What I just went through...

abe0

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I think the thing I would have done differently is that the first time she said the "F" word I would have stayed and acted calmly. Then kiss her on the cheeks before leaving as if was the last time....and never called her back or explain anything at all. They do not deserve any explaination...your actions will speak for itself. Let her figure it out and let her find another chump. Abe
 

Zunder

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backbreaker said:
you know, if i have learned one thing in life at the age of 30. if you said backbreaker, in all your infinite wisdom, tell us the one thing that will make our lives better, lead us to the promise land backbreaker!

I would say this one thing; your friends, associates, counselors, do not know what the **** they are talking about and they aren't living your life.


I beat my head up against the wall for years in various things, trying to humble myself and take advice from people who had no comprehension of my life. I ran off a few girls becuase everyone told me that for me to stay clean I have to open up and talk about things that are bothering me. Then when the girls would go talk to other dudes, they would say "well tough luck dude" lol screw you lol.


your friends, do not know what the **** they are talking about. I barely listen to my wife lol. If your friends tell you to invest in Apple, buy Microsoft. If your friends tell you that a Ps4 is hot go get a xbox one. If your friends tell you tell you to invest your money go spend it. If your friends tell you to get married early, don't get married. Your friends have no ****ing clue what they are talking about.
Bloody hell. I find myself nodding my head with BB - and that is near a first.

Actually, the whole subject of friends and their worth, especially your so called 'bestest friendest friend/s in the whole widest worldest' is worthy of a thread of its own - because let me drop this one on you: The whole concept of best friend, best buddy/ies between (straight) guys, is as much a bunch of bvllshyt as the whole male / female "soul mate" crap. There is already probably an old thread or two on it in the archives, which I can't be arsed looking up.
 

jonhaul

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What don't get out of all this is why she hates me now because I didn't want friendship? Is it worth trying to understand? Nope. If she didn't like me why she pissed? Well whatever...
 

jonhaul

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Oh man you guys are gonna hate me but she and I are talking again but we are keeping our distance from each other shes interested in someone right now anyway but isn't sure about how they feel about her on their end lol.... (she also rejected two other dudes in the process) However we are not friends nor romantic interest. I hit her up asking how she was doing was all if she had any luck. Then we talked about what happed between us she left early on but just pushed me away because she didn't feel the whole urge thing or whatever is she cannot describe. It was on HER end she described it as she felt she was using me or something. (she repeated how I wasn't the only one she pushed away) I didn't dig further or pry from her more on that. She was telling me this before too how something wasn't right on how she felt, but yeah i'm not getting my hopes up over here again she really don't deserve me. I mean if I were the right man she would have never done what she did to me. NO MY FRIENDS DID NOT CONVINCE ME TO DO THIS. It was my doing this time and for what? Closure? It don't matter but this one did strike a cord with me. Just something (her odd weirdness) about her that I haven't gave up on with my walking away ****. Lol She still don't understand me at all why I do what I do. Even after I sent her that message explaining things... She never deserved that even. Im not gonna go back to texting her on the cell shes just going to be way way way way on the back burner like she was trying to do to me with her gay emasculated friendship crap SHE knows I never wanted that crap. The other prospects are worthy of my time!

For some reason this gal unblocked all the guys shes blocked lately including me on POF.

Looking forward to my date this afternoon with the new gal (resume chick) who never dissed me or made a pass on me. She deserves my attention, efforts, time, and a tad bit of money. I dunno if I will feel that connection or attraction with her. That's the whole point of a date to see if that spark is there anyway. I don't make moves on gal unless I feel something and want to show my romantic interest in a woman. I don't go for the kiss close or anything unless theres something I think is going on with my feelings. Its hard for me to find gals I want and really dig...

I know I should just be a total careless man ho but yeah.
 
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jonhaul

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ummm yeah... shes going through crap right now lost her job. Ruining her friendships with dudes... (fools for getting involved with that) yeah I am not gonna be her shoulder to cry on and be that white night wuss bag for her either. She has some orbiters somewhere for sure... She creates her own drama and problems its best I stay away and heed her advice for my own good. Karma? I sent her prayers but im still not HER PAL/Friend. I am just glad im outside the whole ordeal... oh well DATE TIME!
 

dasein

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So you have weepy, angsty one-itis for a bratty BBW woman, and are rationalizing it every whichway all over this thread. You have got to start doing some things differently. Just look at all the time and worry you have spent typing and thinking about this one low quality woman who is still almost a total stranger.

1. OLD, as others say pay sites are better. Contact as many women as it takes to get 3-4 dates. Go out with all of them. See what sticks if anything. If something does, keep dating others. You are still dealing with unknown quantities, almost total strangers. Don't assume they are all quality just because you would f them, most of them aren't. Get out that gold mining pan and sift that sand out. You are a miner with a long term plan, not a sucker who latches onto the first fool's gold nugget he finds.

2. One falls out or flakes? You have to put another one in, right there, right then. Keep 3-4 in your pan/bucket at all times. When one drops out, find another, be robotic and consistent in this. It is key to preventing what has happened to you. Don't just do OLD, start finding places to meet women in other ways, OLD is just one tool, not the whole belt. Get involved in local charities, animal shelters, conservation, whatever you like, go to their fundraising events, meet women. Separate your party time from woman meeting and number getting time. Don't go out looking for women, then get discouraged and drunk. Go out with a plan to work several familiar places, stay sober, go home early. Rinse repeat.

3. Keep your dating binary. Keep asking them out as long as both are true: a) they are enthusiastically accepting your date invitations; b) they are enthusiastically accepting your escalating physical advances. If you take nothing else from this post, take the following, everything else, and I mean EVERYTHING is noise. What they say, who they say they are with, interested in, all of it... noise to be discounted. Keep your dating binary, keep yourself sane. Once a or b cease to be true, give one more invitation then move on instantly and get another prospect in that bucket.

4. Keep contact to a bare minimum early on. Call and ask out, keep all your talk for dates. No texts, phone, IM, nada, other than to ask out early on. Keep things light and flirty in person, never deep, heavy. No movie dates, sitting across a table, do active things, sit next to each other at the bar. Don't be like a dog trying to get invited over to sit on their couch and lap at their toes. Have a fun date plan; make the move for sex at the end in a matter of fact way, "hey want to head to my place?" Do that two=three times and if they aren't at least getting really physical with you by that time, even if not quite sex yet, then out for good and find another option for the bucket. Use any angst or worried rejection time and feelings to fuel your desire to get the bucket back full, to get back to your gold mining plan, not to sit around and ponder why one particular one blew you off.

5. Women can smell a man with options, a man of plenty. Have options or be the prey of every privileged bratty BBW you meet, choice is yours. Follow my instructions and in time, you won't ever be dating such low quality crabs any more, not even once.

Don't take the above harshly, but bluntly. I didn't have anyone to help me way way back when I was making the mistakes you are making, and wish someone had given me the straight dope without any sugarcoating. Good luck.
 

jonhaul

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appreciate it... just went out on a date it went well im not sure about the kiss on my end all it was just a quick peck to the lips lol... It was fun though.

Im such an idiot for going back... just gotta leave that one alone because she sure not worth it and gosh now im seeing her true colors. I wasnt thinking huge mistake. Im not gonna get her back its not gonna happen its over. Im so pathetic....
 
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