What i had to do to fix frame

[anon56]

Keeping it short, i gave my ex another try.

Everything was good, more submissive, better treatment overall. Boundaries reset, and everything under my terms now. However sexlife sucked... and she wasn't even trying in putting out. It couldnt be fixed verbally, only 2 options were to cheat, or end the relationship again.

So.. i had to cheat on her with her best friend, and i apologized for it, told her it meant nothing... and now shes sucking me dry to keep me and im getting the sex of my life every week. Figured she found out what she was messing up on.

Any of you bros have resorted to this? It actually meant nothing, just was using it for a scare.

 

[sazc]

TLDR; cheat to fix frame

 

[glass half full]

Keeping it short, i gave my ex another try.

Everything was good, more submissive, better treatment overall. Boundaries reset, and everything under my terms now. However sexlife sucked... and she wasn't even trying in putting out. It couldnt be fixed verbally, only 2 options were to cheat, or end the relationship again.

So.. i had to cheat on her with her best friend, and i apologized for it, told her it meant nothing... and now shes sucking me dry to keep me and im getting the sex of my life every week. Figured she found out what she was messing up on.

Any of you bros have resorted to this? It actually did meant nothing, just was using it for a scare.

You got lucky...this usually only works when her friends aren't close to her, or they don't respect her for some reason.

 

[anon56]

You got lucky...this usually only works when her friends aren't close to her, or they don't respect her for some reason.

i amplified the blame on her best friend, saying that she had got me drunk, her idea was to head back to her appt, and that she had planned to **** me, because she kept asking about her. Also told her that she trashtalked her (partially did happen). So i guess thats the only reason this played out well.

 

[sosousage]

Keeping it short, i gave my ex another try.

Everything was good, more submissive, better treatment overall. Boundaries reset, and everything under my terms now. However sexlife sucked... and she wasn't even trying in putting out. It couldnt be fixed verbally, only 2 options were to cheat, or end the relationship again.

So.. i had to cheat on her with her best friend, and i apologized for it, told her it meant nothing... and now shes sucking me dry to keep me and im getting the sex of my life every week. Figured she found out what she was messing up on.

Any of you bros have resorted to this? It actually meant nothing, just was using it for a scare.

lmao women are dumb

 

[anon56]

If you are in LTR then you've just set the timer on the bomb under your ass my friend.

Yes this is my LTR, could you elaborate on why? Also guys if you do this, you will temporarily lose your power until you establish frame again after the ****up(if you apologize) IMO you should never apologize, just admit you made a mistake.

I figured someone would say this, but i didnt know any other solution other to let her know that this was in no way a pass for her to do the same, or disrespect me (because she was getting bitchy), and if she did, we shouldnt even have anything then. Anyhow, if women are gonna cheat, they are gonna cheat. Doesn't matter what you did or do. There isnt much to do other than to just go on about my sht and hope it doesnt happen.

 

[sosousage]

this thread literally says women want to be cheated on

 

[glass half full]

I think they try to push us to it, see if we have the cajones to do it. If we do, we might be keepers. But who says we won't pay for it later?
We would...

 

[anon56]

Sure mate, back in my PUA years there was this young woman from my second job that told me after the party that her boyfriend cheated on her.
I told her "its terrible to cheat on person you love, how dare he!?" fast forward two months I was phucking her all the time and she was really open to everything in bed with me. She eventually went back to him iirc after I stopped doing her. She told him she needed time to rethink all their issues.

If woman is led towards the territory without principles, she will eventually adapt to this territory and act accordingly. Being a cheater for a woman is a sin just one level above being boring chump.

Very good insight, and heads up. Its been 3 months since, and we have been going to dance classes lately... Anything in regards to "needing time" for anything, ill drop her on spot. Take all the time you need.

Also lately she has been suggesting i stop going clubbing once a week. heh figures...

Thanks.

 

[RangerMIke]

You have set the standard that cheating can be forgiven. If you are okay with this then fine... When she cheats on you you have nothing to complain about when she comes back... Again, if this is okay with you the GREAT... no problem. If it isn't okay with you then you have potentially sown the seeds of your own disappointment.

 

[SoSuave666]

You have set the standard that cheating can be forgiven. If you are okay with this then fine... When she cheats on you you have nothing to complain about when she comes back... Again, if this is okay with you the GREAT... no problem. If it isn't okay with you then you have potentially sown the seeds of your own disappointment.

In principle this would make sense. But men and women cheat for different reasons. Men cheat to get their rocks off. They can have zero emotional attachment to the woman they cheat with and still very much care for and love their LTR.

Women do not cheat for this reason. 90% of the time if they cheat it's because they are getting an emotional connection with someone else. They are cheating physically and emotionally. If a woman cheats you HAVE to drop her. If a man cheats it's far more likely to work itself out.

 

[Glassguy]

So she wasnt putting out and you started banging her best friend.

2 thoughts:

This girl must be absolute trash if you banged her best friend and now she is all about fvcking you. She is a total bust in the emotionally sound department. I wouldnt even consider her a LTR potential in any way, shape or form.

If her best friend was attractive, why not just keep banging her and just keep the current GF on the backburner as a booty call?

 

[AJ84]

In principle this would make sense. But men and women cheat for different reasons. Men cheat to get their rocks off. They can have zero emotional attachment to the woman they cheat with and still very much care for and love their LTR.

Women do not cheat for this reason. 90% of the time if they cheat it's because they are getting an emotional connection with someone else. They are cheating physically and emotionally. If a woman cheats you HAVE to drop her. If a man cheats it's far more likely to work itself out.

Cheating is a crap move. If someone is using it to keep someone in line that’s the sign of a very toxic relationship, which is what this story sounds like to me.

Sure she stuck around, but like someone above stated this sets the tone and if you
think a woman won’t revenge cheat, think again because some women will absolutely do that. She may be filing this away to use at some point. Women are sneaky like that and he established that toxic crap is acceptable in the relationship so...

 

[AJ84]

I think they try to push us to it, see if we have the cajones to do it. If we do, we might be keepers. But who says we won't pay for it later?
We would...

If a girl is pushing you to see if you will cheat, she is not a keeper. Women who do that are less trustworthy imo and more likely to cheat on you.
That’s a red flag sh*t test.

 

[SoSuave666]

Cheating is a crap move. If someone is using it to keep someone in line that’s the sign of a very toxic relationship, which is what this story sounds like to me.

Sure she stuck around, but like someone above stated this sets the tone and if you
think a woman won’t revenge cheat, think again because some women will absolutely do that. She may be filing this away to use at some point. Women are sneaky like that and he established that toxic crap is acceptable in the relationship so...

I am simply stating the differences on why men and women cheat. For whatever reason if she cheats he has to drop her and never get back with her. The woman doesn't sound quality anyway

 

[glass half full]

If a girl is pushing you to see if you will cheat, she is not a keeper. Women who do that are less trustworthy imo and more likely to cheat on you.
That’s a red flag sh*t test.

Maybe...but the experience I'm coming from is an ex I was with, who realized I wasn't a cheater, then let her friends talk her into cheating on me.
They thought I was lying, or wanted her to think so. (troublemakers...)
I don't trust many of them, as many like to cause discord and break couples up.

They like to see a good man get fvcked over, and her with another guy. Misery loves company, you know.
I don't worry about the trust part though. I'm not up for an LTR, just lots of plates.
Too much trouble to put a true emotional investment into.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If the girl/woman pushes you to cheat it means that she wants you to give her a reason to leave you.

It means also that you are of no worth in her eyes and that you should have left long ago. If your relationship is at this stage, there's no chance for recovery. Your frame in her eyes is non existent.

Doesnt necessarily mean that. Im 2019 dating they expect worthy men to have other women. So cheating gains her respect.

 

[AJ84]

I am simply stating the differences on why men and women cheat. For whatever reason if she cheats he has to drop her and never get back with her. The woman doesn't sound quality anyway

They both sound like the relationship isn’t that healthy. But people do what you let them do so if she lets him treat her like a dog that will be cheated on when she doesn’t do everything on his terms, that’s ultimately on her. A higher value woman would walk away.

There may be different reasons why men and women cheat, but the common issue is the betrayal of someone’s trust, that’s a deal breaker for a lot of people, including women. And it should be.

Bottom line If the girlfriend or boyfriend isn’t working out, leave them and start fresh. It’s really that simple in my opinion, rather than cheating to prove a point or get needs met or whatever. Just move on life is short.

 

[AJ84]

Doesnt necessarily mean that. Im 2019 dating they expect worthy men to have other women. So cheating gains her respect.

No. Being desired by other women makes her man more attractive. That is vastly different than cheating on her.
Guy come on, how many women do you know that want to date men who they know will cheat on them?
I don’t know any woman who thinks, “Gee, my husband/boyfriend keeps cheating, that means he’s HIGH VALUE it makes me love and respect him even more. Betraying my trust and loyalty is hot.”

 

[marmel75]

Yes this is my LTR, could you elaborate on why? Also guys if you do this, you will temporarily lose your power until you establish frame again after the ****up(if you apologize) IMO you should never apologize, just admit you made a mistake.

I figured someone would say this, but i didnt know any other solution other to let her know that this was in no way a pass for her to do the same, or disrespect me (because she was getting bitchy), and if she did, we shouldnt even have anything then. Anyhow, if women are gonna cheat, they are gonna cheat. Doesn't matter what you did or do. There isnt much to do other than to just go on about my sht and hope it doesnt happen.

You already broke up once, now you cheated on her to "get what you wanted".

Even before this, this was pretty much doomed to failure. The reasons you broke up the first time didn't just magically disappear. Eventually they will cause you to break up again.

By cheating on her you basically now just made sure there will be fireworks when it finally does happen.