JohnnyLegard
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2004
- Messages
- 32
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 42
My sister and I have not always been the closest, especially since we live across the country. However, since she was about to get married a while back, she was determined to get to know me more and we had a heart to heart talk for one of the first times in many years. In it she gave me love advice that actually gave me a lot of new perspective on things that has greatly helped me in my current relationship as well as spotting all the problems of my past relationships and screw-ups. After following her advice, I am now at a point where I couldn't be happier with both my love social life. I thought I would finally return to this site to share this information with all you (I never posted, but I read some of the articles), hope it helps.
ON RELATIONSHIPS
Essentially what she told me was this. Attraction to any person is a matter of stroking another person's ego. In the case of women, all women, especially the ones who say it is not true, want a fairytell romance. In other words, everyone wants to be loved.
In terms of relationships, it's a matter of making a woman feel special. All people, especially ALL WOMEN, are insecure to a degree. Everyone wants to be loved, and everyone feels like they are lacking it to a degree. Think this is not true? Well then why are YOU at this site, reading this? Because you feel that very way.
Well, as surprising as it may be, the way you feel isn't really that unique to what everyone else feels. It's not a matter of stalking a woman or annoying them, but making them feel like the world revolves around them when you're with them. Contrary to what is the common belief on this forum you should be a nice guy from time to time to a woman when you are spending time with her.
Ever feel really good when someone who you wouldn't think would, suddenly makes you feel like there is no one else in the world but you? Well that's what you gotta do to her. Open the door for her, smile, look at her in the eyes and tell her how beautiful you think she is, stroke her hair, go out of your way to do something nice for her. That's not to say that you should annoy her, but just as you would like her to do those things to you, you should do them to her.
The reason why going way over the top with it puts people off is because when a guy does this it doesn't make them feel special, but rather gives off the impression that he has nothing better to do. When you see a guy hitting on every girl, failing miserably, they fail because they give off the impression to the girl they are going after that they will go for anyone and that they are not special.
ON MEETING WOMEN
There was something that has always been a topic of conversation amongst my friends and I that my sister finally clarified. It's when you're in a social situation and a gorgeous girl will go nuts for you, but an average one won't even give you the time of day.
Well you have to think about it this way. Have you ever seen a girl and at first glance thought that they would never waste their time to talk to you so you didn't even bother trying? Well that's just that. A lot of people are under the traditional mode of thinking that guys are the pursuers. So for some women, their way hitting on someone is by trying to lure someone. If they don't think they have a chance with you, then maybe they don't want to waste their time.
What this means is that just because someone seems like they don't like you, it doesn't mean that it's true. Try staring at someone you're interesting in approaching until they look at you. To state the obvious on this website, eye contact is extremely powerful, so keep doing it (smile while doing it) and study how they respond. That should give you the REAL ANSWER as to whether you should approach them or not.
ON CONFIDENCE
It comes down to this... Be yourself. Nothing annoys me about this site more than that damn post on the main page about how you shouldn't be yourself. Maybe you shouldn't be lazy and anti-social, but you shouldn't deny yourself. Being yourself has everything to do with confidence, and confidence is what this whole site dedicates itself to teaching us. If you're not yourself, then you're only going to be an insecure, pathetic loser who is chasing some fantasy world. Be yourself and be yourself with pride; don't make any excuses. For example, I'm not afraid to tell people that I have a lot of gay guy friends or that I play Magic Cards with a my Magic Card friends when I have nothing to do. If I'm strapped for cash I'll tell my friends that I can't go out to bars that weekend. In fact, I brag about it and if anyone thinks less of me about those things, then I couldn't care less, especially if it's a girl.
By being yourself, you demand people to respect you for who you are, and more often then not, the people who you think would judge you often do similar things. We're all humans, we all eat, sh*t, drink, and piss, and we all more or less think similarly, we just find different ways to hide it. By being yourself, you realize that many people are just like you.
Everyone is under this grand illusion that they have to project themselves as the trendy characters from TV shows and movies. But being someone that works in the film and television industry, it's all BS. The actors who you think are too cool for school are really down to earth people, just like you or me, when the camera isn't on them. The characters put on screen, especially for comedy are specifically written to be characters that have serious flaws. I guarantee you that if you met a real Seinfeld character or even a Tyler Durden from Fight Club, you wouldn't really want to be friends with them in real life, you would just think they were *******s.
So just remember, you're an amazing person, don't let anyone tell you likewise.
ON RELATIONSHIPS
Essentially what she told me was this. Attraction to any person is a matter of stroking another person's ego. In the case of women, all women, especially the ones who say it is not true, want a fairytell romance. In other words, everyone wants to be loved.
In terms of relationships, it's a matter of making a woman feel special. All people, especially ALL WOMEN, are insecure to a degree. Everyone wants to be loved, and everyone feels like they are lacking it to a degree. Think this is not true? Well then why are YOU at this site, reading this? Because you feel that very way.
Well, as surprising as it may be, the way you feel isn't really that unique to what everyone else feels. It's not a matter of stalking a woman or annoying them, but making them feel like the world revolves around them when you're with them. Contrary to what is the common belief on this forum you should be a nice guy from time to time to a woman when you are spending time with her.
Ever feel really good when someone who you wouldn't think would, suddenly makes you feel like there is no one else in the world but you? Well that's what you gotta do to her. Open the door for her, smile, look at her in the eyes and tell her how beautiful you think she is, stroke her hair, go out of your way to do something nice for her. That's not to say that you should annoy her, but just as you would like her to do those things to you, you should do them to her.
The reason why going way over the top with it puts people off is because when a guy does this it doesn't make them feel special, but rather gives off the impression that he has nothing better to do. When you see a guy hitting on every girl, failing miserably, they fail because they give off the impression to the girl they are going after that they will go for anyone and that they are not special.
ON MEETING WOMEN
There was something that has always been a topic of conversation amongst my friends and I that my sister finally clarified. It's when you're in a social situation and a gorgeous girl will go nuts for you, but an average one won't even give you the time of day.
Well you have to think about it this way. Have you ever seen a girl and at first glance thought that they would never waste their time to talk to you so you didn't even bother trying? Well that's just that. A lot of people are under the traditional mode of thinking that guys are the pursuers. So for some women, their way hitting on someone is by trying to lure someone. If they don't think they have a chance with you, then maybe they don't want to waste their time.
What this means is that just because someone seems like they don't like you, it doesn't mean that it's true. Try staring at someone you're interesting in approaching until they look at you. To state the obvious on this website, eye contact is extremely powerful, so keep doing it (smile while doing it) and study how they respond. That should give you the REAL ANSWER as to whether you should approach them or not.
ON CONFIDENCE
It comes down to this... Be yourself. Nothing annoys me about this site more than that damn post on the main page about how you shouldn't be yourself. Maybe you shouldn't be lazy and anti-social, but you shouldn't deny yourself. Being yourself has everything to do with confidence, and confidence is what this whole site dedicates itself to teaching us. If you're not yourself, then you're only going to be an insecure, pathetic loser who is chasing some fantasy world. Be yourself and be yourself with pride; don't make any excuses. For example, I'm not afraid to tell people that I have a lot of gay guy friends or that I play Magic Cards with a my Magic Card friends when I have nothing to do. If I'm strapped for cash I'll tell my friends that I can't go out to bars that weekend. In fact, I brag about it and if anyone thinks less of me about those things, then I couldn't care less, especially if it's a girl.
By being yourself, you demand people to respect you for who you are, and more often then not, the people who you think would judge you often do similar things. We're all humans, we all eat, sh*t, drink, and piss, and we all more or less think similarly, we just find different ways to hide it. By being yourself, you realize that many people are just like you.
Everyone is under this grand illusion that they have to project themselves as the trendy characters from TV shows and movies. But being someone that works in the film and television industry, it's all BS. The actors who you think are too cool for school are really down to earth people, just like you or me, when the camera isn't on them. The characters put on screen, especially for comedy are specifically written to be characters that have serious flaws. I guarantee you that if you met a real Seinfeld character or even a Tyler Durden from Fight Club, you wouldn't really want to be friends with them in real life, you would just think they were *******s.
So just remember, you're an amazing person, don't let anyone tell you likewise.
