendship.

 

[jurry]

Shes trying to lay plausible deniability for herself for having sex with you so that she doesnt feel like a slvt- put up the "I want to date and have companionship" faux resistance spiel first and have you agree to it to make her feel better about riding your côck later.

This is a meatball down the center of the plate, hit it out of the park.

 

[G_Govan]

I think Jurry has right because it sounds like you don't really want her for much more than a lay.

She picked up on this and is trying to protect the ego by pushing you to make a move.

 

[EverSure75]

Interesting take. We'll see.

 

[EFFORT]

The other posters nailed it, this sounds like a layup.

1. I recommend just meeting up at a relaxing bar close to your place with a 90min time constraint, tell her you have an early morning and that you can't stay out long. Set an alarm on your phone to make sure you leave on time. Have a fun time, joke, flirt, touch have a good time. Save the records for #2

Seems counter intuitive but this approach has a lot of benefits. First it'll put her guard down since its pretty much set that nothing is going to happen because you have to leave early. Second, she'll get the "date" she needs to have with you to justify sleeping with you out of the way. Third, you get the date she needs to have with you to justify sleeping with you out of the way in a quick fun way (90min, bar, close to house). Fourth she might directly home with you to "listen to the records" that night (but don't ask her or have that intention).


2. Invite her over again to listen to the records a few days later and seal the deal, this time the date takes place at your house. Very small chance she won't agree this time (post here if she wont agree and I'll tell you what to do)

 

[Fireballs]

Shes trying to lay plausible deniability for herself for having sex with you so that she doesnt feel like a slvt- put up the "I want to date and have companionship" faux resistance spiel first and have you agree to it to make her feel better about riding your côck later.

This is a meatball down the center of the plate, hit it out of the park.

^ This.

Rationalization hamster in full effect.

 

[RangerMIke]

When a woman says anything like "We aren't having sex".... well.... it means you are having sex, unless you as a man FAIL to make it happen.

You just have to seduce her... this is going to be easy for you unless you go full on Beta like the first time you two ended up naked.

 

[old married dude]

When a woman says anything like "We aren't having sex".... well.... it means you are having sex, unless you as a man FAIL to make it happen.

You just have to seduce her... this is going to be easy for you unless you go full on Beta like the first time you two ended up naked.

So true.

Sometimes you don't even have to really do much to make it happen.

First time this happened to me, girl said "Let's get this straight, we're just hanging out as friends, no sex!" We went to watch a movie on my couch & within 5 minutes we were making out. The making out got her so hot that she put her hand down my pants and started stroking me & then said "I want it in me!" So I took her to my room and that was that lol.

Chicks are weird sometimes lol

 

[EverSure75]

You guys were right. amazing.
The old me would have just brushed her off as not interested.

So we went on the driving 'date' (didn't take your advice Effort... In retrospect I should have)
We drove to the outskirts of town and she suggested we Park up.
On parking, she takes off her shoes and places them on my lap. Rubbing them against my crotch in rhythm with the music playing.

She askedme if im ddating anyone.
I asked her what does she mean by dating.
She says.. "it can mean different things to different people... Are you having sex with someone, are you seeing someone?"

I say.. No I'm not having sex with anyone now. That's the truth. I do have other women I talk to rregularly. One suggested we go on a date next week too.
I said nothing after the no sex bit. She then said.. "I'm just making sure no other woman would come out the bushes and attack me"
I say nope... Not that I'm aware of. She laughed and said.. "yeah we women do that sometimes. We think something is more serious than it is"

A few minutes later I lean over and start kissing her. Her hands are all over me. She straddles me on the front seat.

After a while I say.. "we really should be getting back".

She says her underwear is soaked right now. I say.. Good.

On our way back to her place she reaches over and starts holding my hand. I dunno. That felt awkward to me but I kept it up.

Got back to her place. As I'm parking she says. "for future reference that's where visitors Park. II say... Duly noted. We kiss again and I say goodnight.

She textsme this mmorning suggesting we go listen to some jazz band next week. I say cool. Sound good.

So my questions gentlemen... How and when do I let her know she really isn't the only woman I'm seeing. And am I overreacting to be freaking about her holding my hand while drivin. That juts seems very "wwe're a couple" to me.

 

[EFFORT]

You have a variety of routes to take when/if a woman pops the are you dating other women question. You can be aloof, use cf, lie, etc. I have a specific "system" for my woman life that make things simple for me so I reply with one of the following

1. Yeah, but don't worry I'll still be able to fit you in
2. Yeah, but don't worry I'll still have time for you and your friends (I like having threesomes so I use this as an easy segway into the topic)


As it currently stands

1. Sleep with her asap if you haven't already (sounded like you took her home from the car ride, no lay?) When you sleep with her make sure she has orgasms.

2. Only see her one time per week (sleep overs are fine just be done by 11am the next day) and keep texting/phone calls to a minimum. As a general rule of thumb and to simplify your life don't call/text women until after 4pm. You're busy and not a phone/text type of Man in her eyes. This will give you space to operate. If you keep this setup she'll get the hint that this isn't going to be a bf/gf type of thing.

3. When you see her weekly make sure to have incredible sex with her she should be having orgasms every time. Enjoy her company when you see her too, it should be a fun time.

4. Your objective is to "cruise" like this for as long as you can. When she starts questioning you, demanding monogamy or needing answers about other women in a serious way then tell her you care about her, but you can't give her those things, it's not who you are. Leave it at that, don't explain yourself, compromise, wrestle with it, debate etc. she'll be sad/mad and that's ok. Give her space to think it over away from you. She might be done with it but more than likely she's become accustomed to those weekly orgasms you've been giving her and she'll be back and it's smooth "cruising" from there.

5. It's important that you're sleeping with another woman in addition to regularly prospecting. This will fall apart fast if she's your only source for sex.