What is considered to be sexually experienced?

[39year_old_virgin]

I am obviously not, being about to turn 40 and nothing, but I was reading George Sodini's blog and he was complaining about "only" having done it 50-75 times in his life, which I suppose for a 48 year old isn't all that much either. What is considered to be enough to be sexually experienced vs sexually inexperienced? How many times does a man have to have sex before he knows what he is doing and is considered sexually experienced? Would going with a prostitute a number of times before doing the real thing make an older virgin gain the sexual experience he doesn't have? How many times have most 40 year olds had sex?

 

[FireOnTheMountain]

Well, I am about 15 years younger than you, but feel the same way.

I am nervous that a girl will laugh at me because I don't know what I"m doing, or she will decide that I'm a waste of her time.



As for your original question, well, even at my age, it seems like most of my peers are getting married or are in live in/long term relationships. So just as a matter of proximity, I am sure they are having sex quite often. They say that the flame doesn't burn as hot later in life, so of course it slows down, but still...

I would estimate that the average 40 year old man has had sex a couple thousand times. Of course, I don't mean with 1000 different women. Just his wife or long term girlfriend many times over.

 

[synergy1]

Most people by 20, let alone 30 and 40 have likely lost track how many times they had sex. at 40, you should be focusing on not what constitutes experience, but what you have done wrong to be 40 years old and still without any women in your life.

Virgins always seem to focus on the wrong things.

 

[Maxtro]

A little bit of math.

Say somebody loses his virginity at 20. Then he only has sex twice a month till he is 40 years old. That means he has sex 24 times in one year. 20 years later when he is 40 years old he would have had sex 480 times. Most men have sex much more frequently than twice a month.

Looking it at that way, George Sodini's numbers are very low. He averages out to 2 to 3 times a year.

I'd say a guy won't really know what he's doing till he's done it about 4-5 times. Like many things in life, sex is easy to learn, difficult to master.

 

[Mike32ct]

A little bit of math.

Say somebody loses his virginity at 20. Then he only has sex twice a month till he is 40 years old. That means he has sex 24 times in one year. 20 years later when he is 40 years old he would have had sex 480 times. Most men have sex much more frequently than twice a month.

Looking it at that way, George Sodini's numbers are very low. He averages out to 2 to 3 times a year.

I'd say a guy won't really know what he's doing till he's done it about 4-5 times. Like many things in life, sex is easy to learn, difficult to master.

I agree. After 4 or 5 times, you'll feel comfortable with sex, but won't be a master.

 

[robinincarolina]

An experienced woman can teach an inexperienced man a lot. To be experienced is not really about your skill but how you can make a woman feel. You guys forget that sex for the most part starts in a woman's mind. If you can put her at ease there, the rest will follow. You can last for hours, but if its not right in her mind, it does no good. Sometimes I think you all forget that women are nothing like men which is why you like us I assume.

 

[Tictac]

An experienced woman can teach an inexperienced man a lot. To be experienced is not really about your skill but how you can make a woman feel. You guys forget that sex for the most part starts in a woman's mind. If you can put her at ease there, the rest will follow. You can last for hours, but if its not right in her mind, it does no good. Sometimes I think you all forget that women are nothing like men which is why you like us I assume.

Listen to Robin. Somewhere else on this forum, someone said, 'women want to de desirable and to be desired'. Simple. True. How you make a woman feel is the most important.

You can read up on sex techniques (David Shade has taught me things), have sex with lots of partners and still be bad in the sack.

That is beside the point. Techniques and headcount won't be near enough to be 'experienced'.

Tictac

 

[jonwon]

Most women and men included, believe the average sexual partners of others is around 4 for men and 2 for women.

I make no joke.

This is the average man in the street, not your DJ, playa or PUA, who know the true score.

But the Average man, is said to have around 4-5 partners his whole life-

The average women to have less.

So in that, when or if you meet a women she is probably more prone to hold you to that societal standard.

Hence even if you have banged x amount of girls, I usually find it beneficial to never disclose the number and play down your lay record, i.e. say you've only had 3-4 girls - That is what is considered 'normal' - Believe it or not.

Don’t believe me?

Ask the nearest normal guy and girl -

Anything over 8 on either party is considered high from the minds of an average guy or girl.

I personnally wont date a girl who has slept with more then around 6 - I will sleep with girls with a highish number but I would never date them!

So worrying about your preformance in bed, is probably what she is worrying about too, unless its a party girl.

The average guy goes years without sex - sometimes 6 years or more - they sometimes stave off these dry spells by having any type of women in there lives - hence just because the average guy is getting sex, in more cases then not - that sex is with someone they dont really desire and who where just available.

People seem to think others live in a Hollywood movie land, but the truth is, most average people have settled for the sake of settling - only a rare few actually strive for what they believe they can achieve - most guys settle for the first bit of skirt that gives them attention.

Hence the amount of sex is irrelivent - Any guy virgin or not can get sex easy, they just need to lower there personal bar.

But saying that why should you?

Just dont compare yourself to people you have no idea about in terms of the bigger picture.

You can only move forward and upwards, keep your eye on the goal and shoot straight -

This thread is almost like the one where a guy was lamenting about his 6 year dry spell.

who cares?

No one but him, its his choice to change - external sources are good to cushion the blow, but people can and do use them for excuses to stive off change.

It does not matter how much sex you have had, all it matters is what your going to do about it the future to 'change' - dont seek comfort in the sharing of pain with others - thats finding a cushion for the blow and wallowing in your own personal comfort zone.

Placing barriers up around your sexual preformance is in parts an AFC tendancy to find 'an out' in trying to get it on with girls - Stop thinking about excuses - thats the bottom line problem right there.

 

[Tictac]

Great Stuff!

Most women and men included, believe the average sexual partners of others is around 4 for men and 2 for women.

I make no joke.

This is the average man in the street, not your DJ, playa or PUA, who know the true score.

But the Average man, is said to have around 4-5 partners his whole life-

The average women to have less.

So in that, when or if you meet a women she is probably more prone to hold you to that societal standard.

Hence even if you have banged x amount of girls, I usually find it beneficial to never disclose the number and play down your lay record, i.e. say you've only had 3-4 girls - That is what is considered 'normal' - Believe it or not.

Don’t believe me?

Ask the nearest normal guy and girl -

Anything over 8 on either party is considered high from the minds of an average guy or girl.

I personnally wont date a girl who has slept with more then around 6 - I will sleep with girls with a highish number but I would never date them!

So worrying about your preformance in bed, is probably what she is worrying about too, unless its a party girl.

The average guy goes years without sex - sometimes 6 years or more - they sometimes stave off these dry spells by having any type of women in there lives - hence just because the average guy is getting sex, in more cases then not - that sex is with someone they dont really desire and who where just available.

People seem to think others live in a Hollywood movie land, but the truth is, most average people have settled for the sake of settling - only a rare few actually strive for what they believe they can achieve - most guys settle for the first bit of skirt that gives them attention.

Hence the amount of sex is irrelivent - Any guy virgin or not can get sex easy, they just need to lower there personal bar.

But saying that why should you?

Just dont compare yourself to people you have no idea about in terms of the bigger picture.

You can only move forward and upwards, keep your eye on the goal and shoot straight -

This thread is almost like the one where a guy was lamenting about his 6 year dry spell.

who cares?

No one but him, its his choice to change - external sources are good to cushion the blow, but people can and do use them for excuses to stive off change.

It does not matter how much sex you have had, all it matters is what your going to do about it the future to 'change' - dont seek comfort in the sharing of pain with others - thats finding a cushion for the blow and wallowing in your own personal comfort zone.

Placing barriers up around your sexual preformance is in parts an AFC tendancy to find 'an out' in trying to get it on with girls - Stop thinking about excuses - thats the bottom line problem right there.

Listen up 'Virg'. This is great advice and perspective.

Tictac

 

[robinincarolina]

So if that average man has only 4-5 partners his whole life then how do you explain a freind of mines 16 year old son who has alread had over 6 partners. Everything else you said yes, but that is a very unrealistic number, unless of course you are married.

 

[Colossus]

An experienced woman can teach an inexperienced man a lot. To be experienced is not really about your skill but how you can make a woman feel. You guys forget that sex for the most part starts in a woman's mind. If you can put her at ease there, the rest will follow. You can last for hours, but if its not right in her mind, it does no good. Sometimes I think you all forget that women are nothing like men which is why you like us I assume.

Ive learned that a woman's sexual satisfaction has less to do with a man's performance and more to do with her own mental state towards him and the moment.

If a woman really likes me, I dont even have to work that hard to please her sexually. In fact sometimes I can be downright lazy. Conversely, if she is feeling uncomfortable about things or unsure about my feelings towards her, I could bang my heart out all night long and not get her off.

Skill DOES play a role, but less of a role than most guys think. Same with d1ck size. Now if you can meld skill with her strong feelings towards you, then you've got the ingredients for some of the best sex she's ever had.

 

[Colossus]

The average guy goes years without sex - sometimes 6 years or more - they sometimes stave off these dry spells by having any type of women in there lives - hence just because the average guy is getting sex, in more cases then not - that sex is with someone they dont really desire and who where just available.

People seem to think others live in a Hollywood movie land, but the truth is, most average people have settled for the sake of settling - only a rare few actually strive for what they believe they can achieve - most guys settle for the first bit of skirt that gives them attention.

Getting regular sex is like having a job---you cant just do nothing and expect jobs to fall in your lap. Similarly, if you have a job, you cant just be passive about it and expect to keep it.

That's why many 'average' men go years without sex. They wait for it to come to them. Then they become desperate, and by necessity they take the first girl who will spread her legs for them.

Sex may come to women, but not to men. I'm a good-looking guy, but if I just sat around and put fourth no effort into meeting girls or getting laid, I would never get laid.